Saturday, March 30, 2013

When In Rome

Hello dear loved ones.
I'm sorry this has taken me literally ages to get to write this post but hectic doesn't begin to describe the state of my past few weeks. I mean, since the trip to Rome itself I've be to a thousand other places, and done a thousand other things, but I guess I should start somewhere, and the trip to Rome is a great place to start.
It was just me and my sister, as kind of a birthday present for the both of us from our parents, which was very gracious of them. We bought a deal for four days and three nights with a flight and all. We stayed at a sweet little hotel really close to Fontana di Trevi, which is on the east bank of the Tevere (Tiber), and real close to the Spanish steps, both of which are absolutely freaking beautiful.
Every day on the trip, we'd wake up to an amazing day, we'd go eat breakfast at the hotel, go touring the city, sit at a cafe to have a small lunch, go on touring the city, sit down to eat fabulous dinners in sweet authentic restaurants, and we had loads of fun.
We really didn't get to do much shopping, because most of the places that we knew of were very high fashion, which is not really in neither of our price ranges, and I am 18, I really don't need to walk around with a Chanel bag. I bought a few things at Brandy Melville, and a few in this really cool thrift shop we found, and I will show all of it in a soon summer haul I will post (sooner than the time it took me until I posted this post hopefully).
We sat in a few wine bars, which is something we're not really used to. To be honest, I don't really like wine, but my sister enjoys it so we'd have it anyways so that she could get the full effect of her Rome experience. My sister and I had some really deep conversations about life, and boys, obviously, boys, and a lot of it. She got a new boyfriend not too long ago, and he's the complete opposite of her ex. Her ex was reserved and never told her how he felt, while her new boyfriend is so open and clear about what he wants, which is good because she, herself, is quite shy, and doesn't like talking about her feeling at all.
Since the trip, I had been extremely freaking busy. I have my school's play coming up April 18th, and because it's a little bit of a musical there are also dance number I participate in, which means I have both acting and dance rehearsals either from noon till 5 in the after noon or going way past that into the late afternoon hours.
Except for those rehearsals, us girl have been going out a whole freaking bunch, because the reharsals start at around noon, and we don't have school before hand because it's the senior musical, and most seniors are in it. So we get to wake up fairly late as opposed to every other day, and we just went out to a few bars (not that I had anything alcoholic to drink, you kinda know my opinion of it), and parties, which I will go into explicit deta
ils in a bit.
 We also planned two weekend trips, one with my friends and the other one with my next year's college mates. On the first trip we were only two girls and seven guys from my grade (including Mr. Guy, surprise surprise). We stayed in the woods that are like ten minutes away from my house, and it was a lot of fun. The guys brought a lot of beers, but I stayed clear as usual, and then Mr. Guy asked "are you going to drink tonight". Obviously I replied with a simple "no", but then the other guys commented that by him asking me that it pretty much means that he was planning on making a move on me, if I got drunk. Ew. The moment they said that I was like.... If he's that much of a wimp, like a bigger wimp than I am, then I really don't think I can continue being attracted to that. I really don't think I can. We had fun that night, and we even had a little bit of a scary moment hearing a girl singing in the woods, which we really thought was a ghost for a few seconds, and it made us shiver our pants off, but soon after we realized it's just a Karaoke party taking place nearby. When we woke up in the morning, we had a short hike in the woods to the nearby village where they have real good restaurants. We got to a sweet cheap restaurant at around 2pm, where they serve Paella. We ordered two plates of it to share, Mr. Guy and I shared one, and two other guy friends of mine shared, as well. When the two dishes reached the table we realized they are FREAKING HUMONGOUS, like a mountain of rice and goodness.
So we start eating, and I'm eating like a true lady, one bite at a time, and then we realize that me and Mr. Guy have had more than the other couple, which makes it a little bit of a challenge for them and they try to beat us by having more, but soon they are more than done. And then they realize we beat them more so because I had a lot to eat, more so than because Mr. Guy had a lot to eat, and then he sees that as a challenge. In the end he barely beats me, and they are all astounded. They never thought a girl that's actually rather thin could beat them in an eating competition, and that realllyy hurt their pride... Boohoo. The funnier thing about it is that Mr. Guy walked out of the restaurant barely holding himself up he was so full, and on the other hand there's me, almost skipping my way out the restaurant, all light and breezy. The entire car ride home he barely manages to say anything, but when he does say something he says something along the lines of "you're insane". Got beat by a girl, and tries to make her look bad in order to get his self esteem up.... Real attractive and manly qualities (NOT.... ).
Later that Saturday, we all went to a party, and when I got there my friend was talking to him. My friend has a boyfriend that wasn't coming to the party (probably too tired of the trip earlier that day, and possibly ashamed of his defeat, being one of the guys in the other couple who share that very same dish). So Mr. Guy, who's really good friends with that guy, whispered to her "shame you got no one to make out with", and then she said "at least you do", and pushed him towards me, not knowing that I'm not interested in him anymore because the entire day he was acting like a sissy. Anyways I was really pretty, wearing a cute, white summer dress, that has white mash or lace detailing around the neck, and it's flowy and in the ultraviolet lighting it was all purple and flaring. So after he's been pushed towards me he comes and whispers in my ear "you're absolutely nuts", and I look at him in the most sheepish look like Hey, I'm innocent, and he says "I know you're not innocent", and looks me in the eyes with his electric blue eyes, and for a second all I can think of is hormonal, rather forgetting that he was acting like a girl an instant ago, and then he caresses my waist, and I walk away.

