Change.

Hello ladies,
How are you?
I am doing fairly well. The only things that's bringing me down is that my sister is out of the country for 3 months and I really miss her, but, as long as I hear that she's doing well, I don't really mind it.
Today I sort of wanted to talk to you about the one thing most of us fear the most around this time of year. Bikinis. *Scary music in the background followed by a high pitched yelp*. Yours truly also has some insecurities about herself (if not a high score at insecurities and low self esteem), but as always I'm trying my best to make a change.
I have decided to stop complaining and start loving the way I am or acting up. You see, the more we tell ourselves we're not good enough, not pretty enough, not cute enough, not sexy enough, too tall, too fat, too bootylicious, the more we believe ourselves and the less motivation we have to change it, and the less we are capable of loving ourselves, because we make ourselves believe that it's engraved in who we are, that it couldn't be changed even if we wanted to.
My definition of love is accepting one's flaws and embracing them. It doesn't only apply on loving other people. Make it apply to how you feel about yourself. 
So no, this time of year you won't find me grieving over the fact that my chest is too small or that my hips don't lie. I have decided that no one is going to change how I feel about myself but myself. I have also decided that I have no right to complain, and that if I feel like complaining about something that can be changed, I will change it rather than complain, and that if I feel like hating myself for something that cannot be changed in the present or in the near future, I better start accepting it the way it is.
Some of you might think I'm stupid while others will agree, but my biggest insecurity about my appearance, I would think, is my legs. Not only are they scarred like crazy from years of falling on my knees, getting scratched by my cat or shaving mistakes (OUCH), but I also have a real issue with their shape.
So this is something doable. I have decided this is my goal for the month of June. My friend who used to swim competitively will help me with dry land work outs that she used to do when she was on the team, and I will slowly strengthen my thighs so that I feel more comfortable with them. At the end of the months, after doing a routine hopefully everyday, I will tell you how it went and if I really stuck to my decision.
I suggest you join me and pick an insecurity of yours that you can gradually change over the course of next month and share your feelings with me, too!

Take inspiration from everything you see to inspire everyone you know. Enjoy this song by Keane- "Everybody's Changing". Have A great weekend. XOXO Roni J.

Watch Your Back

Hello hello pretty things.
How did your weekend go? Hopefully fantastic. Since today has been a great day, and generally in the past week things have been looking up, I decided I would do a really short talk and then get down to fashion business.
I finished another test today, and I think it went well. I got a good grade on my chemistry test, which is definitely cheerful considering I had THE hardest time studying for that one. I have a math test on Wednesday, which is huge, but I'm calm and I will do great. My guy friend and I are doing alright, better than a few days ago. Guys are still not really on my To *urgently* Do list (see what I did there?), but that is also OK, because that is the choice I made for the sake of myself, and I still find it's the healthiest state of mind I've been in with the whole "men" subject. Let's just say that a lot of weight has been lifted of my shoulders.


Speaking of which, today I'm going to talk about my favorite style of bags. Being a student, and a tall one at that, my back is pretty darn screwed up. I mean I carry so much to school, and my tall structure doesn't hold up all too well. Carrying a messenger bag or a purse to school would be really unhealthy for me, and a regular sports-y backpack is just... Not the greatest looking thing.
Thank the person who brought fashionable backpacks back into fashion, I can carry a handy dandy handsome backpack on shoulders and feel cool without looking like a complete dork. They might not be everyone's cup of tea, but they are cute, supportive, and useful.
Some of my favorites that I've found from different stores in different price ranges: 
From Freepeople.com: Two beautiful ideas, but as freepeople usually are, they are a little pricey. Every girl and her price tag. The leather one is gorgeous, but I fear it's real leather, and I don't do too well with that plus it's like $528.......HELLOOO BIG NUMBERS. Not my piece of cake, but, hey, no judgements.
The tribal print backpack is a better choice in my opinion but still pretty expensive, rated at $178, which is better, but still.

From Urbanoutfitters.com: Two more beautiful backpacks. The first one is a MUCH cheaper alternative for the Freepeople tribal print one, which costs $59. I'm only showing you a few options, so bare it in mind that each store has many more to offer in other styles, but these are my favorites from each (with the exception of the leather one that if it were to be faux leather I would love it, but it isn't). The next one is a hard to describe one. It has all sorts of shapes on it with a splash of mint, which is the second or third favored color this season, after tangerine orange and rose gold. This one I think is the cheapest one out of all priced at $49.

