Sunday, June 30, 2013

June Sais Quoi

How long have I not written a normal sincere blog post? Far too long. My life has been... I'm not kidding you... FREAKING INSANE. I've got exams to finish (last on is ont he 4th of July...THE FUDGE?! You inconsiderate bunch of bastards!), I've got trips that I have already taken in the past few weeks and some thousands more to take, guests from my past coming, and a lot, a lot of goodbyes. So let's start explaining all the craziness that's already been going on in the past two months and continue on the path to the plans for July and August, which in comparison to them, May and June are a freaking knock knock joke.
The past two months:
I have basically graduated high school. I got a graduate diploma, a social excellence diploma for being student body president, and an academic excellence diploma, which my parents were all so proud of, and so was I. You don't know this, but it took me a long time to decide that this will be the high school that I will be attending after I came back from my two years abroad. I didn't know anybody there at the time, when I joined the school in the middle of middle school, and I didn't want to get back to my old group of friends that I was a part of in lower school. I must be honest to tell you this was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I became a part group of a really good crowd of people, and a large one at that. Besides that I can literally say that out of the entire senior class of around 250 students I dislike maybe 2, and get along with the most. These people were amazing, and accepting, and didn't judge me for my oddities, and I have many, from the very beginning. Sometimes I had rough patches with some of them, but being the  person I am, I click with a lot of different varieties of people, and I rarely ever got into clashes with anybody. So even if I really don't want any of them to freaking read this, I want them to telepathically know that I love them, and am so so sad to have to say goodbye to them all. Besides that I had amazing opportunities at school like the three delegations I took part in, student body, and amazing classes with very interesting teachers. So I'm as grateful as can be for the past four years. They were years very well spent.
As a graduation trip, the school took us into the city for the entire night. I mean we did not sleep, at all. We drove there (about three or four hours ride) by bus, but we didn't sit with our homeroom like we usually did on class trips and so forth. We sat with mixed home rooms, so I picked to sit with the one I have the most friends with, one of which is Tiny, which you might remember from past stories. I wasn't sitting next to her from the very beginning, and was sitting at the front of the bus. They played a sad goodbye song (Leaving On A Jet Plane) thinking they're oh-so-clever and oh-so-charming to make me teary eyed (the only one on the entire freaking bus), and I started crying, because I'm a girl like that, and I was trying to hide it, but the girl sitting next to me heard me sniffling a sob so she decided it was a smart idea to just yell "Oh look how sweet! Roni's crying", and I'm like.... Shut up bitch... Only much nicer than that, and Big Guy hears her, because he's sitting across from us, and says "Oh really? So you've got a heart now?". Apparently I don't show much emotions... Boo-freaking-hoo.. Kill me. My friend then goes on explaining she's probably thinking about how she won't ever see half of this senior class after today (good call pal), to which Big Guy replies in his snake charming voice (when I say snake charming, I mean both a snake, and a charmer, not a charmer of snakes) "don't worry Roni, we'll keep in touch" and winks, at the same time as I say "oh this is probably the same half of the senior class I really don't care about", which, because it was said in the exact same time, sounded kind of like a diss to him. Oooppsss.
So after a while I get tired of the crowd in the front of the bus, so I go sit next to Tiny in the back of the bus and we talk and stuff. I flirt with Mr. Perfect, who's taken now, but the heck I saw him first (probably didn't.. So what? Fuck off!). Then, Mr. Perfect's quite handsome (and not far from perfect himself) friend sits with Tiny and I. We cram in the three of us into one bus stool, which kinda feels like an odd orgy. But we talked and laughed and it was great. I never knew him too well, I only knew him by his name and a little background, but never invested myself into getting to know him too well. Then I got a little car sick so I went back to sit in the front section of the bus, and, Tiny told me later, this new mister, Mr. Mystery, told her right after I got up that I'm cute, and how come we've never talked before, so Tiny said to him, you seriously missed out, and he said I can see I did. Later on the bus rides from one place to another in the city Mr. Mystery and I sat together alone, and talked and flirted and laughed, which was nice, and like a new door has opened up for me. A new door of opportunities. On a later bus ride after touring the entire city, and flirting with a bunch of guys from my grade, Big Guy asked me on the bus whether or not he'll see me in the party later on that night, and I said maybe very sheepishly, knowing that he looks at me every single party that he sees me in, and can't stop staring at me, and then he said "I hope you do".