The picture is of the place where the party took place before it started, one of my friends sent me.

The entire party a ton of guys started hitting on me, which was really flattering, but nothing came out of it. The party over all was really tons of fun. They handed out body paint that glows in the dark, and everybody was really colorful, and glowing, which always makes your heart light up a little. The music was much better than in the past few parties that I've been to, and that always makes me feel better in a party, when I can sing the lyrics out and all.
Then I was in the college trip. It's a real small college, and it's rather a year of studies, but you get no degree from it. So there's only one year, and only like 48 people in that year. Anyways, the people are almost all very lovely, but I got scared out of my mind and really depressed, realizing that I am not going to be in high school forever, and live at home forever, in the same familiar environment that I oh so love and appreciate.
We also went to the big city one night to celebrate one of the girls' birthday, and we took her to see stand up comedy. The opening act was actually better than the guy we came to see, but it was really funny anyways. There was a lot of drama with a few of the girls, and they did what pisses me off the most, where they decided everything for the birthday girl, because she's considerate, and doesn't want them to be upset, but they kinda forgot it's her day along the way. We then went out to eat, and it was really nice. We got back so late that there were no more buses from the train station back home.
Sorry that it has taken me so long to post this, and I really crammed it all in here but I had a lot of fun the past few weeks, and I had gone on a lot of adventures, and I hope you're having as good of a time as I am having. Have a great Easter tomorrow, if you're celebrating it, great ending of Passover if you're celebrating, and if you're Bahai, which would be really cool, hope you had a great New Year's on March 21st, the day of the equinox.
Happy 1st birthday to my blog! <3 XOXO Roni J.

Monday, March 11, 2013

50 Random Facts About Me

Hello dear loves, I was just in Rome for a few days, and I will tell you all about it in the next post "When In Rome" with a haul and all, but I need a little break. So here are 50 random facts about me. Now that I think about it it's going to be realllly hard to gather 50 mildly interesting facts about me. Oh jeez. Let's start.

1. I don't drink coffee. I know this is something that many people don't do, but the actual fact is that I never drink coffee, but I always steal the foam from the people I sit with. So if there's a person (not just anybody, this is for special people only ;)) with whom I feel comfortable (and I will always ask first), I will take a table spoon of  the coffee tasting foam at the top with brown sugar on it. I'm weird like that.

2. I learned sign language in lower school. 2nd to 6th grade actually.

3. In sixth grade, thanks to my lovely skills (that have been long forgotten since) in sign language (wish I'd remembered more) I tutored a deaf girl, or rather a hard of hearing girl that went to my school.

4. I've been learning to play guitar for the past almost eight and a half years.

5. I am terrible at it, but I love playing, and I love my teacher who's almost like a grandfather to me.

6. I never got to meet any of my real grandparents, but that's alright. I love them nevertheless.

7. My last dog's name is Joy, which is my middle name, and my grandma's name.... Yea...

8. I have a problem with people around me wearing the same scent as I am. That's the reason I stopped wearing DKNY Be Delicious, even though it smells delicious.

9. My favorite movie ever, for some reason, is the Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. I love the editing, the story, their costumes, the entire movie.

10. This is getting really hard to find more facts haha. I have a real problem with eating things with odd textures.

11. That's the reason of which I don't eat sea food. It tastes alright, but the texture of it kills me. I want to gag every time I try to eat it.

