Now Is The Start

Hello cutie patooties!
Guess what? I have started my senior year. SENIOR FREAKING YEAR! It's my 12th time starting school for the 12th year in a row. It feels weird. It feels different, as cliche as I thought that might be. This year is going to be remembered by me as the most fun I've ever had, and I will not let anybody or anything ruin this feeling for me. I am absolutely loving it. Being the oldest at school and teasing all the tiny little freshmen through juniors.

I am gonna have the time of my life this year. I'm not leaving this as anybody else's responsibility. I will make things happen, and in the best way possible.
Speaking of Now is the start, I cannot wait for two albums coming out in October. One is Tay Swift's Red (the one she has only recently released its first single called We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together , and Pines, which is A Fine Frenzy's new creation, which holds within it the beautiful cheerful song- Now Is The Start.
If you like these songs you should definitely check the albums as soon as they come out (Red- October 22nd and Pines- October 9th).

Speaking of new things!!! I just got a beautiful sweater from Pull and Bear that I love dearly, a tank top from H&M I love so much I named it Melissa (no reason), and an evil eye ring from a little shack at the mall.
The sweater is one of my favorite things ever. It's such a good layering piece for the fall/winter season, if you pop a button up underneath. It runs a bit big in sizes, because it's extra slouchy. I am usually size M and I took S, because it fit perfectly, and it doesn't make you look round or wider because of the stripes, and is quite figure flattering (hopefully when the weather cools down I will show it in an outfit of the day. It is not made out of wool, which makes it less warm. It is 50% cotton and 50% acrylic.
The tank top is the most amozing (yes, amOzing) shade of nude that fits my skin tone perfectly (olive-y), because of it's pinkish undertones. It is superdy duperdy figure flattering especially with a stretchy camisole underneath that tucks your belly in a little (we all have pouch days or kangaroo days).

The ring is just the piece of jewelery I've been waiting for a long long time. I am such a jewelery junky. I have far more cheap and expensive jewelery than I will ever need, but I still gravitate towards that sections in  every store more than any other department. The ring though, unlike many of the jewelery I've bought recently, is something I know I will be wearing for a long long time. It is such a beautiful unique piece I know most people won't have, and it is probably going to appear in my favorites in a few days.
Love you all, and take care :) XOXO Roni J.

The Sky Is The Limit

Hey hey :)
With it being soon the beginning of a new school year, I wanted to tell you that you can achieve anything.

Aim as high as possible, and try and reach for the stars. There are so many unbelievable things people have achieved by dreaming and aiming higher and higher. Who would have thought human kind would fly or walk the moon? Who would have thought that women would get rights anywhere? Who would have known we'd be able to communicate with people who live on the other side of the planet?
We, we are majestic creatures. We, we are capable of anything. I just wish we'd all take that sentence and use it for the best of humanity and the best of this earth. We, we can make pigs fly (enter swine flu joke right here).
So, this year, let's make those pigs fly and those dreams go as high as possible. We've all got so much in store for us. We can all contribute so much, and give back to this earth, and to its population.
This will become a new thing where every once in a while I will put a list of limited addition things I would love to have. <3 This time nail polishes.

1) Pinch Punch nail polish by Louise Gray for Topshop! Not only is the color stunning, but I also think that the formula on Topshop polishes is amazing. At first glance I thought it looked like the color of the Divine Swine from the Muppets' collection for OPI, but it is much more of a coral peach salmon color, where as Divine Swine is mucho mas of a purple. I also love the packaging of it.

2) Chanel's Rose Paradise is next. It's such a beautiful color. I cannot express in words. It is quite summery, but I find it really subtle, and therefore versatile for every occasion and season. So classy, and amazing. It's again a salmon-y color, much like some of the flecks of glitter in the Pinch Punch nail polish. I do hear these tend to chip a lot, so see if you would like to invest.

 3)Into The Night from the Amazing Spiderman collection by OPI. Amazing midnight blue with speckles of glitter. Perfection in my opinion. It is very comparable to another limited edition by China Glaze called Want My Bawdy from their New Bohemian collection.

 4)Another very beautiful color, this time from Essie's Fall collection, is Stylenomics.  It is a beautiful forest green. It looks exactly like the Crayola Forest Green, but with more of a blue tone to it.

)Last, but definitely not least is the Holland collection from OPI. Yes, the collection. Not one. The whole collection. Amazing fall colors that vary from pinks and blues and grays and greens. Gorgeous! Favorites are Thanks A WindMillion, which is a seaweed green. AMAZING!
Another favorite is Didn't You Ear About Van Gogh, which looks like the perfect nude color for every skin tone.



Hope you enjoy the song by Feist-There's A Limit To Your Love. Have a great weekend :) <3 XOXO Roni J.

Just A Kiss

Hello!
Yet again haven't written in ages. I find it really hard to write when I'm not straight out pouring the words out of my finger tips to you. I need a little bit of inspiration, and I keep asking for it, hoping it will come.
Well, my inspiration has arrived in Roni J.'s wacko town. Am I happy about it? Can't say I am.
I feel rejected. It took me a whole lot of time to admit it, but it's not my heart that's hurting, it's my dear ego and pride.

