Fall-ing In Love Again

Hello girls! Happy happy weekend to us all!

Tomorrow I'll be on a trip, so I decided to write today, when I have time to, and I'm not after a long tiring trip. Hope you like the fact that I posted this song, because I absolutely love this song. For some reason it reminds me of seventh through eighth grade, and makes me so nostalgic. Unfortunately, though, I haven't found many people who know it. And it is a falling in love song that fits the windshield wipers' motion. Aghhhh *sigh of relief* I'm fall-ing in love with this season yet again.

Today I walked out of the house to find the most beautiful sight. The rain was just pouring down, but the sun was shining through. Apparently my parents witnessed the most beautiful of rainbows, but I didn't get to. I absolutely love the fall or autumn season, and this just signified the start of the season. Finally. The first true rainstorm of the season. I walked on to the porch and I just felt blissful. The smell of the wet pavement, the little rivers created by the huge puddles that you have to jump over to get across to the car, the little teardrop like drops on your lushes, the movement of the windshield wipers, the songs, they all make me feel so amazingly good.

Not to speak of the lovely little talk we've had with the mister yesterday night. It was short. It was quick. And yet, it was just as satisfying to see him write "Goodbye, my love :)". I don't know if he said it because he meant it, or if it is just a thing you say these days, but it made me smile like a fool. Who doesn't like smiling like a fool?

How lovely is the sight of all that? I love it when my face is cold, but my body is all wrapped up and huddled in a bunch of winter clothes. Can't imagine many things I love more than the rain season.

 We had our seniors' fair yesterday at school when it started drizzling a little, and we all, 200 seniors, started dancing in the rain, still in our t-shirts  and shorts, shall I  add, and it was the most incredible sight and feeling. So unified, so happy, genuinely feeling like we're about to finish school so very soon. Just dancing to the sounds of loud, obnoxious dance music that I wouldn't listen to on any other occasion but this one, dancing like mad fools, singing out the lyrics, having the best time of our lives; dancing like an odd tribally rain dance.

This is it. Finally sinking in like the pouring rain into the muddy ground, this is our last year at school. After 12 years we've spent, some together, some apart, we're about to finish this year, and each one of us will go on their own way, following their own dreams, with their group of friends, maybe not even, and we might never see each other again, or only see each other in our reunion, which will be in a very long time from now, when God only knows where each of us will be. How crazy is that? How insane? I can't imagine that I might never see some of those guys I had a crush on (half of the school basically. Kidding. Maybe), or some of the people I was on the delegations with, and traveled to the other side of the earth with, or some of my teachers that have been an enormous part of my high school experience. How odd will it be to see them again, years from now? All of them changed, or maybe just as they were, all of them married, or just as they were, all of them gray and silver, or maybe, well, white.

My dad just had his first reunion in many many years a week or two ago. He literally had a hard time falling asleep in the days before and after the event. He couldn't really put his finger on the reason why: was it the fact that he was excited to see how everybody has changed, or that he didn't know whom he might meet that might spark an old feeling of love, friendship or anger, that he was surprised at how old everybody looks all of a sudden, or where some people turned out.

Following that I've had a few weird dreams thinking of what mine might look like years from now. In some of them I end up exactly the way I want to turn up, in some I meet an old love, in some I decide not to show up.

Have you ever had a reunion? How was it? Have you thought about what yours might look like? What you might look like in yours?

Here's the first day of true fall's weather outfit:

 My coat is from Mango. I love the combat trend, as always, and as seen in the combat boots I'm wearing. Military is always a favorite trend of mine to rock in the winter months. It is also very very warm, which, the cold freak that I am, I must be warm at all times.

The jeans are an old pair I bought from a local store, and only recently have discovered again. A little torn up, but not too much. 

The scarf is literally the softest fuzziest scarf ever. It is an infinity off white scarf from Primark. It is from last year, but they must have ones like this out this season as well, especially with their Christmas-y  stuff. The boot are from a local boutique, and they are last year's pair. I just L-O-V-E them so much. So comfortable and useful. Agh *another pleasureful sigh*.

The cross earrings are from China. I love these. They are so dainty and small considering I don't like being BAM in your face about wearing crosses, but I love the shape nonetheless. The ear cuff is from a pack of three in River Island. There are the rose gold and gold ones as well, but I felt like silver is a lot more wintery for some reason.

Hope we all have a lovely weekend, and wish me a nice trip considering it's mad rain outside. XOXO Roni J.