12. I don't like chocolate. The reason for that being me being an odd child, but not just some regular odd child, oh no. In second grade I switched schools, and decided I need to have something special about me so that I would stick out. I decided I'm going to tell everyone that I don't like chocolate. In the process of lying to everybody, I actually stopped eating chocolate, and managed to convince myself that I don't like it. Up to this day, every time people make me taste chocolate once more, I want to gag, because I've told myself hard enough that I don't like it. Wish it would have worked out the same with guys.

13. That being said, I love seeing anything made with chocolate, I love the look of food really. If you ever checked out my Tumblr (do it ;) you know you want to ;)), you would know the entire page is covered with pictures of food.

14. I have been called a hipster so many times by now. I take it as a compliment although I don't view myself as one. I do have my oddities, love indie music that's not exactly popular, eat good homemade organic food (because my mom's a genius), and dress differently to other people, but I don't give a crap what people might think about me or what they label me as. I am just me.

15. I love depressing sad songs. My friends think it's weird. People think that makes me depressed or whatever, but it's just that sad songs seem to get me. They hit the right notes, and they are mellow and soothing. They just make me feel better about myself, which is nothing bad... It's actually great.

16. My biggest dreams are to change the world, and to travel to the Bermuda Triangle, and solve its mystery.

17. I don't like sweets too much, but I can eat a bag of chips or pretzels in a second.

18. I used to be addicted to The Sims, any expansion, 1,2, and 3, but I never really liked playing with them living too much. I liked building their house more than anything. When playing, I would have them sped up to the maximum..

19. My goal is to get over my fears, and I have a ton: stage fright, fear of heights, fear of exposing emotions....

20. One of the fears I'm dying to get over is to buy me a pair of Jeffery Campbell Litas, and to stop being ashamed of my height so much. If I like a pair of shoes so much, I shouldn't be stopped by the fact that I'm tall. Stopped by the price? That's a more reasonable question.

21. My sister and I, when we were much more little, and way less heavy, used to dance on the coffee table in the living room to the sounds of Britney Spear's songs.

22. I would also play Tekken with my beloved brother and his friends.

23. As a child I wouldn't like wearing much clothes and was probably naked for the vast majority of my childhood.

24. I still hate wearing shoes and love to take them off as soon as possible.

25. I don't like being connected to my phone. I rarely answer calls, and not because I'm a mean friend, but just because I hate depending on it, so it's either forgotten at home, or uncharged for most of the time.

26. My dad's nickname for me is Uzzu Buzzu ever since I was a little pimple....

27. In the end of learning how to read we each got a book that was printed with our names in it as the main character, and by total coincidence there was a magic word in there.... It was Uzzu Buzzu. Yea my dad predicts the future.

28. I sleep as hard as a log of wood, but, for the strangest reason ever, I wake up from things that I know need to wake me up. For example, the loudest thunder storm, or my sister walking into my room to take a sweater would never wake me up, but my alarm clock or a guy coming in with a fresh Sharpie in order to paint on my face to be funny will wake me up in seconds.

29. I don't take time to wake up. I just hear my alarm, and sit straight up. I don't roll over in bed, and I sure as hell don't press snooze. Wake up at 08:07 for all I care, but pressing the snooze just makes those seven minutes a living hell. Set the alarm to 08:07 for crying out loud.

30. If I could learn all the languages in the world I would. I find them all fascinating.

31. I would love to have a scratch off map of the world, so that I can scratch off all the places I've been to, and gratefully so, I have been to a lot of places.

32. I'm a  lefty! Yay us.

33. I am more alert when I sleep less at night, but I love sleeping so goodbye alertness.

34. I love romance novals like "Daddy Long Legs", "Pride And Prejudice", and "Jane Eyre".

35. I am a major bookworm. I love that magical IMAGINATION (SpongeBob tone intended) space and time that reading creates.

36. In 7th grade my math teacher told us never to divide by zero or the world would explode, a kid in my class said "I shall divide by 0", and a painting fell off the wall. True story.

37. I am a supertaster, which means that my tasting sense is fiercely strong. I have a lot of taste buds apparently.

38. I have also a very developed sense of smell, I can distinguish what someone's cooking, or put in a dish just by smelling it. Weird.. yea..

39. Pixie lights or Christmas lights make my world go round. Actually candles, too. And stars. Anything that looks like a small light resource is charming to me.

