Friday, October 19, 2012


Hello hello girls.
How is your week ending? Hope that well. If not you should remember that it is soon to be over with, and when the next week starts you will be ready to accept it with your arms wide open, or as John Legend says in his song Someday "For today my eyes are open, my arms are raise for your embrace, my hands are here to mend what is broken, to feel again the warmth of your face".
Ah how I love this song.
I donated blood today. I am proud of it, very. Not only did it make me feel exceptionally good about my being, and about helping society just like most good doings, but it has also made me physically feel exceptionally good, which is weird considering that they withdrew 17 ounces or half a litter from my body, and I was really high and happy all day for some reason. It made me calm down, and feel relaxed and eased, and just happy. It was the weirdest feeling. People said I looked a little high, which I would never ever be. Anyways, I really recommend doing it once a every three months. It is also very healthy for renewing your blood cells.
Ben (the fictional name to this guy I like) and I have no progress. As usual, I am stuck. I did, however, tell one of my best friends that I like him after having a debate with myself whether I should or not, seeing as she's one of his really good friends. She took it quite well, unexpectedly shall I say, and she said that the more she thinks about it the reason he's been looking around at younger girls, and hooking up with everything that moves is because of his low self esteem, which is a well known fact, and that she thinks that he kept telling her that I'm perfect (I've heard him say that before. Excitement.), and that she thinks I fit his type (Gorgeous isn't it?!). She said that if I do something about it there's a chance that someday... Something in me got even more nervous thinking that there's even a chance that he might ever like me. Hence I get more nervous around him. Freak of nature. I know.
I do however smile like a fool when I think about him. I literally caught myself smiling like a fool while thinking about him today as I took a glimpse at myself in one of the car's window's reflection. A stupid smile creeps onto my face when thinking about him, and makes my cheeks warm up. I know it sounds stupid, but it's quite a good feeling. I don't think that's what happened with Bob, and this lasted about a year.
I want to act upon it, but I.. Just never have. What if I do it awkwardly, and he starts laughing in the middle. I might start a shock episode, because I am soooo nervous. What a train wreck. You know what the funny thing is? I may or may not have mentioned it, but I've done way scarier things in life like staying in a different country at my friends' houses for a whole half year when I was only 14. Why is it that the thought of even talking to Ben scares me so much? Maybe someday I will act. See the theme here?
Something else that this friend of mine said, which meant a lot to me is that I'm way out of his league, and not the opposite, which I will probably never believe, but it was heart warming to know that's what she thinks, and even that it's what she thinks he feels about me. Maybe.
I hope that I finally get the courage to get closer to him, and that I'm not completely tiring you all out with my non-existent love stories.
Have a great weekend! <3 Loads and loads of love. XOXO Roni J. Talk to you SOMEDAY soon.
P.S. If there's any question you have, please do contact me through the contact information listed in the contact me page.

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