Honeeeyyyy I'm Hommmmeee

Hello hello honey bees.
How are we today? Me? I'm amazing. The delegation was a lot of emotional ups and downs, but overall it was one of the best experiences of my life by far. It has been amazing getting to know some of the people better, and reconnecting with people I don't get to talk to on a day to day basis.
Bob, you know, the guy before the current one was there, too, and we really just had a blast together. Not in a romantic way at all. I'm done with him, but he was really taking care of me when I was crying, and he was really worried about me not eating enough, which is bull by the way, I might not look like it fortunately, but I eat more than him easily. He was like... Not to be weird and sick or anything, but he was like an attractive brother throughout this whole trip. He's attractive, but he was like a brother to me somewhat.

Just like in every past delegation I've been on this one came with a whole lot of crazy laughter. Sitting so many hours with so many good friends on a bus makes everything seem ridiculous and everybody's heads go mad. We spent hours playing games and laughing at people in their sleep.
Now that I'm back home, still missing my parents, because they are STILL exploring the world, I have to take care of myself, which quite frankly I hate, but if there's something, anything really, that I hate more, it's letting others take care of myself. Hence I sit in front of the computer in the most unhealthy way and munch on snacks instead of unloading my suitcase or cooking something healthy to eat. Way to goooo.

Here's an outfit of the day :) 
My John Lennon "Imagine" top is from Topshop a few years ago. I love it. Absolutely love it. It's like a band t-shirt, which I can never pull off, but better.
My shorts are from a local boutique, but they are just the regular high rise black shorts that aren't too fitted. I adore them for summer, spring, and autumn.
My earrings are from H&M and they came in a pack of four, and my necklace is probably my most worn evaaaa necklace, which is a gold bird necklace from Accessorize. I wore my ever comfortable black loafers.

Hope to write more interesting stuff tomorrow. XOXO Roni J.

I'm Sorry (OOTD)

Hello girls.
I'm guessing the most of us have absolutely no idea about the topic I picked for today, but we had a talk about it at dinner yesterday, and I thought it's something amazing that we don't get exposed to much in our everyday life.
While sitting at dinner my friend's sister said that today she will be fasting. I thought it was quite strange and we asked her why. She said that today is "Yom Kippur", which is a Jewish holiday, and that she thinks it's quite an important thing to do. Now, this girl is not Jewish at all, and I've know her for my entire life. I didn't know much about the holiday so she explained it to me. She said "Yom Kippur" in the Jewish tradition is a day where we ask forgiveness of God and of all the people we've hurt along the year for all our sins, and our wrong doings. It's a day for self reflection and inspection.
I was still intrigued to know how come she, of all none-believers, decided to fast during that day, and her answer was "I thought that stopping for a whole day once a year and self reflecting upon our mistakes and upon the pain we've caused other people is important no matter what you believe in", and I was absolutely blown away by the question. I decided to take it to heart and do the same. So for a whole 24 hours I will fast today, not just to ask my God for forgiveness, which I think is quite important at times, but in order to self reflect about all of the things I didn't do right with the people in my life. And so today I fast for all the times I made my friends feel uncomfortable about themselves or about their boyfriends, for all the times I was not thankful enough to the beautiful family that I have and for every time any person was hurt by me this year. I think if not fasting, we should at least all have a day where we stop what we're doing, and think back to the year we've had and ask forgiveness of the people whom we've hurt.
By the way as you might see from the background of the pictures I've started playing the guitar again after almost two years. Cannot express in words how much I've missed it. Such a relief to be playing again.
Now here's the outfit of the day :)

 The pants are my beloved Zara pants I bought last summer, and they seriously must be my favorite pair of all times.
My top is a denim top from a local boutique, and I love it as well.
My necklace is from Forever 21, and I bought it yesterday meaning there's a haul on the way!!! It looks like a paper bird, and I fell in love with it immediately. It is BEAUTIIIFULL!

My bag I think is also from Zara and the sandals are from American Eagle, but they are my friend's, and not mine... Oopssiee.




Hope you all have a great day, and that you do some self reflecting soon, as well as my hope that you will be able to forgive others, because sometimes it is just as hard.
XOXO Roni J.

Toxic

Hello girls and boys(?)!
How are we today. Feeling extremely attracted to this guy and wondering whether this year is a year to change, and take a chance to try to have something, some type of relationship or what not with this guy.
The problem is... I get sooo nervous. I know this sounds cheesy, but I'm a nervous wreck around boys even if I don't show it to the world. I look cold, people think I'm a snob, but in all honesty I just hate looking weak. I hate being defenseless. I was kind of hoping for God to make some kind of magical trick, something like a wave of the wand that would make this attractive guy come into my life, and sweep me off my feet and put me off balance, but, seeing as things don't work that way for me, I think I might just have to find some attractive guy myself and put myself off that comfortable balance I have been on forever.
The thing is...... He stresses me out. I feel a certain discomfort around him, and.... I hate that feeling all the while I absolutely love it. His smile is addictive, quite toxic to be exact. He is sweet, and, although he has never clearly stated what he think about me, he keeps saying  that I'm perfect for some unclear reason.