From Topshop.com: Is a lonely backpack. This is the only one I found to be close to my taste, but obviously you can go there and check for yourselves if there's something better than that. It's floral, which is lovely for the summer. This one is priced at $68.







I must give it to Asos.com for having the best selection out of all these websites:  The first one is the neon detailed tribal print one to the side that is simply... GORGEOUS, in my opinion at least. The print, the neon, the shape. Ohhhh, es perfecto. It is priced at $69.58. The next one is that black and white one that has a whole lot of little drawings as its pattern. I love it a little less than the last one, but it's beautiful. It's $121.77, which is PRICEY, but, yet again, whatever you like.
The next one is so super duper cute! It's this coral color with the structured look and a scalloped edge that makes it girly and adorable. Seriously I'm in love with it. It is $60.88, and IT'S NOT LEATHER :D! Last but not least, yet another adorable one from ASOS is this navy one with orange detailing. I have no idea why I like it so much, but it just looks like a little face, and that is so cute! But it's $187.87 soooo. Meh.




One that I found on Ebay.com is this cute floral one. It's not exactly my favorite, but I thought it would be nice to see a cheaper alternative. I don't know how much I trust things I find on ebay, but you girls go ahead, if it suits you well. It is $28.99.

 This song was introduced to me when I watched Kyle XY last week. I started watching it because I had nothing to watch. It is SUCH a good movie. It is going to be in my favorites this month. Here's Save You by Matthew Perryman Jones whom I love for his song called Amelia that I think I have posted here in the past, if not, will post soon :D
Now didn't this post save you? Kidding. XOXO Roni J.

The Ice Is Getting Thinner

Hello girls. How are you?
A few days ago I had a lot of questions popping up. Me and a guy friend of mine have been really... Rocky, might I say? I still have no idea if I can resolve it, if it can be resolved, and even if I want it resolved, but it has made me feel pretty woozy and down. I feel that in order to stay friends I have to give up my values and my freedom, and I don't like that. I've already said this a thousand times maybe, but I am a bird. If you tie up my wings, I won't be me, I won't be able to be truly happy. So I listened to this song that really represents what I feel. This song is "The Ice Is Getting Thinner" by Death Cab for Cutie. I've known this song for so long, but only now did I go back to listen to the lyrics, and it just made me cry. Out of quite obvious despair and annoyance with how things are and how I felt like a friendship I trusted a lot is falling apart and I don't feel like there's anything I can do about it while still being myself and doing what's right for me, I found myself sobbing. So I started typing, and this is what came out: "What do you do when a friendship falls apart? Something you trusted most is breaking like ice over a lake under the smallest of pressures as if it were glass slipping out of one's hand. The ice is getting thinner and thinner, and the things that seemed to keep this friendship from crashing down under harsher circumstances are slowly going away. The person you thought knew you best now barely understands the language that you're speaking. What DO you do when a friendship falls apart?"
I can't tell you that I care too much anymore, though. I realized that if I hadn't been honest with him the way I was, which is what started the fight, we would have anyways grown apart, because I'm not one to be willing to give up values of mine. They are called V-A-L-U-E-S for a reason. They are called it because they are valuable. They are worth far too much to be giving them up. Especially for a person who disrespects them and wouldn't give up any of his values for you. Mutuality is so important to me, and this case is not any different. In order for me to give up any of my values it's going to take a whole lot more than someone that I care about. It has to be someone that I care about and is worth caring about, and, as much as it pains me to say this, I'm just not sure he is.
I care about him a lot, I love him a lot, but I'm not willing to be his friend at the price of hurting other people and losing my freedom. Sometimes losing a friend is just the push that you needed in order to grow up and mature, or to find out what friendship means to you, or to find an answer to what IS friendship to you. I really have yet figured out what I want from him. Do I want to be his friend? Yes, but do I want him to listen to me and respect my words and values? All the more.
I'm such a Debbie Downer recently, you girls. I am so sincerely sorry for that, because I really don't mean to drag you down or make you feel like that. I am hoping things get better for me soon, so that I can write cheerful posts again.
Yet again here's an outfit of the day!
At first I styled it this way: This is a sweater from Zara, probably from like the nineties or something it's so old, that has always been really cropped on me because my figure is so tall that the width and length of shirts and pants usually doesn't match my figure. So I cropped it even more. The sweater is really light and colorful, so it's good for spring even if the print reminds you a lot of summer. I'm not sure if it's going to show up, but it has a shade of bright pink, green, red and gray.

