The Haul Wide World

Hello there ladies and gentlemen, yet again I would like to ask all of you to forgive my awful attendance. Unfortunately it doesn't mean much anymore, sadly, so I will just promise to make no more promises about my attendance. Crap! I just did.
What more can I tell you about my life?
I have a question to ask you. Is it bad to wish someone out of your life? It's not that I hate these people (they have multiplied over the years. Seriously, before you get pregnant make sure that the combination of you and the other person with whom you get pregnant genetically won't make one of those people by mistake. Obviously, I wasn't all that serious when I said seriously). I actually care about these people a lot, but for some reason every time I let myself care about them it backfires. I'm just tired of the fights and the drama and of being, myself, quite an unpleasant person. I have a big part in all of those relationships and in them becoming unbearable, but while I mostly try to take the highroad and back away from any kind of dramatic explosion they just get drawn to the drama like flies to a lamp. I try to save both sides from getting burnt alive, but it's like they don't see the consequences of their actions.
Maybe it's also me that isn't really looking past my actions to the consequences of those actions. Maybe I'm just doing the most immature thing and blaming it on the others, as if I am not at all to blame. Maybe I'm a drama queen that loves it and therefore creates it time and time again, but I find it all hard to believe when I'm always the one to say: "hey, we should really not go on with this conversation. We just fight all the time and this needs to stop".
It's not that I wish they never existed or something, god forbid, or that they were never in my life. No, no, it's not that at all. I just wish that, at this exact point while we still have some sweet memories and they're not yet clouded up by those bitter fight, they move to Antarctica, because they parents got a job there or whatever, and disappeared. Is that awful? To wish them as far away from me as possible? If so, if you think this is awful and I'm a bad person, please tell me in the comments below how you would react to endless fights with people you still care about somewhat. I would seriously love to know, since i am way past being out of ideas.
Now for the long anticipated (or not long anticipated at all) haul!
These glasses, the loves of my life, these were purchased in a local store (comment below for information). I love love love these glasses, because, and I have a confession here, I have a big nose. Well, not big, but I don't really love it. Therefore I love patterned sunglasses. They take the attention away from my nose. Plus, these remind me of a pair I saw on H&M online, but could NOT find it anywhere in stores which is not even on the website anymore. Ugh.
The Aztec-y inspired bird necklace is from Forever 21. I think I saw it on Estee from Essiebutton on YouTube and got inspired to buy it. I love the Aztec-y items like nothing else hence the pair of colorful pants I'm wearing in the next photo. It's silver, which I wasn't really all into until I saw the silver jewelry that Clothesencounters' Jenn was wearing and fell in love.
The next shirt, like every shirt I've bought this summer, is a sleeveless button up shirt. It is made of the softest denim ever, and I bought it from a local designer (so is the next necklace I got), so for more information contact me through the comments down below.
Last but most definitely not least is this pastel colored necklace I got. The squares are different sizes and one of them ( the light blue one) has the cutest bow on it. I love it.
Tell me what you think about the topic of the day and about the items purchased! XOXO Roni J.

Here's a song I love. Hope you enjoy it!

Back On Track

Or at the very least I hope so; at least for the time being. I just had a chemistry AP. Don't judge me, please. It went fairly alright. Not the best test I've had, but I got the results for my math AP, and I got 95, so that cheered me up :D. Oh the small things that make me happy. Like the humongous moon that appeared two days ago.
If you don't yet know this, or if I haven't blabbered about this subject enough in the past, my favorite thing, or rather things, about nature are the stars, the moon and the sun. I especially love the clear night skies. I don't have any idea why, but it calms me down. I will not force my belief upon anybody, but the truth is that it makes me feel like no matter what anybody says, there's something much bigger than us that's moving us and that directs us. Whether you're an astrologist, astronomer, christian, muslim, bahai, jew, whatever you choose to be, I'm really not about to name all the religions this world has to offer because there are more beliefs than people, I've found, the universe holds some crazy secrets that whomever or whatever is responsible for their creation is greatly admired by me. I mean some people think that it makes you see how small you really are, which is frightening, but to me it doesn't as though I'm so small, as much as it feels like there are literally worlds more to discover.
Some people are afraid of all the ways the universe can harm us. Us people, we harm ourselves more than the universe harms us, quite frankly. To be honest, I'd rather be killed by an asteroid than to be killed by a human, which seems to be rather likely these days.
Anyways this is just pointless blabber. The real thing I was going to talk about is my tiny disappointment. There was a race in town today and my dad and I were supposed to go, but he had a meeting scheduled last minute and therefore we didn't go. I really wish to be back on track with my physical activity, as well, but everything I try kind of fails miserably. I'll find something to do next school year I guess.
So here's the haul I've been promising for absolutely ages. Sorry for that.

