Go Get It!

Hello hello girls!
How are we? I hope we are all well.
I need a change in life. I have always listened to my head. I am very rational. I have never given my heart or rather the emotional part of my thoughts take over and lead me. I am quite tired of being afraid of being hurt, and therefore going with my head and getting myself as far away from a crash (or crush) as possible. I am such a frightened little wimp, and I am quite sick of myself at this point. Does anybody have any fucking idea how flipping tiring it is to be fighting yourself and what you want in your head all the time. People might think I yawn a lot because I don't get enough sleep or because I'm bored, but no. I am tired, because I have to fight myself off all the time. It is just exhausting. 
I want something to change in me when I go to sleep tonight. I want to wake up and have the courage to go up to the guy I like currently like (if Bob was the last one, then we'll name this one Ben)- Ben, and say "hi" like any normal girl would, maybe even hug him, and to not be so shy around him or anyone I'm attracted to anymore.
I literally act like they are fire, and that I need to quickly toss the idea of them otherwise I might melt or burn. What girl in her right mind is so afraid of the very people she's attracted to that she has the strange need to take her feet with her and run like she was in a Scooby Doo movie? Like some monster, ghost, vampire, or at least a brain eating heart stealing zombie. What the crap?! Am I insane?!
Now in order to make this a gradual tan, so that I don't get ugly tan lines or get burnt (or in other way a gradual change so that my heart isn't broken, and that I really go through with it) I have to build a plan. As I have been taught by some very smart people in the past, in order to achieve a goal there's a list of things you need this goal to have. These five things were put into an acronym called S-M-A-R-T. 
This goal has to have these five factors: 
S = Specific- the goal has to be very specified. I need to know what I need or want to achive.

M = Measurable- the goal has to have the ability to have been measured through the course of the assignment. If I can't measure them, how will I know when I have reached my goal.

A = Attainable- it has to be something that can be achieved. I'm guessing this is where you realize riding a unicorn might not be it.
  
R = Realistic- yet again the unicorn might not be the best choice here. 

T = Timely- something that can be limited by a period of time. 

Now, I thought about it and tried to think if my goal has it all. Then I realized, I don't know what my goal is. Is it to have my first kiss already? No, I find it desperate. Is it the specific guy? If so, what do I want from him. I just have to be really honest with myself, and figure out what I want before I even think whether it is realistic or timely or whatever, because without a goal, you can't really decide those things.
I will go think about my goals a little. This obviously applies to every goal in life: work, school, friends, diet. Hope you find it helpful, and talk to you soon <3
XOXO Roni J.
Couldn't really find a song to match today's topic, but it's somewhat fitting, and I love it so very much. Hope you enjoy it!

Change.

Hello ladies,
How are you?
I am doing fairly well. The only things that's bringing me down is that my sister is out of the country for 3 months and I really miss her, but, as long as I hear that she's doing well, I don't really mind it.
Today I sort of wanted to talk to you about the one thing most of us fear the most around this time of year. Bikinis. *Scary music in the background followed by a high pitched yelp*. Yours truly also has some insecurities about herself (if not a high score at insecurities and low self esteem), but as always I'm trying my best to make a change.
I have decided to stop complaining and start loving the way I am or acting up. You see, the more we tell ourselves we're not good enough, not pretty enough, not cute enough, not sexy enough, too tall, too fat, too bootylicious, the more we believe ourselves and the less motivation we have to change it, and the less we are capable of loving ourselves, because we make ourselves believe that it's engraved in who we are, that it couldn't be changed even if we wanted to.
My definition of love is accepting one's flaws and embracing them. It doesn't only apply on loving other people. Make it apply to how you feel about yourself. 
So no, this time of year you won't find me grieving over the fact that my chest is too small or that my hips don't lie. I have decided that no one is going to change how I feel about myself but myself. I have also decided that I have no right to complain, and that if I feel like complaining about something that can be changed, I will change it rather than complain, and that if I feel like hating myself for something that cannot be changed in the present or in the near future, I better start accepting it the way it is.
Some of you might think I'm stupid while others will agree, but my biggest insecurity about my appearance, I would think, is my legs. Not only are they scarred like crazy from years of falling on my knees, getting scratched by my cat or shaving mistakes (OUCH), but I also have a real issue with their shape.
So this is something doable. I have decided this is my goal for the month of June. My friend who used to swim competitively will help me with dry land work outs that she used to do when she was on the team, and I will slowly strengthen my thighs so that I feel more comfortable with them. At the end of the months, after doing a routine hopefully everyday, I will tell you how it went and if I really stuck to my decision.
I suggest you join me and pick an insecurity of yours that you can gradually change over the course of next month and share your feelings with me, too!

Take inspiration from everything you see to inspire everyone you know. Enjoy this song by Keane- "Everybody's Changing". Have A great weekend. XOXO Roni J.