For the first way I styled it was for school for something quick, so I didn't want to have too much skin showing. I tucked it into shorts from River Island in this aubergine-y shade, that have a nice flow to them to contrast the rather tighter silhouette of the sweater. In order to keep the cropped sweater from coming out while at school I put on a ribbon tied as a belt in a similar shade of gray to the one on the sweater. I do this a lot and it makes me feel like a little wrapped present.  
The second look I just let the sweater out and had it expose a little more skin. I also added one of my favorite necklaces. I think this style was more inspired by the character of Ivy on the show 90210. I love her style. I really do. 
This is it girls. Talk to you soon. XOXO Roni J.

Keeping Promises

Hello girls.
Was there ever a promise you didn't keep? Something you really wanted to stand by, but when the time came, you decided it's time to sit down. Something that when you look back ,you wish you would have, or wouldn't have done. Something you promised you wouldn't say, but the time called for it, so you went with it, said it, it poured out of your mouth and when it was out, there was just no way of getting those words back; back to where they came from, back to where they truly belong. Something that would be a good idea for you, a healthier decision for you to keep. Why don't we keep those?
Is it society that's making it seem like so hard, like too much of an effort to keep up with our promises? Is it society that makes it sound like temptation is good for us and that everything tempting is worth the risk? Is it us that we're so terrified of commitment? Is it people around us that doubt our abilities? Why?
Have you wondered about it later? Why it is that we want something so bad that we promise it to ourselves, maybe even vow, but there comes a day for some strange reason that we break that promise? We waste so much time making promises, so little time thinking about breaking them, and so much more time breaking them. Why do we make them then?
Obviously, I am also human. I make promises that I fail to keep all the time, but what drives me crazy is people who don't even make an effort at keeping them. Throwing away promises for them is like tossing an old juice box to the trash can.
Don't get me wrong. I think making promises is a good thing. It's even important. I think keeping those promises and making them come to life is even more important. It's rewarding. It shows an effort. It shows you care. I think they have a big weight to them and that they shouldn't just be dispersed in the air or tossed like they were some Frisbee.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you need, we all need to give more thought before making promises to other people, to God, to ourselves, to other objects you might find lying around in the room for all I care, and more thought into breaking them. They were meant to be kept.
I don't know why I spoke about this subject necessarily. That's so random. Ok. Whatever came out I'm fine with. 

 So this is an outfit I wore a WHILE ago, but haven't yet posted.
I wore this tank top I love from Urban Outfitters. It's a really nice turquoise color and it has lace stripes in different widths all over it. My style isn't so girly that I feel right in everything that has lace on it, but this is just the right amount, and it's black lace rather than white or pink, so it's suits me much better.
I also wore my boutique bought Chinos in the same kind of turquoise, except a few shades lighter. I think that with the black lace it created this nice dimension to the outfit, but that might just be me.

For jewelery I decided to go with my colorful Michal Negrin earrings and the necklace that is very similar the the earrings except in different colors, also from Michal Negrin. If you hadn't noticed my love for her jewelery by now, than you haven't been around for long, probably. Her website was linked a few posts ago but here it is in case you missed out on it.
The shoes I wore are my beloved suede loafers from Urban Outfitters by the brand Minnetonka.
Other than that the rings are the usual rings, and stuff.
Please leave a comment down below and subscribe to this blog. XOXO Roni J.

This is Charlie Simpson. Now this guy is amazing. He's a British folk artist, and his songs are just so touching and the lyrics so inspiring, and his voice and the guitar just so so soothing. Hope you enjoy him. He's BY FAR one of my favorite artists and his songs can make me cry in a snap. Love him.

