Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Well, I Have A Lot On My Heart

Dear, dear Fashionistas,
How've you been? I, well, I have been all over the place.
I don't know, maybe it's because it's "the moon's cycle", if you know what I mean, and I haven't actually been depressed or sad or anything, but I did have temper issues. I still had some really fun moments, but some people were just driving me insane. 
First I will start by talking about my best friend. We're literally like sisters, but we live far away from each other, so we rarely ever get to see each other, so our main way of communicating is through Facebook and other technologies of that sort. Let's just call her A. for short. I love her. I really do. She is an amazing person and she's so talented, but sometimes she just feel a little full of herself. She has this girl with whom she has been fighting with because she was jealous of A., and this other girl sounds, since I don't know her, less than friendly. A. tried talking over things with the girl she's been fighting with, E., which I appreciate greatly, and apparently it went great, but then she goes telling me that she doesn't get what E.'s boyfriend's doing with E. Seriously? Aren't you trying to mend things? Why screw this up? Just because you're stinking jealous? Therefore I tried talking her out of thinking so highly about herself over this E. girl, and I was like: "well, darling, do you think maybe the jealousy is mutual?", and she goes like "I don't posses jealousy". Who doesn't posses jealousy? I mean it's so human to be jealous, and although it might count as a sin in some religions or cultures, it is so freaking natural to be envious of someone, you know? I love her. I do, but sometimes she can't take criticism and admit to being speckled with flaws like all of us humans, and it bothers me, because I was raised to be selfless and humble.
Next vent is about how I went to this club yesterday, and obviously, since it is me, I wasn't drinking and I was really just looking forward to hanging out with the girls and dance and stuff, and then I forgot my I.D. Now, they have lots of publicists our age, and a few of them are friends of mine, so usually what happens if you forget your I.D. is that you talk to one of the publicists that know you're the right age, and they let you in, since they don't sell alcohol anyways. The only reason they do this anyways is so that young girls don't go mingling with really much older guys, and there aren't really much older guys there anyways, plus I am pretty darn tall, and I don't look like a middle school girl, thank God, so why won't you let me in like you usually do in those cases? But NO, they had to be stinky butts about it and take a whole lot of time away from my showing off my dance skills to the public for so stinking much money, only to find half an hour later, after standing in the cold in a skirt and a short sleeved top, that an older friend of mine who's 19 said that I AM the age of the rest of my friends that DID bring a stinking I.D. What the stinking crap?!
And last but not least, actually probably the most, is my semi-best guy friend we'll call G. Anyways, he has been inviting me and the rest of my girlfriends to hang out with the rest of his group of guys many times during the break. I am completely honest when I say this that this break all I wanted is to really TAKE A BREAK, and this, unfortunately for the way things turned out, includes a break from him. I love him, yet again, I really do. As I have said in previous blog posts I am much like a bird and I cannot be feeling like I am tied down or being held onto too tightly. I guess this is also my fault, but he was giving me a lecture about how he thinks that we, us girls, are avoiding them or whatever, and that we never go out with them anymore, and that we only go out to places where 12th graders are at, which is bull. He basically said that I was lying, and that "I just feel like hanging by myself at home" sounds like a lame excuse or whatever. I'm like a bird you guys, and this bird was feeling captured, and forced to be trained to behave the way he'd like me to, which are two of the most annoying things to me in humans. The sense that I would like to be domesticated by him, and bound by his rules of what I should be like sickens me, in fact. So I tried to explain to him that he's treating us girls like a herd of sheep when he says that we "all never show up", and that we "all have stupid excuses all the time", and that he has to "chase" us all the time. Seriously, what am I? My answer is a bird, and you're cutting off my feathers, and making my shine wear down. So at first I told him calmly "hey, listen, each one has her own reasons. I'm not like any of them and neither one of them is alike. Some of these excuses might be hiding some real problems, but he can't just talk to me and expect us all, as a herd, to now be obliged to say yes to every outing. Then, I got really flipping mad, because he was so in the idea he is right, that he wouldn't sharking listen to what I had to say, so, in order to not get hurt, I just went like "whatever man I was trying to help". This is what ticked me off the most, you know? I was really trying to help him.
Over all and on a much lighter note I did have a good week. I got to go cycling, and, even though I fell flat on my face, since we don't have cycling around here because it's so hilly, I really enjoyed being able to do it. I also visited a really good new friend of mine that lives far away, spend the night there, and have a girly night of talking and giggling and stuff.
Yesterday at the club was really nice, too. We went there a bunch of girls and just danced and didn't have a care in the world. It was also a confidence booster, because a lot of guys asked me to dance with them, and although I said no to most, because I was just looking for a drama-less night, it was nice to feel attractive, even if even the most unattractive girls got asked as much as I did and even more times or whatever. I also got to see many friends that have graduated or that I haven't seen in a long time, and it was really nice.
I fixed things with A., because I do care about her a lot, and I wouldn't like us fighting over stupid girls who make her angry, and surely not to become a stupid girl who makes her angry. As I've said the night at the club was pretty darn great after all, and with G., well, I'll just see where this goes, but since it's fairly fresh right now, I wouldn't want to speak out of anger you know?
So here are the outfits of this week that I haven't shown you:

This one's from when we shot a documentary for film studies: 
 I wore this dress from Zara, I'm pretty sure, that's in between a maxi and a midi which is good for spring when it's still a little cool outside. It's really body con and form fitting, so, if you're feeling insecure about your small booty or too big of a booty, then you probably shouldn't wear it, but I don't care my bum is really big and my boobs are not as big as they should be on a girl as tall as I am, but I don't give a crap, and essentially I got many compliments on it.
It did get pretty darn called so I took my black oversized sweater in case it gets cold outside.
I took a small handbag my mom and dad got me when they were in London, which is awesome of them.
I also wore my American Eagle sandals that have sneak print and olive green and black straps to them, to keep it looking a little more summery, and my only other accessory, accept for the bag, was my hombre colored sunglasses that I got when I visited my old town, a while ago, October maybe, for free, which was awesome.
To give the outfit a little color, I wore a new lipstick my mother got me for spring, which I'll review soon, that is a really nice coral color. By the way, sorry for my hand looking all bashed, but I fell off a bike, so I think you'll forgive me. 

The next is what I wore to the club yesterday:
 I wore no accessories at all, accept for my rings, because when I'm dancing I don't like being bothers about any accessories falling off and stuff.
I wore my tribal print shirt from Urban Outfitters that I absolutely adore since it's so light breezy, so it's not hot to dance with it, there's barely any sweat, but it does slide off the shoulders really easily, which bothers me.
I wore it with a skirt that's bright tangerine orange, a color that's really in this season, from Topshop. It's mini length on me, because I have extra long legs, but on other people it would probably be midi, I think. It's pleated, which I love because it looks great whilst dancing. I wore it with a belt that I make from a not-used-for-shoes-yet-shoelace, which makes it look like a bow, and me look like a little wrapped present. I didn't take a photo of the shoes I wore, but they're the shoes I was wearing today.

Speaking about today:

Today I was just going for a session of tutoring so I wore this:
So the shoes I wore, both today and yesterday night were these Aldo black sandals that I wear to death and beyond and are falling apart.
The shirt is from Zara, pants are from a local boutique, but I saw something really similar in Zara as well. The bag is from Urban Outfitters, and I wore it with the back straps, but it can also be worn as a cross body satchel, or just straight up on one shoulder.

That's it darlings, sorry it is indeed so long, but I've skipped a few days and had a lot to say. I have been introduced to this next song by my love to Sia, which I've been listening to for almost two years now, I think. It's really not my usual taste of music, but it's lyrics and Sia's voice are both just amazing. If you do know this song, but haven't checked Sia out yet, then this is another song by her that I love.
XOXO Roni J.

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