That night we do end up going to that party, almost the entire group of our friends, but what's a party with a big group of girls without a bit of drama?! One of the girls gets there far too late and far too pissed of at all of her friends who've been trying to help her, and drinks just a teenie weenie too much. By the time we get to the party she isn't feeling well, and me and another friend are a little too late to get to check up on her so she points at my friend and says "I hate you", and the points to me "And you're pathetic so you can also leave", and I'm like.... Ppfffffttttt OH REALLY. My other friend takes it really hard cause A. she's drunk, and B. she cares too much about the stupid girl's opinion, but me? I don't I tell the rest of the girls to watch her and get her home, because I ain't no bitch, but I just get up and walk away after she says "so you can also leave", and I say "fine I will". I wasn't hurt by her because I know I'm not "pathetic", and if I ever were to be I would still be less pathetic than she was at that moment. You're drunk, about to throw up in front of your entire grade, looking like a hot mess, and I am the "pathetic" one? I think not. I just thought she had some nerve to say these things to us after we took care of her the entire night so that she could come to the party (we had to wait hours for her to show up, not knowing if she's even going to show up in the end, and rush to hop on the taxi, I literally had to run to catch the taxi), and after we come to check up her. She's got some nerve. I am not mad at her anymore I am not holding any grudges or anything, because I'm better than that, and I shouldn't act like a five year old, but I'm kind of done. I mean I'm not going to ignore her because I don't want no drama, but a friend who treats you like this on a regular basis, when she feels like it, and pushes you around, does not deserve me as a friend, and I do not deserve being put down.
Later on though, things get better, cause I talk to Mr. Mystery, and flirt a little more with him and with Big Guy, which always puts you in a better mood when you're being complimented. Mr. Guy though, has been ignoring me for days already, and it got really weird when he said hi to the girl next to me at the party, and said nothing to me, and didn't even look at me. I don't feel the same way I did for him as I did before, but it's still quite offensive to have the son of a gun ignore me.
Days pass, and we're getting ready for summer camp so we meet up a lot. Yesterday we did a writing session for the senior songs CD that we bring out every year for summer camp, and it was hilarious. Just insane. I love them so much. Another goodbye, though.
Tonight I hosted a BBQ for my homeroom to say yet another goodbye,which is no fun whatsoever, and I am feeling horrible, so I didn't feel like hosting anything. I think I got a cold from sitting outside last night until very very late writing songs with the nut cases I call my friends. But I couldn't have asked for better people, and a better experience than I had had with my homeroom the past three years. These kids made me the happiest, the most comfortable and welcomed I have ever felt, and I am so grateful for that. And there's a huge rock weighing down my chest because... I just am going to miss them so much. And I hate goodbyes because I always cry (already managed to cry for about an hour today after the BBQ). I just sincerely love these people like brothers and sisters, and I feel like not seeing them everyday is... heart breaking.
This is summing up what's happened up until now. What's about to happen is some crazy shit. It's gonna be all shades of nuts. Tomorrow early in the morning I have an interview for a job I might get in about a year. It's an interesting job, but I don't know much about it yet. Later on tomorrow a family that hosted me a part of my two years abroad is coming to visit me, which is sweet, but I haven't really managed to keep in touch with them over the years, so hopefully it won't be terribly awkward. Later this week will be my very final exam of my high school experience on Thursday, and on Friday we go on 8 days of summer camp. This is when I start living out of bags for the next month or so. The very next day I go to a little seminar with the people that will be attending college with me next year, which has to be interesting, but I'm resenting it for some reason. Possibly cause I'm scare, possibly cause I've had an amazing time the past three years, and don't really feel like starting something new when I'm not yet near done with high school. But that meeting is in the city so I have to drive in after not sleeping well for around 8 days if not more.
The very next day I have to be in the city again, because I'm flying out to Greece with a bunch of my best friends. We're staying there 5 days for a fun beach holiday, and then we get back. The very very next day I have to be back in the city though, because I'm flying out to my momma who's moving to Norway for half a year for her job. So I won't see her for half a year after the two week I'll spend there, which is bound to be hard as hell. I'll try my best to write in the next two months, but I doubt I'll be able to write much, because I will be living out of a suitcase. Not complaining, though. I'm going to have the time of my life. I am excited about this time. It has some je ne sais quoi about it. Some mystery. Some magic.
So my favorites the past two months have been:
1) 2 Broke Girls. Best comedy ever. I'm not even kidding you guys. This is my exact humor- sexual, dirty, sarcastic, but not vulgar! Hilarious hilarious hilarious story about a rich New York elite girl who loses all her money and meets up with another broke girl who's always had to work hard and fend for herself, and together they try rising up. Just freaking crazy and amazing. Can't wait for next season.... CANNOT!

