A French Kiss

It all started two nights ago. That weird kind of feeling that God is playing a practical joke on you and you can't help but laugh with him, because it is freaking hilarious. Things that you never knew were even an option, things you never ever dared think might happen in your future are starting to unravel.

We were talking in our WhatsApp group about how lonely and old we are, and bitter we are about our love life. My friend, Ginger, started talking about how much she wants to find someone, and another friend, Curly Fries, told her to be with a guy friend of ours, Baron, with whom Ginger had been a few months back. 

Baron used to live abroad, and he had met two friend there. These friendships have lasted 13 years, through borders and miles and miles apart. These two guys, Blondie and Frenchie, came over to visit Baron before they all head to college. 

When Curly Fries suggested that Ginger be with Baron, she added "and you could have a threesome with him and with Frenchie. 

I had met both Frenchie and Goldie a week ago so very briefly during a hangout with the rest of the group of our friends, but not being too close to Baron, not since the end of ninth grade when we were separated in our homeroom classes, I didn't talk to them much at all. I could sense, though, that Frenchie was paying me special attention when we talked for a second, and kind of rushed the thought out of my mind. By the way, he's French and a complete hottie. 

When Curly Fries made the threesome I jokingly said "Ginger, you have Baron, and I will have Frenchie". God knows nothing that I say jokingly will ever end up doing what I had meant for it to do. Sometimes it ends up kicking me in the behind so hard I fall over, sometimes it's just the start of something new. 

Instead of just being this stupid, harmless comment that I made, Miss Curly Fries decided to send a picture of it to Baron. Not because of what I had said, but because of what Ginger said. Baron sees this, and from then on Curly Fries and him try to set me up with this good looking French guy I barely know anything about. 

And I am in the middle of a big family dinner, laughing so hard. Is God 

freaking joking? Is he serious? Since when do I get set up with a hot French guy. Later on it also turns out that Frenchie WAS, in fact, eyeing me that first night we had met, so Baron knew that he was interested in me before I even made the comment. A good looking, well educated, beautiful, French guy, is, finding, me, attractive!? Common, where are the cameras big guy? Where you hiding at? 

Baron and Curly Fries promise to arrange a date and I automatically get nervous as hell, even though, in reality, I'm pretty damn sure nothing will really happen, and Baron and I are not necessarily the bestest of friends, so why would he set me up with his literally best childhood friend that has only ten more days in this country? Especially when he knows how much of a prude I am. 

Last night I'm in my head gear already, still in my clothes, but so fucking ready to get to bed its not even funny. I am meters of taking my dress off, and then I get a text from Curly Fries that another girl, Wave, and she are on their way to pick me up to go over to Baron's house to have a group date just so that Frenchie and I could maybe run into the chance of being together. My heart starts beating mad. Like. Insane. I think I need to get that checked out because freaking Superman doesn't run as fast as my heart was beating. 

I get ready quickly not putting too much effort, because I don't want to stress myself out even more, or get my hope higher than they already are. 

We get to Baron's garage that he turned into his room with a ping pong table, and a pool table and we play some and I am shy and not talkative and Baron makes his little kid comments about how I should ask Frenchie to teach me to play pool because I am TERRIBLE. And I am already stressed out enough and want to go home and give up because I have work in the morning and its already 2am for crying out loud, and I'm embarrassed and scared and want to just let it go, it's not like it's believable that anything would ever happen between me and him. 

And then Baron says he's not going to let me go home unless I walked out with Frenchie. And I insist. Baron, no! Baron, I'm just humiliating myself! And we speak in the local language, thank goodness, so Frenchie doesn't understand what we're saying but he knows what I came there for, and can hear the tone of things, so I guess he knew the direction of things. 

And then Baron gets closer and looks at me and says "you know just how shy I am with girls. You know how long it took me to kiss a girl, and, you ladies, still scare me like shit. I told him it's your first kiss and that you're going to be freaking out about it (why does Baron know I have never been kissed will remain a mystery forever), and he knows and he really wants you. He really really does. You can see him looking at you. Common, just one leap of faith, once. And then after that it just gets better and easier". I almost started tearing up, and almost called the Noble Prize headquarters for him. I was shocked by how genuine and sweet he was, and by how much he was really just trying to help me out. 