 This first top is from a local boutique. Yes, again, I'm so sorry. It's a paisley print made out of really nice and flowy from a silk-like material. It has a zipper detailing on the pocket, which is simply what sold it for me. Easy to sell me stuff you're thinking? You're pretty darn right. A day beforehand I told myself there's no way I'll be seen wearing something paisley. Liar liar pants on fire, you'd be seen in almost any piece of clothing if given the chance. 

The next piece is a bikini top that I bought, yet again in a local store. I love it because of the tribal-like pattern and the bright colors without being neon pink all over which is really not my style if you ever wondered. Obviously as mentioned above, if I see something neon pink that I like, I will wear it, because I buy more than I talk. I'm kidding. I really don't.
The next two tops are both sleeveless button downs, as I've said I love in my favorites. Both are sheer, on the peachier tone of things, both from H&M and both are loved by me very much. The first one is a silky material on front with a cute floral print that's back is a chiffon sheer fabric.
The other one is just a sheer over all high-low shirt that I would love to wear to the beach with a bikini top underneath or with a cool bandeau underneath, or even a nice tank top that suits it. I was hoping to also get H&M's tribal printed sunglasses but they didn't have them in store which killed it for me and I still want to find them.
Anyways darlings, I hope we all have a good rest of the week and weekend, and that we go through the exams like we were butterflies in a field of flowers. Leave comments down below for suggestions, questions, or random things you want to say! XOXO Roni J.

  I have no idea why, but I got addicted to this song today, so I hope you enjoy it. It has no symbolic meaning for the text above like I usually do.

Saying Goodbye

Hey girls,
don't get freaked out by the title this does not mean by any way that I'm ditching you, but I had  to talk to you about something that's been weighing me down.
I'm sure this probably happens to everybody and surely in a much worse way than it happened to me, but today I said a rough goodbye to someone. That someone is my dog. She lives with my aunt and uncle, so I won't see her again before they put her down tomorrow. She is a beautiful dog, smart, kind and innocent, and she is so human; more human than a lot of other people I know. We named her Joy when we first got her, and the truth is she really did bring us all joy.
Lately, though, she hasn't been feeling too good, she was weak and old, and she was diagnosed with a tumor. She is not as full of joy as she once were. She can barely get up or wiggle that cute little tail of hers. I knew I had to see her before she was put down, and hence I went over and sat down with her for a while, hugged her, tried to ease her pain as much as I could, but I realized I have no healing powers in my hands, and after an hour or so I left her.
I thought that saying goodbye to her would be better than what had happened to me the last time I lost someone that was close to my heart. She was my nanny when I was just a tiny little thing, and she had diabetes for a long time before she had passed, but I didn't want to see her hurting so bad I guess, and so I put off seeing her for a long time, and then she passed away, and I was so full of shame and regret that I still haven't gotten over the fact that I should have at least paid her the respect she deserved and come and visit her.
My rule to myself in life is to never do something that I know I will not be proud of, and when I do something that I'm not entirely proud
of, to not regret it and look on the bright side of doing it.    "You're gonna have to leave me now, I
This was the first time I actually really regretted                  know. I'll see you in the sky above, in
something that I've done, or rather haven't done,                  in the tall grass, in the ones I love.You're
and couldn't look past the guilt to the bright side of it.         gonna make me lonesome when you go"
When I went to see Joy, my nanny's funeral kept popping
into my head and I thought that this was the right thing to do, but it didn't hurt any less. I didn't feel guilty, but I saw her in her misery and all I could wish was that there truly is a heaven, and that she gets to be the first in line to go through the gates of it.
I'm sorry for the rather sad post. I just really had to share you know?
On a brighter note...

Here's an outfit of the day from a while back.
The polka dotted cropped top is vintage from my mother's closet. The black high waisted jeggings I think were from Urban Outfitters, but I was gifted them so I don't know. The necklace again is from Michal Negrin. If you want the link to her site, I posted it a while ago so look in previous posts. The earrings are from H&M last year, and the shoes I wore are my Aldo black sandals that have been in basically every post.
Take care! Roni J.