On one hand, if he really thinks I am, then I might have a chance at it. On the other hand, though, if he thinks I am so perfect... It would be like puncturing his bubble. He gets to know me, and then realizes I am everything BUT perfect. And then again there's the chance that he does not mean it at all, which means he's either sarcastic or says things like that to girls on a regular basis in order to get them laid or whatever. Possible.
What do you think I should do? Is it time that I let go of my beloved balanced life in order to take a risk that might be the best thing I've ever done? Is it just a trick he's playing?


Outfit of Friday I think:  The dress is a dog print dress I got while in China. Yes, my hair is ombred. My shoes are the loafers my mother got me. Sunglasses are inspired by John Lennon from China, and I love them. The dress is too short on me, because I am a few inches taller than the average chinese woman so I put a body con skirt underneath so that if I bend over or sit I won't be showing my business to everybody that's out there.

Love you girls a lot. Take time to read the previous post, it would mean a lot to me. XOXO Roni J.

The Ice Is Getting Thinner

Hello girls. How are you?
A few days ago I had a lot of questions popping up. Me and a guy friend of mine have been really... Rocky, might I say? I still have no idea if I can resolve it, if it can be resolved, and even if I want it resolved, but it has made me feel pretty woozy and down. I feel that in order to stay friends I have to give up my values and my freedom, and I don't like that. I've already said this a thousand times maybe, but I am a bird. If you tie up my wings, I won't be me, I won't be able to be truly happy. So I listened to this song that really represents what I feel. This song is "The Ice Is Getting Thinner" by Death Cab for Cutie. I've known this song for so long, but only now did I go back to listen to the lyrics, and it just made me cry. Out of quite obvious despair and annoyance with how things are and how I felt like a friendship I trusted a lot is falling apart and I don't feel like there's anything I can do about it while still being myself and doing what's right for me, I found myself sobbing. So I started typing, and this is what came out: "What do you do when a friendship falls apart? Something you trusted most is breaking like ice over a lake under the smallest of pressures as if it were glass slipping out of one's hand. The ice is getting thinner and thinner, and the things that seemed to keep this friendship from crashing down under harsher circumstances are slowly going away. The person you thought knew you best now barely understands the language that you're speaking. What DO you do when a friendship falls apart?"
I can't tell you that I care too much anymore, though. I realized that if I hadn't been honest with him the way I was, which is what started the fight, we would have anyways grown apart, because I'm not one to be willing to give up values of mine. They are called V-A-L-U-E-S for a reason. They are called it because they are valuable. They are worth far too much to be giving them up. Especially for a person who disrespects them and wouldn't give up any of his values for you. Mutuality is so important to me, and this case is not any different. In order for me to give up any of my values it's going to take a whole lot more than someone that I care about. It has to be someone that I care about and is worth caring about, and, as much as it pains me to say this, I'm just not sure he is.
I care about him a lot, I love him a lot, but I'm not willing to be his friend at the price of hurting other people and losing my freedom. Sometimes losing a friend is just the push that you needed in order to grow up and mature, or to find out what friendship means to you, or to find an answer to what IS friendship to you. I really have yet figured out what I want from him. Do I want to be his friend? Yes, but do I want him to listen to me and respect my words and values? All the more.
I'm such a Debbie Downer recently, you girls. I am so sincerely sorry for that, because I really don't mean to drag you down or make you feel like that. I am hoping things get better for me soon, so that I can write cheerful posts again.
Yet again here's an outfit of the day!
At first I styled it this way: This is a sweater from Zara, probably from like the nineties or something it's so old, that has always been really cropped on me because my figure is so tall that the width and length of shirts and pants usually doesn't match my figure. So I cropped it even more. The sweater is really light and colorful, so it's good for spring even if the print reminds you a lot of summer. I'm not sure if it's going to show up, but it has a shade of bright pink, green, red and gray.

For the first way I styled it was for school for something quick, so I didn't want to have too much skin showing. I tucked it into shorts from River Island in this aubergine-y shade, that have a nice flow to them to contrast the rather tighter silhouette of the sweater. In order to keep the cropped sweater from coming out while at school I put on a ribbon tied as a belt in a similar shade of gray to the one on the sweater. I do this a lot and it makes me feel like a little wrapped present.  
The second look I just let the sweater out and had it expose a little more skin. I also added one of my favorite necklaces. I think this style was more inspired by the character of Ivy on the show 90210. I love her style. I really do. 
This is it girls. Talk to you soon. XOXO Roni J.