I was convinced mainly because I wanted to go home, but also because what Baron said played that one right note in my head. And I walked out. 

A few seconds later he walks out. We walk around the neighborhood and talk for way longer than I had initially planned. And he knows how stressed out I am so he doesn't try anything we just walked and talked. And he made me as comfortable as I could be when I'm such a stress case. Then get back to Baron's house, and us girls leave. 

The moment we leave Baron sends me a message saying that Frenchie wants to do it again sometime before he leaves and I agree. 

So joke well played, God. I love you. You're wonderful. And so are you my loves. We'll see maybe this is like Grease and we'll have a summer romance. Maybe not. Let's keep our expectations down, and see if this French kiss is meant to be. XOXO Roni J. 

July Flew By

And so did the rest of this summer. I can't believe that in two weeks I'll be heading to college to start the rest of my life. So far away from everything that I know, and love. So far away from everything that's familiar and home to me.
I will be beginning this year far away from home, in the dorm room with two to three new girls that I barely even know. I will have to get used to their faults and their flaws, and will have to fit my flaws, and my faults to them. And after all this hard work, when I get back home once every two weeks for the weekend, when I'm tired, and just need to rely on something comfortable and familiar, my momma is not going to be here.
I have said goodbye to my momma after a two week long journey with both my parents in the entirety of Norway, which is one of the most insanely beautiful spectacular places I have ever been to. It was incredible for both the beautiful landscapes of waterfalls, and lakes, and fjords, and just water in general. God, they have so freaking much water it's not even funny, but also for the beautiful cities they have there like Oslo, Bergen, and Alesund, every single one of which is unique for its own reasons, and its architecture, which you must know is one of my favorite things in the world, and one of the things I find the most beautiful to see in different cities and countries. Some of my favorite places include the beautiful Viking Museum in the outskirts of Oslo. I am usually not a museum person at all, but those freaking Viking ships are freaking incredible. Such elegant woodwork was done on these ships with so many decorative intricate detailing that I almost peed my pants out of pure joy. Another lovely lovely place was the city of Bergen, which is all the way out in the west of Norway, and the old pier that they have restored and placed some stores in. It's just so goddamn beautiful. I also found this adorable freaking cafe in a street called Lille Ovregaten, that's both a cafe and a book store. So beautifully designed, really good coffee, amazing baked goods, some homely, amazing smell of cinnamon, spices, and coffee. If you ever pass by Bergen by any chance, just run there. It's inspired me to want to open a similar place in the future maybe. Making people fall back in love with books, music, and the small beautiful things in life. There's also a very good restaurant called Zupperia in Bergen that makes amazing soup dishes that are so freaking big, and so freaking tasty and heart warming on a rainy day. I have never in my life tasted a clam chowder so delicious.
Alesund is another beautiful city all made out of stone buildings because of a fire that burnt the city down to the ground. Not only is the architecture absolutely beautiful, but they have amazing fish and chips, an adorable glass workshop, and and an amazing little antique shop I spent hours in by the beautiful pier. And the beautiful way between those cities spread like a web of incredible waterfalls, streams, lakes, and fjords. I know I have possibly said beautiful in the past few sentences more than ever in my life all together, but that country is astonishing, remarkably unique and pleasant.
And then we parted ways with my momma. And I didn't cry then, and even though it's choking me up a little right now, thinking about how much I miss her, and need her, and feel like telling her every single thing that's been going on in my life, I just won't. I can't afford to break down so easily.a
Good thing I've been keeping busy in the two weeks since I've come back. Firstly, I've been working as a secretary at my dad's office, and every night since I have been going out, tiring myself out to the max, trying to fit as much in with my friends before all of us leave for college in our different paths.
We went camping this weekend on the beach, and I have come really close with a guy that was in my grade, but we never really spoke too much, and then on Thursday during the little camping trip we just stayed up the entire night, literally the entire night, talking, and he told me about his trip to Greece that he went on with his group of friends a few weeks later than we did, and about his first time, and I told I haven't had my first time, and never even been kissed, and he listened to me like no other straight guy before him. I told him about my stupidity and humiliation with Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome, and he just didn't even judge. By the way, I saw Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome last night walking in the street, when we passed by in a car, and he looked amazing, and I just reminded myself of how freaking stupid I am.
This morning, though, two of my very good friends left for college, which is yet another goodbye to have said, and then my dad drove out of town to my extended family, and I came back home, and it's all quiet, and dark, and empty. And for the first time since Norway, since saying goodbye to momma, I have time to think. To process my goodbyes, to think about the scary future that I don't know anything about, those eerie moments that I will have, wanting to come back home to momma, and she's far away, and I can't talk to her because of my stupid busy schedule, and my friends leaving, and my stupidity and my cowardice with boys, and all of a sudden after letting it out now, and talking about some of it has broken my promise earlier not to cry. And I'm choking back tears, but they won't listen and stay down, they just fill my eyes until they burn, and there's no way to get rid of that sting besides blinking those tears away.

"Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox years, always a bigger bed to crawl into? 
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything, and everybody believed in you?"

SO, if we choke back the tears and talk about some of the things I have loved the month of July that has long been gone, and flew by without me even letting it go. I held onto it's wings tight, I promise, but it didn't care at all, it just took off without noticing the dead weight I was imposing on it in order for it to linger.
Song:
The Girl Running duet by Passenger ft. Jess Chalker. I don't know what about this song, maybe the first verse and the last verse, make me think of the loss of innocence and childhood, which, as you might have been able to see was pretty much the theme of this month, fuck, it's been the main topic this entire year.







Artist:

Bon Iver. He's always been a favorite, but playing his beautiful songs while driving across the beautiful landscapes of Norway was an incredible experience. The pure meaning of joy and serenity to me is waking up from sleep in the back seat, grab an apple, with my parent, passing incredible views, and having songs like towers play in the background.




Make Up Item:
See Sheer by Mac is a beautiful sheer peachy pink color. I bought it new during the month of July at the airport's Duty Free. It's as nude as I can go without looking like someone shot me. I love it because it's light, and not intense, but adds a little bit of color to the face. It's a Lustre finish meaning it looks wet and smooth on the lips, but it's not glossy or sticky. It's slightly rosy, slightly coral, but it's absolutely beautiful. I love it. It's also soft on the lips.

Deodorant:
Dove's Go Fresh, which smells like cucumber and mint, and just kept me fresh this entire months running errands, partying, tanning, and so on. It's just very comfortable, and the smell isn't too perfume-y, but lingers, which makes it perfect for keeping me fresh in this "deafening heat" as they say in The Girl Running.

Perfume:
Number 8 by Abercrombie and Fitch. I FINALLY got my hands on a new bottle after ages of living a sad sad life without it. It can be used by both sexes and smell just as lovely and fitting for either sex. It's clean, but not soap-like smelling which is good for me for staying fresh smelling during the summer. It's also a little sexy, dew to it's spices and ginger tones, but floral. And listen to the weird part, it has jasmine petal tones to it, which is my most hated scent ever, but it smells so good, I honestly can't even detect the strong scent of jasmine.

Shows:
Baby Daddy and Melissa and Joey are back! I just watch the new season like a junkie. My comic relief.
I have also started watching Suburgatory. Delirious.

Books:
I have just finished Pretties and proceeded on to Specials, but these books honestly don't get old. They just keep me on my toes and surprise me every freaking time. I think I'm going to cry when I finish Extras. But hey I've got Eve's second book that came out in April when I was still reading Divergent and Insurgent and stuff, and for some reason I had started Uglies before I read it, and I have the Maze Runner at hand, so I will be filled up to the brim with good books. I am a slow reader as you might have noticed, because I like to read when I'm calm, so I read in Norway a boat load, but I haven't since, because I was stressed out and tired.

