Thursday, October 11, 2012

Go Get It!

Hello hello girls!
How are we? I hope we are all well.
I need a change in life. I have always listened to my head. I am very rational. I have never given my heart or rather the emotional part of my thoughts take over and lead me. I am quite tired of being afraid of being hurt, and therefore going with my head and getting myself as far away from a crash (or crush) as possible. I am such a frightened little wimp, and I am quite sick of myself at this point. Does anybody have any fucking idea how flipping tiring it is to be fighting yourself and what you want in your head all the time. People might think I yawn a lot because I don't get enough sleep or because I'm bored, but no. I am tired, because I have to fight myself off all the time. It is just exhausting. 
I want something to change in me when I go to sleep tonight. I want to wake up and have the courage to go up to the guy I like currently like (if Bob was the last one, then we'll name this one Ben)- Ben, and say "hi" like any normal girl would, maybe even hug him, and to not be so shy around him or anyone I'm attracted to anymore.
I literally act like they are fire, and that I need to quickly toss the idea of them otherwise I might melt or burn. What girl in her right mind is so afraid of the very people she's attracted to that she has the strange need to take her feet with her and run like she was in a Scooby Doo movie? Like some monster, ghost, vampire, or at least a brain eating heart stealing zombie. What the crap?! Am I insane?!
Now in order to make this a gradual tan, so that I don't get ugly tan lines or get burnt (or in other way a gradual change so that my heart isn't broken, and that I really go through with it) I have to build a plan. As I have been taught by some very smart people in the past, in order to achieve a goal there's a list of things you need this goal to have. These five things were put into an acronym called S-M-A-R-T. 
This goal has to have these five factors: 
S = Specific- the goal has to be very specified. I need to know what I need or want to achive.

M = Measurable- the goal has to have the ability to have been measured through the course of the assignment. If I can't measure them, how will I know when I have reached my goal.

A = Attainable- it has to be something that can be achieved. I'm guessing this is where you realize riding a unicorn might not be it.
R = Realistic- yet again the unicorn might not be the best choice here. 

T = Timely- something that can be limited by a period of time. 

Now, I thought about it and tried to think if my goal has it all. Then I realized, I don't know what my goal is. Is it to have my first kiss already? No, I find it desperate. Is it the specific guy? If so, what do I want from him. I just have to be really honest with myself, and figure out what I want before I even think whether it is realistic or timely or whatever, because without a goal, you can't really decide those things.
I will go think about my goals a little. This obviously applies to every goal in life: work, school, friends, diet. Hope you find it helpful, and talk to you soon <3
XOXO Roni J.
Couldn't really find a song to match today's topic, but it's somewhat fitting, and I love it so very much. Hope you enjoy it!

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