2) Happy Endings. Sweet little comedy I started watching when I finished 2 Broke Girls. Not nearly as funny in my opinion, but still very lovable, and I am so sad they have canceled it. Hope they go all Cougar Town with it, and film it in a cheaper setting to close it up nicely.

3) Baby Daddy. Season 2 is just... 20 times better than the first. I just freaking love Danny (Derek Theler) so much. He's such an adorable character, which is funny because I tuned in in the first place to watch Jean Luc Bilodeau, but I just like Derek SO FREAKING MUCH. I follow after them all on Instagram, and they are just so cute.

4) LOL. Cutest movie I've seen in a long time. The guy interest in the movie is just the perfect personality for a men in my opinion. Confident, and caring, and honest, a good friend, a musician. That's what made this movie so lovable for me. Love her new song, too, and even though the music video is crazy and a little over over the top, I appreciate the creativity put into it.

5) Nashville. Watched that show in like 2 days because I loved Gunnar. Again, he just possesses most of the qualities I see in the perfect man.. He's just adorable. Loved the music in it, which has majorly affected my playlist with songs like I will fall, If I Didn't Know Better, and so forth. Love country music even more so now than I did then. I also love Maisy and Lennon, and think they are absolutely amazing and crazy talented, and hope to see more of them, because they are just.. Mind blowing.

6) Stubborn Love by The Lumineers. This song has amazing lyrics, and I just love the video for some reason they touched my heart very deep. I just fell in love with it very very quickly.
7) Tip Of My Tongue by The Civil Wars. Such a seductive song, but so genuine and true, and loving. I just adore it.

8) Pretties. Not yet done with it but so freaking close. I just love this series so much. They make it sound so real, and it sounds so realistic that people would think to make us all look the same and think the same.

I don't really have beauty favorites these past two months, because I have been very constant with products and all, but I promise to try out some new things. Love you, and probably should go to sleep if I want to wake up in time for my interview tomorrow. XOXO Roni J.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Up(to no)date