Keeping Promises

Hello girls.
Was there ever a promise you didn't keep? Something you really wanted to stand by, but when the time came, you decided it's time to sit down. Something that when you look back ,you wish you would have, or wouldn't have done. Something you promised you wouldn't say, but the time called for it, so you went with it, said it, it poured out of your mouth and when it was out, there was just no way of getting those words back; back to where they came from, back to where they truly belong. Something that would be a good idea for you, a healthier decision for you to keep. Why don't we keep those?
Is it society that's making it seem like so hard, like too much of an effort to keep up with our promises? Is it society that makes it sound like temptation is good for us and that everything tempting is worth the risk? Is it us that we're so terrified of commitment? Is it people around us that doubt our abilities? Why?
Have you wondered about it later? Why it is that we want something so bad that we promise it to ourselves, maybe even vow, but there comes a day for some strange reason that we break that promise? We waste so much time making promises, so little time thinking about breaking them, and so much more time breaking them. Why do we make them then?
Obviously, I am also human. I make promises that I fail to keep all the time, but what drives me crazy is people who don't even make an effort at keeping them. Throwing away promises for them is like tossing an old juice box to the trash can.
Don't get me wrong. I think making promises is a good thing. It's even important. I think keeping those promises and making them come to life is even more important. It's rewarding. It shows an effort. It shows you care. I think they have a big weight to them and that they shouldn't just be dispersed in the air or tossed like they were some Frisbee.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you need, we all need to give more thought before making promises to other people, to God, to ourselves, to other objects you might find lying around in the room for all I care, and more thought into breaking them. They were meant to be kept.
I don't know why I spoke about this subject necessarily. That's so random. Ok. Whatever came out I'm fine with. 

 So this is an outfit I wore a WHILE ago, but haven't yet posted.
I wore this tank top I love from Urban Outfitters. It's a really nice turquoise color and it has lace stripes in different widths all over it. My style isn't so girly that I feel right in everything that has lace on it, but this is just the right amount, and it's black lace rather than white or pink, so it's suits me much better.
I also wore my boutique bought Chinos in the same kind of turquoise, except a few shades lighter. I think that with the black lace it created this nice dimension to the outfit, but that might just be me.

For jewelery I decided to go with my colorful Michal Negrin earrings and the necklace that is very similar the the earrings except in different colors, also from Michal Negrin. If you hadn't noticed my love for her jewelery by now, than you haven't been around for long, probably. Her website was linked a few posts ago but here it is in case you missed out on it.
The shoes I wore are my beloved suede loafers from Urban Outfitters by the brand Minnetonka.
Other than that the rings are the usual rings, and stuff.
Please leave a comment down below and subscribe to this blog. XOXO Roni J.

This is Charlie Simpson. Now this guy is amazing. He's a British folk artist, and his songs are just so touching and the lyrics so inspiring, and his voice and the guitar just so so soothing. Hope you enjoy him. He's BY FAR one of my favorite artists and his songs can make me cry in a snap. Love him.

Too Little, Too Late

This week is crazy intense, but i don't want that to harm our beautiful relationship that we've developed here. I went shopping with my mother today, so a haul should be up pretty soon. My life is really quite boring since I decided upon moving on and not looking back. That doesn't mean I regret doing so, because for now I really need my focus to be on school work and studies rather than on a stupid guy that only hurts me (true about most of the time), but still I wish some excitement came my way, because these days feel quite empty right now. I wake up, go to school, come home, maybe do something small, finish school work or study for a test and then go through the process of getting ready to sleep, and, on a good day, falling asleep fast.
I have these weird periods of time when I don't sleep all too well or all too much, and then I have these weird, crazy, freaky, and really creepy dreams. All sorts of dreams like walking with my friends in a field and reaching a house with a lawn and then the house suddenly explodes and all sorts of things like that that I really have no idea where they come from.
I went to a friend's birthday party today, and it was a lot of fun. We, 15 friends or so, sat at a restaurant for dinner and chatted and stuff. I really like those evenings when it's not so boring. I like having social life I guess. Sounds like I'm human. Oh darn.
I talked to my beloved guitar teacher about getting back into the guitar playing thing. I haven't had the time this year to really play around with it, but I hope that I can go back to it during the summer. My guitar teacher is the nicest, sweetest, most intelligent man I have ever come to meet. He's quite old and I honestly feel like he's my grandfather. My life has been full of adopted grandparents since all of my grandparent died well before I was born. I can honestly say I feel them being there for me and helping me in my everyday life, but sometimes I do miss that role in my life, and my guitar teacher does that very well for me. He teaches me far beyond the music and into all the arts and the important facts of life. Recently he has lost his wife and while she was sick he couldn't really give me any lessons, and then I got busy and our connection got a little lost from there on out, but I do need him in my life.
The loss of my first nanny this year and the upcoming loss of my beloved dog, as weird as that may sound, shook me a little bit to remind me how much I don't want to miss out on the people I love most in life. I'd never lost someone close to my heart up until this year when my first nanny died. She was very close to our family and has been battling with diabetes and all of its outcomes for years now, but, since I'd never lost anybody that close to me beforehand, I took her existence on this earth and by my side for granted. A week or two before she passed both my sister and my mother went to visit her not knowing that the end is this close, and I didn't come. Looking back, during her funeral, I realized how sorry I am that I had missed out on having a last day with her before she was gone from my eyes forever. It struck me really hard that people are temporary, and that every moment spent with someone you love should really be treasured.
 My dog has been diagnosed with some kind of cancer, and to some people that might sound stupid and cliche, but the truth is she is as human to me as many other people around me aren't. She is so good to people, so kind, and so intelligent, loving and caring. I know that once she's gone it will be another hard loss on me because I've had her now for about 11 years, and she's so dear and close to my heart that I really can't let that go.