Hope you're all having a lovely summer, or winter, if you're in the southern part of the equator! Loves you all, and thanks for being there and letting me take out everything I don't dare say on the outside, even if you don't even care about all my nonsense. XOXO Roni J.
By the way the first picture is from the way from one  city to another on a ferry, the second and third are from Bergen on the old pier, the third and fifth are again on the way from one city to another, and the fourth photo is from Alesund. Hope you enjoyed my little journey in pictures!

Floral Reef

Floral Reef by ronijsway featuring skinny leg jeans

Top
awwdore.com

Acne skinny leg jeans
$210 - farfetch.com

Green booties
$45 - fashionunion.com

3 1 Phillip Lim colorful handbag
lagarconne.com

Mango jewelry
mango.com

Round sunglasses
zerouv.myshopify.com

Coral Reef

Coral Reef by ronijsway featuring round frame sunglasses

Poleci
$68 - theoutnet.com

Mary katrantzou
net-a-porter.com

Brown sandals
$18 - chiarafashion.co.uk

FOSSIL cross body handbag
$305 - theiconic.com.au

J Crew colorful necklace
jcrew.com

Floppy hat
swell.com

Round frame sunglasses
80spurple.com

Summer Essentials (June Favorite's Replacement!)

Hello hello dear readers! How are you today? Me? I'm extremely warm at the moment.

Because of all that heat that's striking me right now, I have decided to switch my June favorite, most of them which are anyways a part of this post, with a summer essentials post that will refresh your sweaty face, hopefully. 

Now, this is how it's going to go down. First, I'll list some optional summer products that I personally don't use on a day to day basis, and then I will list my absolute (and personal) summer essentials (meaning that you should take only what suits you from the lists below). 

Optional Summery Stuff:

* Bronzer: I think bronzers are great and they are very good when used correctly, but personally, I think it's better to just leave your face as clean as possible, because the sweaty months don't bring with them skin miracles for me, and coating that with an extra unnecessary layer to me seems a little too much. If you do, however decide to go for bronzing yourself, I would suggest that unlike with winter bronzers, you'll get one with a slight shimmer rather than none at all, and put it where the sun would hit you face naturally (top of the cheek bones, forehead, bridge of the nose, and chin) and blend it a little bit down your neck. The shimmer is going to help with the slight summery glow, but not going to make you so shimmery that you look like you're shiny and like your face is melting away. Not a good look on anybody. Not contouring the face and rather putting the bronzer in the places where the sun will hit your face will give you a tan look rather than a thinner looking face, which I think looks better anyways (the tanner looking face over the thinner looking face). My favorite is the bronzing & highlighting face powder duo by Benefit. It is the perfect amount of shimmer and it also has a blush. It's huge and it's 28$, which in my opinion is a good deal, because it has two huge products that will last forever. Love the color, suits both the fair ones and the darker ones.

* Self Tanners: I am personally do not need to self tan myself, as I am comfortable with my own skin color, and tan easily even when putting on sun screen (IMPORTANTE!), and I don't like putting unnecessary things on my skin, because I want it as healthy as possible, and these are dies, which ultimately can't be the best thing for you if they dye your skin. Yet, I have found that everyone around me that tans enjoy the St. Tropez self tanners the most. These ARE expensive, but from what I know they give an even finish, they don't stink, and they are easy to apply. If the smell of self tanners does bother you I would suggest smelling it anyways in a store, because these are expensive and no one like wasting their money. They have a range of mists, sprays, mousse, and lotions, so whatever suits you best is... The best. I showed a random picture of a self tanner from the website so you know the logo and all that, but that does not mean this is the one I would love the most.

* Powder: This is for the girls or boys that maybe have oilier skin and need to powder it down so that they don't look shiny during the day. Again, this is caking another thing on top of your face that is just going to add on to everything on your face; dirt, sweat, make up, oil. Just an unattractive combo in my opinion. Therefore I don't use it. But for those of you who still need that I would recommend the Bare Escentuals bareMinerals Ready SPF 15 Touch Up Veil. It has a translucent shade and a tinted, and I prefer the translucent because it suits most skin tones. It is 22$ at Sephora, and it has an SPF in it which means it's perfect for summer. 