Back On Track

Or at the very least I hope so; at least for the time being. I just had a chemistry AP. Don't judge me, please. It went fairly alright. Not the best test I've had, but I got the results for my math AP, and I got 95, so that cheered me up :D. Oh the small things that make me happy. Like the humongous moon that appeared two days ago.
If you don't yet know this, or if I haven't blabbered about this subject enough in the past, my favorite thing, or rather things, about nature are the stars, the moon and the sun. I especially love the clear night skies. I don't have any idea why, but it calms me down. I will not force my belief upon anybody, but the truth is that it makes me feel like no matter what anybody says, there's something much bigger than us that's moving us and that directs us. Whether you're an astrologist, astronomer, christian, muslim, bahai, jew, whatever you choose to be, I'm really not about to name all the religions this world has to offer because there are more beliefs than people, I've found, the universe holds some crazy secrets that whomever or whatever is responsible for their creation is greatly admired by me. I mean some people think that it makes you see how small you really are, which is frightening, but to me it doesn't as though I'm so small, as much as it feels like there are literally worlds more to discover.
Some people are afraid of all the ways the universe can harm us. Us people, we harm ourselves more than the universe harms us, quite frankly. To be honest, I'd rather be killed by an asteroid than to be killed by a human, which seems to be rather likely these days.
Anyways this is just pointless blabber. The real thing I was going to talk about is my tiny disappointment. There was a race in town today and my dad and I were supposed to go, but he had a meeting scheduled last minute and therefore we didn't go. I really wish to be back on track with my physical activity, as well, but everything I try kind of fails miserably. I'll find something to do next school year I guess.
So here's the haul I've been promising for absolutely ages. Sorry for that.

 This first top is from a local boutique. Yes, again, I'm so sorry. It's a paisley print made out of really nice and flowy from a silk-like material. It has a zipper detailing on the pocket, which is simply what sold it for me. Easy to sell me stuff you're thinking? You're pretty darn right. A day beforehand I told myself there's no way I'll be seen wearing something paisley. Liar liar pants on fire, you'd be seen in almost any piece of clothing if given the chance. 

The next piece is a bikini top that I bought, yet again in a local store. I love it because of the tribal-like pattern and the bright colors without being neon pink all over which is really not my style if you ever wondered. Obviously as mentioned above, if I see something neon pink that I like, I will wear it, because I buy more than I talk. I'm kidding. I really don't.
The next two tops are both sleeveless button downs, as I've said I love in my favorites. Both are sheer, on the peachier tone of things, both from H&M and both are loved by me very much. The first one is a silky material on front with a cute floral print that's back is a chiffon sheer fabric.
The other one is just a sheer over all high-low shirt that I would love to wear to the beach with a bikini top underneath or with a cool bandeau underneath, or even a nice tank top that suits it. I was hoping to also get H&M's tribal printed sunglasses but they didn't have them in store which killed it for me and I still want to find them.
Anyways darlings, I hope we all have a good rest of the week and weekend, and that we go through the exams like we were butterflies in a field of flowers. Leave comments down below for suggestions, questions, or random things you want to say! XOXO Roni J.

  I have no idea why, but I got addicted to this song today, so I hope you enjoy it. It has no symbolic meaning for the text above like I usually do.

Here's To.... (April Favorites)

Hello girls!
How have you been doing lately?
I have been doing better with the whole stress situation, and things are a little more calm again.
I have had a few things in April that really are worth toasting to:
Here's to being able to handle stress, and jump over every hurdle that's in my way even though I hate running.
Here's to being able to show myself that I am so much better than I give myself credit for.
Here's to learning how to stand up for myself, who I am, what I believe in, and what's important to me.
Here's to taking the space I need desperately, to stepping back, relaxing, to being selfish as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else.
Here's to knowing that being selfish (obviously as long as it doesn't hurt anybody) is human,
 allowed, and even necessary.
Here's to knowing what I want and achieving like a little princess rather than bawling and not getting myself anywhere.
Here's to looking forward into the future rather than digging into the past.
Here's to getting over people (not only guys) that do you wrong.
Here's to getting past issues and to forgiving.
Here's to knowing who I am, and not letting anybody, NO FREAKING BODY, tell me whom                                                                              You ain't got the right to tell me
I should be like or what I should be like.                       When and where to go, no right to tell me
Here's to doing what I think or feel is right.                  Acting like you own me lately
Here's to doing what IS right.                                        Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me
Here's for the past knowing where to stay.
Here's for loving the world.                                         
Here's to complimenting others
Here's to loving who I am.
Cheers!