Being as competitive as I am has it's perks. You always demand more of yourself and therefore achieve higher goals as you go along.
Other than that most is crap. People hate competitive people. You always mock yourself for not achieving something and once you achieve it you're already on the way to achieve a new goal and so caught up in it that you forget to congratulate yourself, and more so, you simply forget to rest.
I was just starting to write a post about how I hate being ungrateful or sounding ungrateful, or ungrateful people in general, bu now I realize how stupid that would be and how hypocritical it would be to say that considering I am never thankful and grateful for what I have accomplished in life. And I mean this in the most modest way, I have achieved a lot.
A few days ago I was on a little seminar thing with the guy from the past (we'll call him Bob for the sake of my hands writing the guy that I liked for a year ten times at least in the post), and some other people obviously, it wasn't much of a romantic retreat. That guy is the guy I was (or still am.... whatever) hung up on for more than a year. I've had a break from him thanks God. I already felt like I was slowly healing, and forgiving, and realizing that he, as a target, will not be achieved and that there will be another target, like always.
I saw him, and it all went fairly well. I felt like I could connect to other guys. I felt like we were friendly to each other, when usually we keep ridiculing each other all the time. I mean we were watching a movie, and me, with my overly empathetic way to live, cried my eyes out, literally worrying almost everybody, because they are not used to seeing me cry about my own pain. I usually really don't, surely not in public, but when we watched the movie and it was other people's pain displayed on the screen and a mother leaving her son and all that I couldn't hold myself and I cried, quietly, but cried. He actually had the decency to be a friend and tell me not to cry and that it's not real and all that, which doesn't really help my crying once a kid is crying on the screen, but it was friendly and genuine. Later on during the movie him and his best friend were sitting in the row in front of me and his best friend asked me to play with his hair ( not like it's long, because if it were I wouldn't), so I did, and he saw that and asked me to play with his hair, as well, which I didn't mind either one of them. I mean I felt like we were both showing each other in small gestures that we should move on from the weird hatred we had.
AND THEN. Oh, sweet mother of pearl, THEN, I talked to a fairly new friend of mine, who, therefore, didn't know much about my past and present love life, and I told her I have never been kissed. If you didn't already know, then here's the truth. I am 17 years old, in quite the modern open society, and I have never been kissed. She has a boyfriend and has already had sex and such crap, so she was surprised by this especially because she thinks I'm like this perfect girl for some reason.
Then she was wondering if there's anybody on my mind currently, so I told her there was, and that since I've gotten over him I decided not to jump ahead into another unhealthy- nonexistent relationship. She asked for his name, and since her boyfriend is that same guy friend that is best friends with Bob, she is very close to Bob, as well, so she said "Wow I'm impressed by the choice", and I jumped right in to tell it wasn't that impressive considering that for the most part he kind of hated me, and we really hadn't shared a serious talk ever in this life time. Therefore I told her what I keep telling myself he might really be the most charming person, but he's not my prince charming.
Well, this is not the THEN I was intending on, but THEN, oh sweet roasted chicken and ham sandwich, she went on telling me that he is now some other girl's prince charming and that hit me right in my nonexistent nuts. It basically was a blow below the belt that left me... Shocked.
He has never, and I do mean NEVER, been in a relationship. Turning him into prince charming means..... Means that she tamed the unruly beast. That, and that I didn't. She did the impossible, which was what I had convinced myself with that I have no chance with him, meaning my big bang and you're out theory was destroyed.
That's where my competitiveness comes out. The thought keeps racing through my head. Why her? Why is she the one to be able to tame the beast. I keep comparing us, and then I say she's smarter, but not as wise, she's sweet, but she's easy, she's pretty, but I am better looking, and blah blah blah. What the hell?!
Why can't i be happy for him that he finally found someone that sweet and smart and all that she is, and that he finally could love a girl enough to give up that crap asshole personality that he had before, and possibly helped him be nicer to me. Why the hell am I jealous or envious of her? I know that I'm far far better than she is, in most things that is, so would I really dare be ungrateful for everything I have, and everything I am just so that I can't get my mockery over and done with for the fact that I didn't achieve Bob's taming as a goal? What about the goal to find a better guy? What about the goal I had to be a better less judgmental person? What about the goal to stop being ungrateful for what I have and start seeing that I have everything anyone could ever ask for, except for maybe a love life, but if you really look at it hard I would rather be without a love life than without any other thing in my life.

So here's me giving up one goal that I had in the past. I decided that once I post this post the old me's dead and gone. I won't be mad at myself, I won't be mad at him, I won't envy her, I will move on and start my senior year fresh instead of going over this shit over and over and over again, which quite frankly has become boring to me. So here's me moving on. Here's a beautiful cover of Bob Dylan's Don't Think Twice It's All Right by Ed Sheeran. Describes my feelings I have for him exactly and won't have anymore.