I hope that my guitar teacher's life is as long as possible, but I know that, after he has lost his wife, that wish is very selfish. He loved her very much, so I imagine that life without her is really hard on him, but I want him to be there for me forever, because he has taught me so much and been there for me through my toughest years when I was rejected by so called friends and humiliated a lot.
The losses that I've both experienced and will experience soon, I guess, have both made me come to the conclusion that I should spend more time with him, get back to playing, get back to learning music and all other things from this amazing man before it's too late.

Don't do things you know you will regret doing and don't miss out on people you know you won't regret meeting. 




Here for another outfit of the day :D Cheers! 
My cardigan is from Forever 21 and it is striped black and gray. The lacy tank top is from Aerie. I love lingerie tops (as long as they don't expose any unnecessary parts of your body. They are lacy and feminine and a good quality. Rings as usual. The necklace is from a local store. Hit up the comment section if you want a more detailed answer. The jeans are my Lee Cooper, high rise, light blue washed jeans.
That's basically all.

Gone With The Math Wind

As the title claims, I am here for now. The next few weeks until the very end of the school year are going to be a hurricane, so please don't be disappointed if there's a week with only one post coming up or even less, and especially not the more decorated put together posts, because I have so many tests that my mind's burning up.
This week I have chem test and two math tests that I really am trying not to be too stressed about, because frankly that's what screws me up and makes me fail miserably (not that I actually fail, but I've been getting bad scores because of stressing myself out), so, you girls, wish me luck, please!
How have you been? To my sad impression you don't really like leaving comments which I would love to get. Don't worry about being good at English or whatever, because that, honestly, doesn't matter to me at all.
I am taking pictures of outfit of the days all the time for you, though not really able to take the time and do a real post to my awful dismay.
Other than that things haven't really changed, gone wrong, or gone fabulous. I don't have any boy drama, thank whatever higher force you believe in if you do. School is a little stressful, but I mean it could be because I just had a really long spring break, and I'm just not used to working my bum off. Yet. My family is great actually. Dad decided to stop smoking, which in my opinion is a great thing that will be healthy for us as a family and individually, and especially good for him. I am very proud of that life choice he has taken. My friends and I all made up (the ones I had fights with), and I really am just happy with my place in the food chain right now. I feel almost like a T-Rex, a super omnivore. I am honestly trying my best at not letting things get to me.
I am optimistic, very, which is a good thing for me to be at this point. I mean usually towards the end of the school year I am powerless, but this year I'm charging up to go at it full force.
Now here are three outfits from these past not so few days:

The first outfit was worn on an extremely humid day, and therefore I didn't wear any jewelery, but I did go to see 21 Jump Street, which was HILARIOUS, so try to go out and see it. An added plus is that Channing Tatum is extremely attractive, and I'm shallow like that. Hence the sweater in case I get cold in the theater, and I always get cold in the theater. The cardigan is from Zara and it has been featured more time than the dear beloved queen waves her hand in one day. The T-shirt is just an old T-shirt of my sister's that has a yellow cab on it and, I really like it. The shoes I was wearing are my Aldo black sandals that cannot be replaced in my heart, as far as my eyes have seen up until now.

This next outfit was worn on a day home when I didn't feel like putting too much effort into. I wore my mom's mint tank top with lace trimming at the neck that I steal all the time. Again I didn't wear any jewelery just because I was really lazy and was just solving math tests for nobody to hear or see. The shorts are from last summer's Urban Outfitter's collection. They're dotted all over, high waisted and have scalloped edges. The little short-sleeved cardigan is from Topshop, and I don't love it, but still I needed color. I didn't really wear shoes, because my feet love their freedom when possible.

