Insecurities Cured (April Favorites)

Hello girls!
I'm sorry this took me quite some time, but I had to gather up what I wanted to say, I guess.
As part of falling out of love with Mr. Guy, I thought I should maybe take a step back and find someone else to fall in love with. Now, I made the mistake of falling for a new guy in order to fall out of love with the old one enough times. I don't mean falling in love with a new guy, not at all. What I mean is, I needed in fact to fall in love with myself. I got insecure, and started doubting my value, because if he doesn't want, who's to say someone will ever. I looked at myself in the mirror, and wasn't seeing me anymore, and that, my friends, is the biggest mistake I've done in a while.
Mr. Guy isn't to blame for this at all, if I were to blame I'd still be hanging from his line for a long long time, and I know the last post, The Sandbox, sounds like I was very angry, but the truth is I let the anger I had for myself come out like I was angry at him, and it just made it harder to let it go.
If I would have been angry at him I wouldn't have been able to slowly let go, because I still had some sort of feeling for him that's deeper than just any feeling I would have had for anybody else, which it shouldn't be, because the line between hating someone and loving them is very blurry, and you can easily step on it and cross it.
So I took my time off. I tried my best to not see him so much, because that just makes things harder, but I also told myself I wasn't going to avoid him if there's something I want to do and he's there. I just stopped looking for ways to see him more than needed.
I tried stripping myself from makeup a little bit, being confident and comfortable with the way I look naturally was important to me. I noticed that a lot more people said I look good every morning, and I can only guess it's not because I am horrible at putting make up on, but more because I was starting to glow from the inside. Starting to see I have value no matter what someone else might think.
I looked in the mirror every morning and instead of trying to hide my flaws I looked at my better features, and focused on them.
I'm not saying I'm a narcissist all of a sudden. It's not that I don't have flaws that I have to wake up to every morning, but these flaws make me special. They make me who I am, and they set me back from anybody else. I can now tell you that I know there's only one Roni J. and to be honest, I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
And Mr. Guy hasn't fallen for my charm and dazzling good looks, but I was shy around him and didn't present myself to him the  way I see myself, or my family, or my true friends, and that could be the true problem. But, then again, if I hadn't opened up to him after such a long time, and if I couldn't feel comfortable enough around him to present him with my true self, then I don't think he deserves it. Not in this stage of my life, I don't think so, at least.
So here are my favorites for this month, that made me a little more confident, that made me feel better when I was down. I hope you guys enjoy this! Don't forget to love yourself, because you are, in my opinion lovely and wonderful, and people deserve seeing you that way, and you deserve seeing yourself in the mirror and saying "Wow, my eyes look good today", "I love my hair this morning", and to step outside and feel comfortable in your own skin and just really ignore anyone that's jealous enough of you to say otherwise:

T.V Shows-
1) Cougar Town- I started watching from the very beginning because they are hilarious, and comedies like this make you  feel instantly better, no matter what's going on in your life.

2) New Girl- For the very same reason. It's going to be the season finale real soon, and I can see myself missing it so much. It instantly lights up my day, and I just love this show. 

3) Revolution- This is a less popular show, but I simply adore it. I love drama- action filled shows and movies like this one or like lost, that have mystery, and an amazing concept and something new to show. They are a little more serious, but they are simply addictive. This one's about what happens to the world when absolutely all the electricity stops working, out of nowhere. It talks a bit about human nature, and a bit about what we give the most importance to in our lives. It's an amazing show and I highly highly recommend seeing it.

4) The Cult- It's another good drama with a lot of action that I got into. It's a bit too much gore sometimes, but it's an incredibly interesting concept about a cult created by a T.V. show that people watch, and it's really insanely good.





Movies-

1) Total Recall- This month I have watched the least movies I have watched in a month in the past 4 years. I have only watched this one, and Lord Of The Flies that I have already seen and read multiple times. I still liked Total Recall a lot because it was a little bit like Inception, when you start losing the idea of what's reality, and what's the Rekall program. It's about a war torn world, and it's just really weird, and interesting, and action filled, and as you might be able to notice the pattern, I like action movies and shows, and this one stood out.







Youtubers-
1) Daily Grace- I am so late to jump on this bandwagon that I am ashamed of myself, but this girl cracked me up like crazy. I have only just subscribed to her and she's hilarious! She puts up so many videos that I have something to watch from her almost every day, and I just laugh so hard at everything she says and does.

2) What The Buck- He's a long time favorite. He makes me laugh with every single word he says, and he literally has the purest heart I have seen. He's just so true and honest and real that I love it.





Apps-
1) Fruit Ninja- I have just gotten addicted to this stupid game all over again. I can't deal with how much I play this crap.

2) Instagram- I kinda left it for a while, but now I'm hooked onto it all over again. I love it.













Websites-
1) Neopets- God I'M SORRY! I didn't mean to be like this, and I know I'm 18 and it's time I got over my childhood obsessions, but we were in chem class and had no work to do so me and my friend decided to reminisce, and we got into Neopets, and I'm addicted. I'm sorry there's really no excuse for what I've done.




Computer Games-
1) Sims 3- Another childhood addiction I have re-discovered, and I freaking love it, and I have nothing more to say about this game other than it's freaking fantabulous!