Mis favoritos son:

* Perfume! This month's favorite perfume of mine is Escada's "Escada". This perfume is sincerely SO good. It's smells like what angels would sound like if that makes any sense at all. It is pure, clean and fresh, which are all the things I would like to smell like in the sweaty months of the summer, but I'm on my last few drops and I haven't really seen it in drugstores, so hopefully when I go on the delegation in July (HURRAY!) I will find it in the duty free.
Fragrance Notes: . Notes include Bergamot, Black Currant, Leafy Greens, Cucumber, Italian Lemon, Sea Breeze Accord, Freesia, Honeydew, Magnolia, Jasmine, Muguet, Rose, Orange Blossom, Peony, Amber, Musk, Nectarine, Vanilla, Orris, Patchouli, Sandalwood.
Usually I absolutely despise scents with jasmine in them, so the fact that I like it so flipping much means a lot.

*Trend! My favorite trend for this month is sleeveless button up shirts! I will do a haul soon and show you the two I got from H&M, but here's an example from Urban Outfitters that I wanted to get really badly, but I haven't gotten around to buying it. Oh, well.


* Face wash! My favorite face wash was given to me by a friend that doesn't like this, and I used it when I slept over at her house. Apparently she ran out of hers while being abroad so she bought it instead and didn't like it. This thing is miraculous! The Clean & Clear blackhead clearing daily scrub is just one of the best face washes I've used and it is so very cheap. It is oil free, but even though I have dry to normal skin it's moisturizing in the right way. I don't use it everyday, because it's a scrub, which can irritate the skin and all, but it is GREAT.


*Concealer combo! I have really no right to complain about acne or whatever, but my under eye circles can look like a rainbow on a good day. These products are what I feel like do the best job in covering those babies up. First I put a real thin layer of the Garnier roll-on that is supposed to have caffeine that wakens your eyes in the morning, and cooling ingredients that are supposed to de-puff. I got the formula that is a little tinted, but in my opinion it is a little too orange, which is good for a corrector under the concealer so that the rather toneless concealer will not look blue. The concealer is good for both covering up circles, and for covering up acne. This concealer is PUPA's stick concealer in the shade 01 if anyone was wondering. Really both are amazing on their own, but in my case, with all the lack of sleep and the stress, the answer is BOTH.

*Mascara! Again PUPA's product, the Diva's Lashes mascara by them, which really volumizes your lashes and gives great definition. I'm still on the hunt for a more elongating one, so for any ideas and suggestions, hit the comments!

*Blush! Victoria's Secret's Very Sexy blush in Runway. It has two shades of pink that are really pretty. One is really shimmery, though, so anyone that doesn't like it can still use the side with the non-shimmery blush color which is completely matte. They're a peachy tone, but leaning more towards pink, so they look super natural, even though in the container they are SCAREY bright.

*Bronzer! Jade's Indian Wood bronzer is a shimmery rose-gold like tone. I like the shimmer because it adds dimensions to my face and gives it a natural looking glow that I don't have because of my pretty dry skin. If you don't like it STEP AWAY FROM IT, for your sake, really. Its tone enables it to multifunction as blush, as well.

* Lip product! Sephora's lip gloss in Pink Ballerina is the most beautiful light shade of pink that gives your lips the most natural glossy look. I have had the sampke size for forever now, and it is really holding up. Its texture is not sticky, and very moisturizing, but to be honest, although the smell is nice, the taste is a little iffy.

* Person! Honestly, and this is going to sound ridiculous, but my math teacher. She helped get more sure of myself and get through all the tests with good grades. She helped me feel better about myself and calm the heck down rather than FREAK OUT!

* Pride! My sister is finally decisive and decided on doing something useful for what she loves. She loves fashion as much as I do if not three times as much, and she decided on doing a local designers sale this Friday. I am so proud of her. Even the press was making an announcement about it.

* Singer! Olly Murs- this guy can sing! I love him so freaking much, for his cute upbeat music (for me that is upbeat, since I listen to depressing music all the time. Oopsies). I love his lyrics, which, to me, are the most important part of the song.

*Song! Anna Sun by Walk the Moon is definately my most played over and over song this month. Cheerful and cute, and the lead singer's moves just add on to this really, sincerely lovely song.  Give it a listen.




That's all girls! Love you very much! XOXO Roni J.
Here's to the month of May.
Cheers!