The last outfit for today is an outfit I wore to school, and it has an autumn-ish vibe to it, but really it felt a lot like a fall day that day. I centered it around the necklace that I bought in a local boutique (for more information about the boutiques I shop at send me a comment so that I can answer you later more privately). I wore a plain gray T-shirt from Old Navy, which I always buy my basic T's from, with some high waisted denim shorts, again from a local store. Under the shorts I wore black tights and I paired them up with my shoes from Urban Outfitters that I saw Ivy from 90210 wearing in the last episode I think that came out, or the one before, and got really stupidly fan girly excited about it. That girl is a style icon for me, although I would never be able to imitate her. Other than that I wore all my regular rings and my lucky bracelet my dad bought me.

Anyways I really am desperate for your replies and thoughts and so on so please comment. Remember that "wherever I go, each moment away, I'm missing you more than I can say" as the lovely Karima Francis says in her addictive song "Wherever I Go". Have an awesome week! XOXO Roni J.

Well, I Have A Lot On My Heart

Dear, dear Fashionistas,
How've you been? I, well, I have been all over the place.
I don't know, maybe it's because it's "the moon's cycle", if you know what I mean, and I haven't actually been depressed or sad or anything, but I did have temper issues. I still had some really fun moments, but some people were just driving me insane. 
First I will start by talking about my best friend. We're literally like sisters, but we live far away from each other, so we rarely ever get to see each other, so our main way of communicating is through Facebook and other technologies of that sort. Let's just call her A. for short. I love her. I really do. She is an amazing person and she's so talented, but sometimes she just feel a little full of herself. She has this girl with whom she has been fighting with because she was jealous of A., and this other girl sounds, since I don't know her, less than friendly. A. tried talking over things with the girl she's been fighting with, E., which I appreciate greatly, and apparently it went great, but then she goes telling me that she doesn't get what E.'s boyfriend's doing with E. Seriously? Aren't you trying to mend things? Why screw this up? Just because you're stinking jealous? Therefore I tried talking her out of thinking so highly about herself over this E. girl, and I was like: "well, darling, do you think maybe the jealousy is mutual?", and she goes like "I don't posses jealousy". Who doesn't posses jealousy? I mean it's so human to be jealous, and although it might count as a sin in some religions or cultures, it is so freaking natural to be envious of someone, you know? I love her. I do, but sometimes she can't take criticism and admit to being speckled with flaws like all of us humans, and it bothers me, because I was raised to be selfless and humble.
Next vent is about how I went to this club yesterday, and obviously, since it is me, I wasn't drinking and I was really just looking forward to hanging out with the girls and dance and stuff, and then I forgot my I.D. Now, they have lots of publicists our age, and a few of them are friends of mine, so usually what happens if you forget your I.D. is that you talk to one of the publicists that know you're the right age, and they let you in, since they don't sell alcohol anyways. The only reason they do this anyways is so that young girls don't go mingling with really much older guys, and there aren't really much older guys there anyways, plus I am pretty darn tall, and I don't look like a middle school girl, thank God, so why won't you let me in like you usually do in those cases? But NO, they had to be stinky butts about it and take a whole lot of time away from my showing off my dance skills to the public for so stinking much money, only to find half an hour later, after standing in the cold in a skirt and a short sleeved top, that an older friend of mine who's 19 said that I AM the age of the rest of my friends that DID bring a stinking I.D. What the stinking crap?!
And last but not least, actually probably the most, is my semi-best guy friend we'll call G. Anyways, he has been inviting me and the rest of my girlfriends to hang out with the rest of his group of guys many times during the break. I am completely honest when I say this that this break all I wanted is to really TAKE A BREAK, and this, unfortunately for the way things turned out, includes a break from him. I love him, yet again, I really do. As I have said in previous blog posts I am much like a bird and I cannot be feeling like I am tied down or being held onto too tightly. I guess this is also my fault, but he was giving me a lecture about how he thinks that we, us girls, are avoiding them or whatever, and that we never go out with them anymore, and that we only go out to places where 12th graders are at, which is bull. He basically said that I was lying, and that "I just feel like hanging by myself at home" sounds like a lame excuse or whatever. I'm like a bird you guys, and this bird was feeling captured, and forced to be trained to behave the way he'd like me to, which are two of the most annoying things to me in humans. The sense that I would like to be domesticated by him, and bound by his rules of what I should be like sickens me, in fact. So I tried to explain to him that he's treating us girls like a herd of sheep when he says that we "all never show up", and that we "all have stupid excuses all the time", and that he has to "chase" us all the time. Seriously, what am I? My answer is a bird, and you're cutting off my feathers, and making my shine wear down. So at first I told him calmly "hey, listen, each one has her own reasons. I'm not like any of them and neither one of them is alike. Some of these excuses might be hiding some real problems, but he can't just talk to me and expect us all, as a herd, to now be obliged to say yes to every outing. Then, I got really flipping mad, because he was so in the idea he is right, that he wouldn't sharking listen to what I had to say, so, in order to not get hurt, I just went like "whatever man I was trying to help". This is what ticked me off the most, you know? I was really trying to help him.
Over all and on a much lighter note I did have a good week. I got to go cycling, and, even though I fell flat on my face, since we don't have cycling around here because it's so hilly, I really enjoyed being able to do it. I also visited a really good new friend of mine that lives far away, spend the night there, and have a girly night of talking and giggling and stuff.
Yesterday at the club was really nice, too. We went there a bunch of girls and just danced and didn't have a care in the world. It was also a confidence booster, because a lot of guys asked me to dance with them, and although I said no to most, because I was just looking for a drama-less night, it was nice to feel attractive, even if even the most unattractive girls got asked as much as I did and even more times or whatever. I also got to see many friends that have graduated or that I haven't seen in a long time, and it was really nice.
I fixed things with A., because I do care about her a lot, and I wouldn't like us fighting over stupid girls who make her angry, and surely not to become a stupid girl who makes her angry. As I've said the night at the club was pretty darn great after all, and with G., well, I'll just see where this goes, but since it's fairly fresh right now, I wouldn't want to speak out of anger you know?
So here are the outfits of this week that I haven't shown you:

This one's from when we shot a documentary for film studies: 

 I wore this dress from Zara, I'm pretty sure, that's in between a maxi and a midi which is good for spring when it's still a little cool outside. It's really body con and form fitting, so, if you're feeling insecure about your small booty or too big of a booty, then you probably shouldn't wear it, but I don't care my bum is really big and my boobs are not as big as they should be on a girl as tall as I am, but I don't give a crap, and essentially I got many compliments on it.
It did get pretty darn called so I took my black oversized sweater in case it gets cold outside.
I took a small handbag my mom and dad got me when they were in London, which is awesome of them.
I also wore my American Eagle sandals that have sneak print and olive green and black straps to them, to keep it looking a little more summery, and my only other accessory, accept for the bag, was my hombre colored sunglasses that I got when I visited my old town, a while ago, October maybe, for free, which was awesome.
To give the outfit a little color, I wore a new lipstick my mother got me for spring, which I'll review soon, that is a really nice coral color. By the way, sorry for my hand looking all bashed, but I fell off a bike, so I think you'll forgive me. 

The next is what I wore to the club yesterday:

 I wore no accessories at all, accept for my rings, because when I'm dancing I don't like being bothers about any accessories falling off and stuff.
I wore my tribal print shirt from Urban Outfitters that I absolutely adore since it's so light breezy, so it's not hot to dance with it, there's barely any sweat, but it does slide off the shoulders really easily, which bothers me.
I wore it with a skirt that's bright tangerine orange, a color that's really in this season, from Topshop. It's mini length on me, because I have extra long legs, but on other people it would probably be midi, I think. It's pleated, which I love because it looks great whilst dancing. I wore it with a belt that I make from a not-used-for-shoes-yet-shoelace, which makes it look like a bow, and me look like a little wrapped present. I didn't take a photo of the shoes I wore, but they're the shoes I was wearing today.

Speaking about today:

Today I was just going for a session of tutoring so I wore this:
So the shoes I wore, both today and yesterday night were these Aldo black sandals that I wear to death and beyond and are falling apart.
The shirt is from Zara, pants are from a local boutique, but I saw something really similar in Zara as well. The bag is from Urban Outfitters, and I wore it with the back straps, but it can also be worn as a cross body satchel, or just straight up on one shoulder.

That's it darlings, sorry it is indeed so long, but I've skipped a few days and had a lot to say. I have been introduced to this next song by my love to Sia, which I've been listening to for almost two years now, I think. It's really not my usual taste of music, but it's lyrics and Sia's voice are both just amazing. If you do know this song, but haven't checked Sia out yet, then this is another song by her that I love.
XOXO Roni J.