Working 8 To 3 (July Favorites)

Hello hello pretty girls. And boys. Are there any boys and the crowd. If so, will you please stand up so we can see you? Just kidding. It's the computer. How will I see you?!
Sorry, I'm having a little bit of a nervous break down as I have been getting back from China, which I will tell you all about in a different post (sorry I have a lot on my heart), then I got snatched up by my father to replace his secretary who's traveling to all sorts of places at the moment even though I was sick (probably caught something on the plane), then got snatched up by a friend's acquaintance to walk her dog every evening, and soon my uncle needs me to kittysit his cat.
I am swomped! I haven't even fully gotten over whatever bug I got on the flight and already I have not one, not two, but three jobs, and the amount of will power I have right now stands at about the amount of will power it takes to sit on the couch all day, or, when I really am feeling better, the amount of will power it takes to go to the beach with my friends. It's summer vacation for crying out loud. Why did I ever agree to this?

I do have to admit, though, that all of these things are really for the better. I mean I don't do enough sports activities as is, so walk the dog is a really nice daily sport, and that cute little puppy is just so worth the time. I mean, if I have to spend an hour with anyone, I am really happy it's with this puppy and not a list of many other people I would go nuts after only walking with them once, and surely after doing so every day of the week for at least the rest of the summer break.

And the office job, although hard, is a lot of money for me and for my trip to Poland very soon, it helps me spend more time with my busy busy daddy, whom I've missed very much while being away for two weeks, and it teaches me some basic life skills. Nonetheless, I hate this job.

The kittysitting is really getting money for nothing, I feed the cat, give it water, change it's sand in what I like to call it the "oops I did it again" box, and I get to help my uncle which is a great man that has helped me so much over the years with math and chem.

Over all it is quite a positive thing to be working, and I do get to earn some money for myself rather than keep asking my parents for it. They know I work hard at school and come home from school very late, so they never say no, but I know that with both my trips, and my sister being abroad, and my brother's studies, and their up comming trip, I really don't want to put more weight on their shoulders.
It does suck though when everybody is going out and I have to be the Debby Downer and tell them that I have work in the morning over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and ova, and ova, and ova again.

Now that this is off my chest I can make some room for the more important stuff. The things I would spend all the money I'm earning right now over and over and over again. MYYY favorites. *Sigh of relief*

* For starters, as I have yet to make a haul of the things I bought while in China this is something you haven't seen yet. I actually didn't buy it in China. I bought it while I was in the duty free here, but it is a new Mac lipstick. I love me some lipsticks, and you know it, but lately I have been using my old-er ones much much less. It is the one, the only, cremesheen finish of a pink deliciousness, On Hold.

It is very pigmented. Slightly frightening for the woman who goes for nudes, but it is the most gorgeous shade of pink, especially suitable for people with blue or green undertones to their skin like, well, me (olive tones and stuff). It goes on smoothely like all of the cremesheens, is moisturizing, and for me it doesn't wear off very quickly, either. Very recommended. Have been wearing that and my friend's Russian Red almost the entire stay in China. Must get Russian Red. It's stunning.

* Another favorite for this month are my Birkestocks. I walked around in those everywhere, all the time, in China and back home. They are super duper comfortable shoes. They are good for almost everyday activity, this color (olvie suede) is indistructable and suits every outfit. I just love love love these. They were my go to shoe and I brought so many more pairs, but just didn't use them.

* My favorite song of the month of July must must be Hey Jude by the Beatles (duhh). While saying goodbye to everybody we've met in China we heard this song play in the background and now it shall forever remind me of the time I've had. I have always liked it, but now that it relates to all that happened at camp.... It's just a whole new song. Plus! They sang it in the opening ceremony for the Olympics. BEST THING EVERR! Love the Olympics.

*Next favorite is.... How surprising, the Olympics. I love watching all of the sports played out, and although I think it is basically legal torture of humans, it is very entetaining. I do, however, feel really bad for those who get hurt, or look like they had to go through hell and back to get to where they got, or those who's coaches give them the evil eye once they fail. Congratulations to all the winners so far. As you know I'm also a fan of ancient Greece so this just adds a little something something to my craving of Greek history. Glad It's not over yet.

*Favorite sport in the Olympics, by the way, is beach volleybal. I love volleyball to pieces and the beach volleyball makes it all the more summery and fun. Wish I had a spot on the beach where I could play beach volleyball.

* My favorite thing to wear this month, and every summer month, are DRESSES. So airy and comfortable to slip into, not sweaty, girly, and chic.

*Favorite place in the world currently is the fake market in Shanghai. Oh what a place. So many beautiful things. I didn't buy much, though. I bought a lot but considering the price I am really proud of my self. I also loved bargaining with the sales people. SO much fun. SO MUCH FUN. It is a problem for shopoholics though. It gets addictive.

Have a great day you guys. Take a sad song and make it better! <3 XOXO Roni J.