Wednesday, August 14, 2013

July Flew By

And so did the rest of this summer. I can't believe that in two weeks I'll be heading to college to start the rest of my life. So far away from everything that I know, and love. So far away from everything that's familiar and home to me.
I will be beginning this year far away from home, in the dorm room with two to three new girls that I barely even know. I will have to get used to their faults and their flaws, and will have to fit my flaws, and my faults to them. And after all this hard work, when I get back home once every two weeks for the weekend, when I'm tired, and just need to rely on something comfortable and familiar, my momma is not going to be here.
I have said goodbye to my momma after a two week long journey with both my parents in the entirety of Norway, which is one of the most insanely beautiful spectacular places I have ever been to. It was incredible for both the beautiful landscapes of waterfalls, and lakes, and fjords, and just water in general. God, they have so freaking much water it's not even funny, but also for the beautiful cities they have there like Oslo, Bergen, and Alesund, every single one of which is unique for its own reasons, and its architecture, which you must know is one of my favorite things in the world, and one of the things I find the most beautiful to see in different cities and countries. Some of my favorite places include the beautiful Viking Museum in the outskirts of Oslo. I am usually not a museum person at all, but those freaking Viking ships are freaking incredible. Such elegant woodwork was done on these ships with so many decorative intricate detailing that I almost peed my pants out of pure joy. Another lovely lovely place was the city of Bergen, which is all the way out in the west of Norway, and the old pier that they have restored and placed some stores in. It's just so goddamn beautiful. I also found this adorable freaking cafe in a street called Lille Ovregaten, that's both a cafe and a book store. So beautifully designed, really good coffee, amazing baked goods, some homely, amazing smell of cinnamon, spices, and coffee. If you ever pass by Bergen by any chance, just run there. It's inspired me to want to open a similar place in the future maybe. Making people fall back in love with books, music, and the small beautiful things in life. There's also a very good restaurant called Zupperia in Bergen that makes amazing soup dishes that are so freaking big, and so freaking tasty and heart warming on a rainy day. I have never in my life tasted a clam chowder so delicious.
Alesund is another beautiful city all made out of stone buildings because of a fire that burnt the city down to the ground. Not only is the architecture absolutely beautiful, but they have amazing fish and chips, an adorable glass workshop, and and an amazing little antique shop I spent hours in by the beautiful pier. And the beautiful way between those cities spread like a web of incredible waterfalls, streams, lakes, and fjords. I know I have possibly said beautiful in the past few sentences more than ever in my life all together, but that country is astonishing, remarkably unique and pleasant.
And then we parted ways with my momma. And I didn't cry then, and even though it's choking me up a little right now, thinking about how much I miss her, and need her, and feel like telling her every single thing that's been going on in my life, I just won't. I can't afford to break down so easily.a
Good thing I've been keeping busy in the two weeks since I've come back. Firstly, I've been working as a secretary at my dad's office, and every night since I have been going out, tiring myself out to the max, trying to fit as much in with my friends before all of us leave for college in our different paths.
We went camping this weekend on the beach, and I have come really close with a guy that was in my grade, but we never really spoke too much, and then on Thursday during the little camping trip we just stayed up the entire night, literally the entire night, talking, and he told me about his trip to Greece that he went on with his group of friends a few weeks later than we did, and about his first time, and I told I haven't had my first time, and never even been kissed, and he listened to me like no other straight guy before him. I told him about my stupidity and humiliation with Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome, and he just didn't even judge. By the way, I saw Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome last night walking in the street, when we passed by in a car, and he looked amazing, and I just reminded myself of how freaking stupid I am.
This morning, though, two of my very good friends left for college, which is yet another goodbye to have said, and then my dad drove out of town to my extended family, and I came back home, and it's all quiet, and dark, and empty. And for the first time since Norway, since saying goodbye to momma, I have time to think. To process my goodbyes, to think about the scary future that I don't know anything about, those eerie moments that I will have, wanting to come back home to momma, and she's far away, and I can't talk to her because of my stupid busy schedule, and my friends leaving, and my stupidity and my cowardice with boys, and all of a sudden after letting it out now, and talking about some of it has broken my promise earlier not to cry. And I'm choking back tears, but they won't listen and stay down, they just fill my eyes until they burn, and there's no way to get rid of that sting besides blinking those tears away.

"Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox years, always a bigger bed to crawl into? 
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything, and everybody believed in you?"

SO, if we choke back the tears and talk about some of the things I have loved the month of July that has long been gone, and flew by without me even letting it go. I held onto it's wings tight, I promise, but it didn't care at all, it just took off without noticing the dead weight I was imposing on it in order for it to linger.
The Girl Running duet by Passenger ft. Jess Chalker. I don't know what about this song, maybe the first verse and the last verse, make me think of the loss of innocence and childhood, which, as you might have been able to see was pretty much the theme of this month, fuck, it's been the main topic this entire year.

Bon Iver. He's always been a favorite, but playing his beautiful songs while driving across the beautiful landscapes of Norway was an incredible experience. The pure meaning of joy and serenity to me is waking up from sleep in the back seat, grab an apple, with my parent, passing incredible views, and having songs like towers play in the background.

Make Up Item:
See Sheer by Mac is a beautiful sheer peachy pink color. I bought it new during the month of July at the airport's Duty Free. It's as nude as I can go without looking like someone shot me. I love it because it's light, and not intense, but adds a little bit of color to the face. It's a Lustre finish meaning it looks wet and smooth on the lips, but it's not glossy or sticky. It's slightly rosy, slightly coral, but it's absolutely beautiful. I love it. It's also soft on the lips.

Dove's Go Fresh, which smells like cucumber and mint, and just kept me fresh this entire months running errands, partying, tanning, and so on. It's just very comfortable, and the smell isn't too perfume-y, but lingers, which makes it perfect for keeping me fresh in this "deafening heat" as they say in The Girl Running.

Number 8 by Abercrombie and Fitch. I FINALLY got my hands on a new bottle after ages of living a sad sad life without it. It can be used by both sexes and smell just as lovely and fitting for either sex. It's clean, but not soap-like smelling which is good for me for staying fresh smelling during the summer. It's also a little sexy, dew to it's spices and ginger tones, but floral. And listen to the weird part, it has jasmine petal tones to it, which is my most hated scent ever, but it smells so good, I honestly can't even detect the strong scent of jasmine.

Baby Daddy and Melissa and Joey are back! I just watch the new season like a junkie. My comic relief.
I have also started watching Suburgatory. Delirious.

I have just finished Pretties and proceeded on to Specials, but these books honestly don't get old. They just keep me on my toes and surprise me every freaking time. I think I'm going to cry when I finish Extras. But hey I've got Eve's second book that came out in April when I was still reading Divergent and Insurgent and stuff, and for some reason I had started Uglies before I read it, and I have the Maze Runner at hand, so I will be filled up to the brim with good books. I am a slow reader as you might have noticed, because I like to read when I'm calm, so I read in Norway a boat load, but I haven't since, because I was stressed out and tired.

Hope you're all having a lovely summer, or winter, if you're in the southern part of the equator! Loves you all, and thanks for being there and letting me take out everything I don't dare say on the outside, even if you don't even care about all my nonsense. XOXO Roni J.
By the way the first picture is from the way from one  city to another on a ferry, the second and third are from Bergen on the old pier, the third and fifth are again on the way from one city to another, and the fourth photo is from Alesund. Hope you enjoyed my little journey in pictures!

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