Familiar Things

Hello girls.
Today I'll speak about something I have found to be the most important thing. I think I have already mentioned in another blog post about the famous saying by Jean-Paul Sarte: "L'enfer, c'est les autres". If you aren't a French speaker, just like me by the way, so in simple English this basically means "hell is other people", which in my opinion is true. What would be hell for us? Death, the unknown, darkness, and other people symbolize that. We have control on almost everything in our surroundings, objects, animals, plants, but the two only things we don't have control over yet are earth and other people, which terrifies us.
On the other hand, I also believe that the opposite is true. Heaven is other people, too. We can never really be happy without other humans. Our unpredictability is one of the only things that keep this world an interesting place, one of the only things that makes us appreciate life, one of the only things that can actually put a smile on our face. Happiness is our heaven, isn't it?
Sometimes these people are friends. Sometimes it's a love interest. Sometimes they're our kids. Sometimes they're our parents or siblings, sometimes other family members, teachers, role models. These people are what brightens our days, what makes us smile, what makes us forget about those whose unpredictability causes us pain and suffering. Heaven and hell are other people.
My little piece of heaven has always been my family. They're a little bit nuts, a little bit insane, maybe even a little bit annoying, many, many times. Yet, these people love me unconditionally, they make me laugh, they make me truly happy, and they drive away almost any fear, almost every threat.
It's a shame that sometimes it takes us being away from something to really understand its meaning in our lives, but once we do it's so very beautiful. It took me being two years away from my family, continents and continents apart to make me realize how much I need them, and how much they need me. I am thankful for this every day and every night, every season that comes and goes, because most teenagers around me just don't know that their family is true gold. These things make me want to smack people across the face. They make me want to shake them until their eyes open, and I'm not speaking about families necessarily.
Your Friends can be your heaven, your love, your teacher, any person you meet in life really, but I beg you, on my knees, please, please, be grateful for them. There can be fights and pain and ache, because they are also our hell, but they can also make us so very happy if we only embrace them.

Anyways, after all this emotional little thing up there, I actually started talking about this because today, well, today heaven was other people.
We had a big family and friends dinner today, and I got reminded of how much I am grateful to be where I am with the people I am with.

Hope you all find or already have found your heaven, and I hope you feel it everyday. Here's the outfit I wore today. XOXO Roni J. 
I decided to go for a little colorblocking today.
I went for a shirt with a nice cutout at the back that covers up the back of the bra so it's not a big deal, and I also think it's a great way to be sexy without showing too much cleavage. It shows off skin, but it's not too outrageous.

The pants are also from a local boutique, but with all the colored pants being out lately I'm sure you can find something similar. The belt is from Ebay I'm pretty sure, and the necklace is from accessorize.
The flowers' ring is by Michal Negrin, and I love her jewelry this is her website. Although some or her pieces are plain CRAZY, I do love her more simple things.
The earrings are from my parents' trip to Iceland, and I think they're made out of Basalt, which is a rock formed by volcanic eruptions, which is awesome, in my opinion.
The sandals, yet again, are by Minnetonka, which is a native American brand, and I love these and have been wearing them to death and beyond four or three summers already, I think.
Sorry for the stains on my shirt by the way. I put perfume right before taking pictures. SMART.
Love you all and hope you find your heaven and have someone's arms be your home, and on that note (cheesy pun) today's song is:

Self Explenatory

So if you ever wonder where I was in the past few days, I shall tell you now.
I was right here all along. The truth is I was just struggling with the internet connection and we had to bring the internet person over to fix it, and I just couldn't write anything during that time, but I did take pictures of outfit of the days for you and they will be here today :D.
I hope you enjoy the outfits of the days I am posting right here and have a great weekend <3 XOXO Roni J.
This first outfit's picture was taken in a hurry before I had to go to school, so there's only one picture.
The shirt is from Zara I'm almost certain, the shorts are from Urban Outfitters on sale and they have a scalloped edge and dots all over them, and I love them so freaking much! The necklace is from a local store, and that's basically it. I didn't show the shoes I was wearing because they were just Havaianas flip flops. I felt like keeping it really summery and simple.

  This outfit, in contrary to the previous one is more put together and thought through. I also managed to take more pictures of it.
The shirt is a colorblocking shirt from last year's collection from Zara. I love it because it is so on trend and the colors are just so complimentary on most skin tones and they remind me of a summer sunset, which I love.
The pants are chinos that are also from Zara. I love their color. I think it's so versatile and they are just so amazingly comfortable that it's lovely.
The shoes are sandals I got as a gift from a friend, but they are from last summer's American Eagle's collection. They snake print (fake of course) exactly on trend this year, and they are supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ly comfortable.
The earrings are again Freedom by Topshop.
The rings are the same rings as ALWAYS.
The necklace is the regular bird necklace that my sister got me from Accessorize for my birthday. The belt I think is from Ebay or something like that, it's just a skinny brown belt.

Today's song is Long Distance by Bruno Mars. I don't know what this has to do with anything, but I've been loving it so much and humming it everywhere I've been going. It makes me sadly happy, if that makes any sense.