Saturday, September 29, 2012

Off I Go

Hey there!
How is everybody? Me? I'm doing great. I miss my parents who are on vacation very much, and there's literally nobody home, but I, myself, am flying out tonight with my friends on a delegation. Yes, I know it's been about two months only since my last time ad that these are crazy a splurges, but that's why I'm not yet learning to drive. I find that I care about opportunities like these more than I care about driving as of now.
I'm packed already with the fines of my winters clothes that have been praying to break out of their dusty spots in my closet. It has even started raining outside which is just lovely.
Last night we went to a party. It was loads of fun we found a 100 bill so we could pay for the way back home with it which was awesome. We danced until our backs and feet were throbbing. A few of my new guy friends danced with us, and this made me really glad that I gave up trying to fit in with another group of guy friends last year. This seems to be the right choice as they wouldn't even say hi to me yesterday and the new group were so sweet and danced with us and stuff. This goes to show how much I've changed in order to be myself.
The guy I've told you about a few posts back then tries to say hi to me exactly when I turned around which then resulted in me seeming like I didn't want to say hi to him which we all know couldn't be more false, and he pretended to be offended which I, then, didn't know why. That is until my friend told me what had just happened. On one hand I feel bad for not saying hi. On the other hand it feels really good to know he noticed me more than he had noticed any one of the other girls. On the very last hand, though, he was drunk I'm afraid. Now I am not delusive. I know that most guys these days drink and smoke. He doesn't smoke which is already an up side, but I still am hoping to find someone who's both attractive to me, yet doesn't fool around with these things which to me seem absolutely (haha name of alcoholic beverage) pointless and stupid but who am I to judge. I haven't yet come close to even kiss a guy because I'm so idealistic, a fact of which I'm proud of at times, but also prevented me this far from having a romantic relationship with someone who's really attractive to me.
Here's the big fight I have with myself basically every day. Should I give up my far high standards and maybe get to be with a guy who I'm attracted to or should I fight for my morals so I don't regret giving them up, but feel like maybe I've missed out on being with someone that's really great. As of now, sticking with my morals has been picked over and over considering I'm a big fat fried chicken so even if I gave up my morals I probably wouldn't have done anything as well as seeing that if I gave up my morals I really wouldn't bid someone that great. To be great he has to withstand my standards.
Hope this wasn't too much of a blabber. Talk to you as soon as I get back.
XOXO Roni J.

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