40. My favorite thing about nature is the night sky.

41. Some people think I'm a heartless bitch just because I am painfully shy. I swear I am one of the most accepting people I know.

42. I was obsessed with Argentinian Soap Opera's. All Chris Morana stuff are a huge part of my childhood (Rebeldeway, Chiquititas, Floricienta). If you don't know what I'm talking about you better expand your horizons, because everything I don't know about love I learned from there.

43. I've been on a cooking kick lately. I just enjoy the kitchen. That never happens.

44. My chin is uneven. People don't notice it, because it's not really visible, but when you feel it the bone is uneven.

45. My colar bone is uneven (also not visible), because of a Lacrosse accident, when a ball came at me when I wasn't looking during practice.

46. I hate reality shows. I don't judge people who see them, but the only ones I've ever been capable of watching are ANTM and Project Runway.

47. I love clothes, but it seems like every time I go in to buy clothes my attention is diverted into the jewelry section.

48. I had a stuffed dog that I named Pee. As in I have to pee, Pee. What the hell's wrong with me?!

49. I don't have nightmares really. My dreams are the creepiest, but they don't scare me. I just think they're really weird while dreaming them, and when I wake up I realize how freaky they were.

50. I am not familiar with 4 am and 5 am. These are hours I never get the chance to see in real life. I don't  wake up early enough or fall asleep late enough to. For all I know they are complete fiction.

That was all sweethearts. I will get back on track soon. Sorry I didn't do February Favorites, but I will do March Favorites when the month's gone, and make up for lost time. <3
Here's a song I've been loving :)
XOXO Roni J. 

