Friday, June 1, 2012

Fragile (May Favorites)

Hey girls (and boys. Do we have any boys here? If so, tell me, I feel like I would hate it if no one referred to me when I was reading a blog of theirs). How has this month passed? Was it any better than the last? Any worse (oh gosh I hope not).
So when I was about 13, I think, I went to a summer camp with a friend. It was a bible camp, even though that's not really my thing. I went there because she is my best friend (to this day), and it was a lot of fun, when I look back. The subject that year was fragile. How the world is so very fragile, how relationships are so very fragile, and how we need to take care of our surroundings, because we can never put together the pieces exactly the way they were before they cracked or shattered (depends on the case really). English is not my first language, so I didn't really know what the meaning was at first, but as time passed I came to know what this means.
The definition of fragile from is: easily broken, shattered, or damaged; delicate; brittle; frail.
In other words, I guess, it means breakable.
I don't know if I told you this before, but my sister left about a week ago to live abroad for a few months. I don't think I really have to stress how hard it was to have her leave, and how much I miss her every day she's away, and how hard it is to hear she's going through something hard and not to be able to hug her and to be there for her.
Yesterday my mother talk to her on Skype before she came home and she texted me "Will be held back a little, on Skype with your sister. Boy crisis". My sister met a guy before she went abroad who lives there and they talked almost everyday on Skype, and when she visited a few months ago they were doing alright and all this time he seems interested. As well as since she got there about a week ago.
Yesterday, after spending an entire day with her, a day she felt was perfect, a day when he was, apparently, marking his territory in front of his friends, after all that, he decides he doesn't want her anymore, and he just told her it's not what he wants.
Understandable. The guy decides that's not what he wants. I actually appreciate the honesty, but he could have said it sooner, he could have made her understand that he's not interested rather than making her believe that he really wants something to happen between them, he could have not waited this long, he could have not marked territory or waited a whole day to say it. But he didn't.
My sister is much more breakable than I am. Part of it is the fact that I let no one in maybe, and I am very calculated rather than gut follower. I almost never break, surely not in front of the person responsible, and I'm able of holding it in and not letting at show through. It's my specialty really.
I can honestly say I had a thousand scenarios of what I should have done to the guy who broke my sister's heart like, to the point where every time she heard our voices (voices from home) she started weeping. I am so protective of my family, especially her since she is, as I've said, so fragile.
My heart breaks at the sight of any person with a broken heart. I cry like a little girl. I mean, while watching Kyle XY, there were quite a few heart broken moments and I cried in each and every one of them. While watching the Hunger Games, I cried when Gale saw Peeta and Katniss kiss even thought I like Peeta better, just because I knew his heart must have been breaking, and those are fictional characters, so seeing someone real going through heartbreak, and someone that I love as much as I love my sister, I simply broke down.
Good thing I talked to her over the phone last night, because my voice did crack a little, but I really didn't want her to see the tears. Just hearing her cry, her voice so aching, her wanting to come back home, it was so hard not to cry.
Over all I think today she's probably better. I hope so. I will move on to my favorites right about now.

*Favorite T.V. Show: Kyle X.Y. I have literally talked about this a thousand times it feels like, but this is genuinely THE best show I have seen in a REALLY REALLY long time. It is a complete fiction, kind of science fiction teen drama show. I love it. I'm still not able to see the last episode they shot before the show got canceled, because I seriously don't want it to end.

*Favorite Person: Jean-Luc Bilodeau. This is the guy that plays Kyle's adoptive brother in the show and I can seriously say that, besides his good looks, he can portray so much emotion, he's funny, and half of the times I cried about something in the show (I cry a lot at seeing other people's pain) it was because of him. I am happy to say that he's coming out with a show called Baby Daddy very very soon, so I'll be on the lookout for it :) (It's going to be on ABC Family for whomever is in the U.S. and would like to try it out). Hopefully it's good. Just don't kill me if it isn't.

*Favorite Mascara: Loreal's Telescopic in brown. I know I said last month that I love PUPA's mascara, and I do think it is a great mascara, but the wand is SO extremely thick and uncomfortable. I love the formula, but the wand kills it for me. So I got back to using Loreal's Telescopic, which is also more lengthening, I would think, than the PUPA one, which I want more of than I want a thickening one. The wand is absolutely tiny, which is perfect for the bottom lushes as well. I like it!

*Favorite Artist: Paolo Nutini. This guy will forever, I hope, be my favorite artist. His lyrics are amazing, his voice sends chill up and down my spine, he is amazing (I haven't said it before enough). I have discovered new songs of his and I just fell in love all over again.

Favorite Song: Wake Up by Arcade Fire covered by (surprise surprise) Paolo Nutini. Amazing cover. So heartfelt and.... I just love him obviously.
Have a great weekend!!! XOXO Roni J.!

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