*Blotting papers: This is my more preferred option for getting excess oil off of your face in the hot months, because it doesn't cake another layer on top of your face. Bare in mind I have never tried blotting papers, so I don't really know their pros and cons. These are the options from the Sephora website.

*Waterproof mascara: I think they're a pain to get off, and that on nights out go with a regular mascara, but when going to the beach, why wear any makeup at all? I love the brush and formula of this washable mascara, and heard really good reviews on the waterproof one. It's volumizing and separating and the brush is great for getting all the lushes coated. It is the Maybelline Falsies Flared Waterproof mascara.

Must Have Summer stuff:

* BB cream/ Tinted moisturizer: Just instead of the foundation you'd regularly put your face, switch it with either a BB cream or a tinted moisturizer depending on the amount of coverage you need. I don't need nor do I want high coverage, I like my little freckles and imperfections, and therefore I go for a tinted moisturizer. I have personally never tried a BB cream, and I'm not a foundation user at all. I do the tinted moisturizer year round. My tinted moisturizer of choice is something my dermatologist  gave me. I've tried more in the past, but they slide off of your face, which kind of defeats the point of wearing something at all. It is much lighter that foundation so it won't be as thick to put on and won't look weird if you sweat it off a little. The one she gave me is the Dr. Kadir protective moisturizer. It has the SPF of 30, it only has one shade that suits every skin tone, but gives your skin a little bit of color. It makes your skin super soft and moisturized, and I love it. Another less pricey option and more reachable option is by Garnier, and though I haven't tried it I have heard great reviews from people who have. It is the Garnier Miracle Skin Perfector. I think it's 10$, so even not so bad to just test it out. It is a BB cream by the way.

*Water bottle: I don't care if it's those fancy water bobbles or just a plastic one from the grocery store, personally I do the plastic one, as long as it hasn't laid out in a warm space for long, because that causes the plastic to release chemicals that aren't good for you. It is so important to drink when you're out and sweating, or just running around doing stuff, because we get dehydrated so fast we don't even notice it until our heads hurt or something. If putting water in a cuter bottle helps you drink more than get one. I cannot stress how important it is enough. It clears your body from toxins and help acne. It's just the easiest thing you have to do in order to stay healthy. I know it might be more tempting to drink sugary ice cold things, but sugary drinks are awful to drink more than once in a while. Try to keep it simple.

*Sunscreen: This is so important for your body. Wrinkles and sun damages are so unattractive and unhealthy that I really see no reason to skip this important step. Get a good sunscreen that has more than 30 SPF, that doesn't sweat off, and that its smell doesn't bother you, because if it does you won't do it. I've found I really like the Piz Buin range, but anything that works is OK. The range IS really expensive so don't necessarily go for it unless nothing else works.

*Lip moisturizer with SPF: Sometimes we neglect putting SPF on our lips, because we think they'll be alright or whatever, but this is an amzingly important step. It is unhealthy to neglect our lips, and also very unappealing. Dry, chapped, aching, flaky lips are definitely not a good look to sport any time of year. Labello, Carmex, and Burt's Bees, and Blistex, and any other company that you can think about, do sun protecting lip balms. Go as cheap or as pricey as you want (Laura Mercier, MAC, Piz Buin..)

*A product containing Aloe: It calms any sun burn like a dream. A gel or lotion or whatever you can find really. In case that doesn't work, try putting yogurt, yes, yogurt on your sunburn and it will cool it and calm your skin down like magic.

*Sun glasses: Yeah, you do not want your vision to go bad, nor do you want the sides of your eyes to wrinkle soon because you squint all the time. Invest in a pair that you can trust will protect you, not just cheap ones that you can find in the market. At least try not to, and you can always find something on sale. Obviously they also make for a fashionable accessory.

*Deodorant: I think this one is fairly clear.

*Wax strips/ Razor and shaving cream/ Appointments for lazering/ Any other way for hair removal: We all want to be smooth for the shorts and bathing suits. I am against shaving really, because it hurts the skin and creates bumps and ingrown hairs, and also makes hair grow thicker and faster. If it works for you though, go ahead.