Monday, March 4, 2013


Shiva, in the Jewish tradition, is a period of seven days, in which people mourn for their loved ones' deaths. In this period of seven days, a week basically, all of the family gathers in the house of the dead, and mourn. And sit. And mourn. And talk about their beloved. And mourn. Relatives and friends come, too, usually carrying food, because the family shouldn't be bothered with cooking and hosting all the people there, when they literally can barely handle themselves.
When I was four or five years old, we went on a trip to Paris and Euro Disney, from my dad's 44th birthday, and my brother's 13th, which they always celebrate very closely, because they are two days apart. Two days, 31 years, and ideals and ideals apart. In that period of time in my life, or rather  in their lives, they went head to head a lot. They bickered on a daily basis, and they casually would fight real bad, slamming doors, yelling at each other, insulting each other and all. Thank God, past my brother's rebellious years, all this stopped, and they love each other infinitely.
One day, during that same trip, my father and brother started fighting another one of those serious fights. I barely remember a thing, but I do remember yelling in the middle of the street. My brother, being the idiot he was, ran away from us. My mother, being the caring mother she is, ran after him. My father, being the idiot, the stubborn idiot he was, resulted to grunting and smoking (God bless him he's been smoking-free for a year). Me, being the four year old girl I was, and my sister, being the ten year old girl she was, sat in a bus station, watched the sun turn to rain, crying hysterically, because our brother might be gone for good this time. Again, I barely remember any of it at all, but I do remember the bus station was right next to a florist, and the florist saw we were crying, and I remember him in an apron, coming out to hand us a flower to cheer us up.
An hour goes by and my mother can't find my brother, until she sees him, hiding behind a bush in the park she's been raiding for an hour, and watching her look for him like a little bastard. She comes to him, almost crying (that woman has the strength of a pack of wolves), trying to explain to him that he should com. He doesn't come. Trying to tell him he isn't a French citizen, and the police will find him and take him away. He doesn't come. Trying to remind him he doesn't even speak French. He does not come.
Nevertheless, my mother is not one to give up (reminds me of someone......(me maybe?)). She comes back and grabs me. She takes me to him. I don't remember any of this at all. I tell him that we need him, that I need him. I tell him that we love him. That I love him. I cry. And then he hugs me. And he finally comes.
Ever since that day I know that he and I have special connection with my brother. My sister has always had it easier with my father, but with me and my brother, especially when we were younger, he would expect the world from us. He'd be really hard on us. He would be on my sister, too, hadn't he noticed that she doesn't take his crap much. I love my father infinitely, don't get me wrong. He's the best father I could have ever asked for. We have grown to know each other, and to respect each other more since we both did a little bit of growing up separately, but me and my brother always had to protect each other from his sudden bursts, and help the other one not take it to heart. Even with the nine years separating us, we'd still fend for each other all the time.
On Saturday, only two days ago, at around four in the afternoon, my mother got a call from my brother. My brother was crying to her, and I could hear it from the other room. When she hung up she told me and my father that were home, that my brother's girlfriend's father has died.
My brother and his girlfriend had been together for four years, now. Her father is relatively very old, because he's much older than her mother, and because it isn't his first marriage. He's been sick for many years with all sorts of things that come with age, and was getting better the past month, and my brother got to hang out with him a lot, got very attached to him. He was getting better, until he wasn't getting better anymore, and then he wasn't anymore.
I can't stand seeing any person cry in my presence, so when it was him, I basically broke down. I knew I shouldn't go see him right away, because he was crying, and I would start crying, and it wouldn't help him at all, and all I wanted was to  help him, to drench the pain away from him.
The man used to be Jewish, so his sister, who's the only sibling he had that is still alive, wanted to mourn him the way she knows. The family respected it fully, and they sat, after the burial on Sunday, in his house, and started the Shiva.
After talking to him yesterday, when I realized he's not crying anymore, at least not out loud, I decided to come to the Shiva today. When my parents went, my mother bearing tons of food, and my father trying his best to be supportive, I knew I had to  be there.
Walking into the house I realized just how much my brother needs me. His girlfriend's family is crazy. Not that they are bad people, on contrary, they are really great people, but they are as complicated as it gets. She, being 26 years old, had a brother who's 55 year's old. Each one of her parents has been married at least once before and they had kids. So on one side sits his sister, a religious Jewish woman that's very old, right next to her sits one of his children, a 55 year old gay man with his partner. Then the wife's friend, her best friend, who's been known to be controlling of  the couple's life, being a part of every decision making process in the house. And she, she is telling the wife she's not dealing with the death of her husband properly, and I am thinking, WOMAN! HER HUSBAND DIED TWO DAYS AGO, CAN YOU PLEASE JUST LAY DOWN THE JUDGEMENT?!
And then in the other side of the room, where we were sitting, my brother and his girlfriend were sitting, and their eyes hollow. I imagine the Shiva really did help some of the people. Some people, like the wife, talked so much that they didn't have time to think of the dead. Some people, like his son, were listening so hard to the noise in the background, they didn't have any time to think of any of it at all. But some, like my brother and his girlfriend, just needed to mourn in silence, alone.
And I ached. I ached really bad, because I know my brother. I know him. He is strong. He is fierce. He is amazingly capable of anything. But he is also a sensitive guy. A guy that gets attached very easily, and loves many people. He appreciates their kindness, wisdom, and respect.
So when he hugged me, and was hanging onto me as if in need for physical support, so weak he couldn't handle himself alone, I wanted to break down, curl up and cry. But I knew I couldn't, not there. I had no right to break down in front of his wife that's been holding in the tears since the moment he got sick. I don't get to cry in front of his children, I simply don't. So I hold it in. Even when I can't look him in the eyes too long 'cause they've been red and puffy from crying and sleep deprivation, even when he has to run around, exhausted, to host the people coming in by the hour, even when he talks on the phone and his voice cracks. I have to hold it in when his girlfriend's eyes are just as vacant, and even when they both try to force smiles on their faces, but it doesn't reach their eyes, even when I notice that his girlfriend, the most high-maintenance girl I know, was in no make-up for the first time since I first got to know her, holding onto her knees hugging them close to her, curling up into a ball, wanting to disappear. I don't break when I say goodbye to her mother and she's tearing up, whispering "thank you" words for my mom for bringing my brother into their lives. I don't even break down when he hugs me goodbye and hangs onto me and my father as if he's holding onto dear life. But the moment we're out the door, I burst into tears.
So here's the reason why I had trouble writing the past few days, but I had to get this off my chest.
Here's a song that's been getting me through the pain a little.  

"Woe in my head, my soul, my memory, my loving home, my family. I know they'll come for me if I need, if I need, for I see the love in you. It feeds me, it feeds me."

XOXO Roni J.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Drama Queen

Drama Queen

Warehouse sequin maxi dress
$68 -

Vintage shoes
$45 -

KOTUR crossbody handbag

Wing ring

Floral Reef

Floral Reef


Acne skinny leg jeans
$210 -

Green booties
$45 -

Mango jewelry

Round sunglasses

Coral Reef

Coral Reef

$68 -

Mary katrantzou

Brown sandals
$18 -

FOSSIL cross body handbag
$305 -

Floppy hat