Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Hello girls and boys(?)!
How are we today. Feeling extremely attracted to this guy and wondering whether this year is a year to change, and take a chance to try to have something, some type of relationship or what not with this guy.
The problem is... I get sooo nervous. I know this sounds cheesy, but I'm a nervous wreck around boys even if I don't show it to the world. I look cold, people think I'm a snob, but in all honesty I just hate looking weak. I hate being defenseless. I was kind of hoping for God to make some kind of magical trick, something like a wave of the wand that would make this attractive guy come into my life, and sweep me off my feet and put me off balance, but, seeing as things don't work that way for me, I think I might just have to find some attractive guy myself and put myself off that comfortable balance I have been on forever.
The thing is...... He stresses me out. I feel a certain discomfort around him, and.... I hate that feeling all the while I absolutely love it. His smile is addictive, quite toxic to be exact. He is sweet, and, although he has never clearly stated what he think about me, he keeps saying  that I'm perfect for some unclear reason.
On one hand, if he really thinks I am, then I might have a chance at it. On the other hand, though, if he thinks I am so perfect... It would be like puncturing his bubble. He gets to know me, and then realizes I am everything BUT perfect. And then again there's the chance that he does not mean it at all, which means he's either sarcastic or says things like that to girls on a regular basis in order to get them laid or whatever. Possible.
What do you think I should do? Is it time that I let go of my beloved balanced life in order to take a risk that might be the best thing I've ever done? Is it just a trick he's playing?

Outfit of Friday I think:  The dress is a dog print dress I got while in China. Yes, my hair is ombred. My shoes are the loafers my mother got me. Sunglasses are inspired by John Lennon from China, and I love them. The dress is too short on me, because I am a few inches taller than the average chinese woman so I put a body con skirt underneath so that if I bend over or sit I won't be showing my business to everybody that's out there.

Love you girls a lot. Take time to read the previous post, it would mean a lot to me. XOXO Roni J.

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