*Hair ties, bobby pin, and everything that will keep hair out of your face: It makes your face produce more oils and makes you hotter. Just a good way to cool yourself down a little. Try all sorts of different updo's. It can also be a fun way to spice up your look.You might also want to try a cute head scarf to add a girly touch, or a hat to keep the sun off of your face and scalp, which are both very sensitive. The patterned hair ties are from Urban Outfitters, the headwrap is from American Eagle, and the hat and many more summer accessories can be found in Zara. 

*Another must have for summer is a summer playlist: This is the most random playlist, because most of the songs on it have nothing to do with each other. They remind me of all sorts of summers. I love these songs and sometimes I forget how much.

Have an amazing sun, but don't forget to be safe in everything you do <3 XOXO Roni J.

Watch It.

Hello there beautifuls! (?? That's not a word is it?)
Happy Wednesday! Hope you are all great. Either way, if you feel like sharing, please do.
It's weird how time passes. One minute I remember being in the first grade, the next minute I remember moving to a different school right before second grade, I remember finishing lower school, moving abroad, coming back, and things rolled so fast that suddenly, and it does feel like out of the blue, I'm about to go into my last year of high school.
It is so weird to think about it that way, but school, no matter that I moved a thousand times from school to school, school is school, and it has been in my life for almost two whole thirds of my life. Isn't that crazy?! And this is not what freaks me out the most. It does freak me out that time passed so fast, but far more creepy is the fact that I will soon have to leave this system (schools) that I have gotten so used to, that I've met so many different people through, that has been there for almost as long as I can remember myself.
Don't get me wrong, I am used to changes. I accept them in open arms for the most part, because they are, at least in my opinion, good for you. And yet, being out of school is scary as heck to me. I need a gradual change. And school was always quite the protective environment. The system you are so used to and the system that protect you from all harm is now kicking you in the behind out of its doors and you fall flat on your face hearing a big thud that kind of sounds like "BAMMMM LIFE".
Not that I am pessimistic. I actually do believe in my abilities. I believe I can get far. I believe I can make a change in the world, but first I will have to get used to the change in my world.
Time is weird. You can't feel it passing. After quite a chunk of it has passed, only then do you feel that it has taken its toll. I'll be happy to pay mine, but just, maybe, let me stop at a gas station to refresh myself. I know you don't usually stop, dear time, but maybe today is the day to start taking breaks.

Speaking of time I want to talk about my new obsession in fashion- watches.

I own three watches currently, all of which I love equally- to death.
First one is this golden Casio watch. I don't know much details about it, because it is pretty old, maybe like 5 years old even. I love it. It goes with any outfit as long as you're not wearing different toned accessories (if you mix gold and silver or something, it works). It is long lasting (five years I would think) and its battery doesn't go die after two days. I love it. It was handed down to me from my sister when she left to go abroad, so it reminds me of her as well.
Next one is an Urban Outfitters watch that my father got me after I've been Eying it for a really long time. It is so unique, having two faces rather than one. Plus it's analog, which I personally prefer over digital, because I think it is more classy, and it goes, yet again with almost every outfit, because mine has the brown leather strap and it has one white face and one black face, rather than the one in the picture in which both faces are white.
The last one I own is the Swatch watch from the Lady Collection. I own the first one from the right, which has a burgundy or berry color, that looks so good on my skin tone which is a little olive-y. It is a wrap around watch which makes it very fashionable, and the color selection is simply divine. My sister has the second one from the left, which is also very beautiful. I can't find myself saying that one of those colors isn't. Very summer pastels and neons, or a little more to the neutral zone like mine, the cream one, and the white one. Love these very much.
Prices are the highest for the Casio watch, and they differ in a lot of places. As far as I know the Swatch watches are second and they cost 50$, which is pretty good for a water proof (very summery) stylish watch. The Urban Outfitters as far as I know is the cheapest and it is 34$, but it does have real leather straps which I didn't like the idea of, but my dad didn't know, so if you are against it you should probably alter. If you have any watches that you've been eying that you like, please share them with me.
Love you very much. Hang in there it's almost weekend. Happy 4th of July for the Americans who read. XOXO Roni J.