Hey pretty ladies, how are you today?
I'm doing well considering  the circumstances, which are basically a crap load of tests. And the endless tango of "loves me, loves me not" that's going on in my incompetent brain. Flower petal after the other I'm picking them out, and sometimes they end up saying there's nothing there, and sometimes they say there's something, but whatever the petals are saying, whatever the signs might be saying, I doubt them. Whatever the signs point to, immediately my gut feeling points in the other direction. 
Nothing dramatic has happened since the last post, really, which should be concerning, because nothing's going on in my life right now, and that's not great. Big Guy and Mr. Guy have been doing that same thing they always do- confusing me. 
We had a test in biology last week, and we are all taking A.P. bio, so we all ended up in the same place. Mr. Guy kept asking me the most random questions that had nothing to do with the test, or with life on earth really, which, after a while, kind of started sounding like he's seeking my attention. That was weird to me, considering he hasn't been seeking my attention, or seemingly been seeking my attention in a very long time. Big Guy on the other hand just treated me in a casual matter, being nice, wishing me luck, being sweet. The test was divided in two, so after the first part, I sat on the staircase in the hallway with a good friend just talking. So Big Guy comes around and starts asking me how the first part was, and I answered very sweetly and smiled at him, but was cut off midst sentence, because Mr. Guy peered in out of nowhere, and saw that my attention was on Big Guy, and started touching my face, because he's odd like that, and that's what he does when he's trying to get someone's attention. So then Big Guy sees that my attention was diverted onto Mr. Guy, and he starts messing up my hair, so I divert my attention onto him, and then Mr. Guy sees that my attention is shifted to Big Guy and Mr. Guy says something that I didn't necessarily hear, but was supposed to refer to me to perhaps get my attention back, and Big Guy then started touching my face like Mr. Guy does usually, and I mean it was all so weird that by the time the teacher called us in for the next part, I was pushed up against the stairwell's wall, because they were all up in my grill. I was really weirded out by Big Guy's actions, because I used to think he's the rather normal guy, but then again I see that normal's not an option if the guy is good looking.
So then I had many tests and all sorts of things, so I was really looking to dance my stress away. And yet again, third party in a row that Big Guy's been looking at me all the time. Or at least I imagine him looking at me all the time, and I have no idea whether I'm imagining or not, and whether he's looking at me because he likes me, or because I look ridiculous. Quite honestly I could care less, if he thinks I'm ridiculous when I dance, because I am one good catch with a boat load of crazy moves.
One of his friends, though, that showed up in the past parties, as well, is a smoked little salmon swimming in this pond, and all the other fish in the sea really look like clown fish next to this one. He is a good looking chap, and Tiny said that this little fella is actually Tony's best friend, and in her opinion, the best guy he hangs around, because he's serious, hardworking and nice. I doubt I am ever going to have anything with him, because, hey, I can barely get them damn clown fish circling around me, so how will I have him doing it?
It seemed, if I am honest, that the two talked about me a little, because they were whispering, and then looking at me. Or maybe, as usual, I was just imagining, because there's a difference between what's going on around me, and what I think is actually going on around me.
Funny thing happened in the club. They have screens with videos and photos and stuff, going while the music's playing, but then... A clown picture, the scariest clown ever, and it doesn't take much of a clown to scare the crap out of me, appeared on the screen, and I almost started crying... Worst minute of my life.
My sister adopted a cute little puppy to her new apartment, and he's seriously the cutest freaking thing in the world. He's... Precious. I fell in love with him the first second I saw the little guy. I have a new family member, which I am absolutely in love with.
Two days ago, in some weird series of events, we planned a BBQ for a bunch of friends, and I said that I can host it in our garden. Mr. Guy was invited, because he's in that group. I was waiting in my room for a friend, who said she was going to be there early, writing to another friend on Facebook. Since that friend I was writing to lives in a whole different country I write her very long letters. I was in the middle of writing her, and Mr. Guy shows up 40 minutes earlier than was supposed to. I got really nervous about keeping him busy for 40 minutes without getting busy with him, so I asked him if it was ok that I finish up writing to my friend, and he said sure. So we were sitting on my bed in my room, me typing on the laptop, all the while we're keeping an extremely awkward conversation. Then I finish writing but we stay in my room, and he asks me about a girl we both know and says that he knows many people that hate her, and I said "oh, I don't hate her. She's sweet". Then he turns to me, looks me in the eyes, puts his hand on my thigh, and says "you never hate anybody. You're too sweet." To this I basically replied with me running away, saying something along the lines of "I should probably put the Coke in the fridge.." Then we sat outside waiting for the rest to show up, and he picked up my guitar, and started playing. Then he stopped and said "you look really nice today", mind you he said this meanwhile playing the guitar on a moonlit porch.... Then he stopped playing, and asked me "hey, Roni, what's you're favorite song? I feel like impressing you." Dudeeeeee! What now?! So I told him "Candy by Paolo Nutini", and he has to look it up on his cell, and then he needs a capo, but I say I don't feel like going inside to fetch him one, so I say I'll just hold my finger in place for him, and then we just sit there... Playing together... A love song...
And then my friend finally shows up just half an hour too late... Have no idea what the hell I'm doing.
Have a fabulous day <3 XOXO Roni J.