Piece Of Jewelery-
1) This Necklace- Was gifted to my sister a few years ago and she never wore it so I took it like two weeks ago, and I absolutely love it. It is so unique and gorgeous. Wish I knew where it's from... Sorry.






Songs-
1) Hurricane by Bridgit Mendler- Sweet fun good-feel song. It's a bit sad if you listen closely, but It's just fun to listen to.

2) No Cure by Meghan Hilty- This song was there for the harder part of the month, the more heart broken part of the month. But it got me through heart break by just knowing almost exactly how I felt.

3) Leave Your Boyfriends Behind by Leona Naess- This song is just about the fun youthful girly times I've had the past few weeks. I was in a really funny party where everybody except me was drunk, and a ton of guys hit on me and I started playing jokes on them telling them I'm from a different country and all sorts of funny crap they believed, and the next day we celebrated my friend's 18th birthday on a yacht dancing and swimming, and having the best time of our lives, and I went to the beach for the first time this year, and this is what I'm about now. This song describes this perfectly. This is the true favorite this month.






4) I Love It by Icon Pop- Was playing on the yacht, and in the party I went to and will remind me of the good times every time I listen to it. I don't care. I love it.

That's all sweeties. Have a great month of may. <3 XOXO Roni J.

Here's To.... (April Favorites)

Hello girls!
How have you been doing lately?
I have been doing better with the whole stress situation, and things are a little more calm again.
I have had a few things in April that really are worth toasting to:
Here's to being able to handle stress, and jump over every hurdle that's in my way even though I hate running.
Here's to being able to show myself that I am so much better than I give myself credit for.
Here's to learning how to stand up for myself, who I am, what I believe in, and what's important to me.
Here's to taking the space I need desperately, to stepping back, relaxing, to being selfish as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else.
Here's to knowing that being selfish (obviously as long as it doesn't hurt anybody) is human,
 allowed, and even necessary.
Here's to knowing what I want and achieving like a little princess rather than bawling and not getting myself anywhere.
Here's to looking forward into the future rather than digging into the past.
Here's to getting over people (not only guys) that do you wrong.
Here's to getting past issues and to forgiving.
Here's to knowing who I am, and not letting anybody, NO FREAKING BODY, tell me whom                                                                              You ain't got the right to tell me
I should be like or what I should be like.                       When and where to go, no right to tell me
Here's to doing what I think or feel is right.                  Acting like you own me lately
Here's to doing what IS right.                                        Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me
Here's for the past knowing where to stay.
Here's for loving the world.                                         
Here's to complimenting others
Here's to loving who I am.
Cheers!

Mis favoritos son:

* Perfume! This month's favorite perfume of mine is Escada's "Escada". This perfume is sincerely SO good. It's smells like what angels would sound like if that makes any sense at all. It is pure, clean and fresh, which are all the things I would like to smell like in the sweaty months of the summer, but I'm on my last few drops and I haven't really seen it in drugstores, so hopefully when I go on the delegation in July (HURRAY!) I will find it in the duty free.
Fragrance Notes: . Notes include Bergamot, Black Currant, Leafy Greens, Cucumber, Italian Lemon, Sea Breeze Accord, Freesia, Honeydew, Magnolia, Jasmine, Muguet, Rose, Orange Blossom, Peony, Amber, Musk, Nectarine, Vanilla, Orris, Patchouli, Sandalwood.
Usually I absolutely despise scents with jasmine in them, so the fact that I like it so flipping much means a lot.

*Trend! My favorite trend for this month is sleeveless button up shirts! I will do a haul soon and show you the two I got from H&M, but here's an example from Urban Outfitters that I wanted to get really badly, but I haven't gotten around to buying it. Oh, well.


* Face wash! My favorite face wash was given to me by a friend that doesn't like this, and I used it when I slept over at her house. Apparently she ran out of hers while being abroad so she bought it instead and didn't like it. This thing is miraculous! The Clean & Clear blackhead clearing daily scrub is just one of the best face washes I've used and it is so very cheap. It is oil free, but even though I have dry to normal skin it's moisturizing in the right way. I don't use it everyday, because it's a scrub, which can irritate the skin and all, but it is GREAT.


*Concealer combo! I have really no right to complain about acne or whatever, but my under eye circles can look like a rainbow on a good day. These products are what I feel like do the best job in covering those babies up. First I put a real thin layer of the Garnier roll-on that is supposed to have caffeine that wakens your eyes in the morning, and cooling ingredients that are supposed to de-puff. I got the formula that is a little tinted, but in my opinion it is a little too orange, which is good for a corrector under the concealer so that the rather toneless concealer will not look blue. The concealer is good for both covering up circles, and for covering up acne. This concealer is PUPA's stick concealer in the shade 01 if anyone was wondering. Really both are amazing on their own, but in my case, with all the lack of sleep and the stress, the answer is BOTH.

*Mascara! Again PUPA's product, the Diva's Lashes mascara by them, which really volumizes your lashes and gives great definition. I'm still on the hunt for a more elongating one, so for any ideas and suggestions, hit the comments!

*Blush! Victoria's Secret's Very Sexy blush in Runway. It has two shades of pink that are really pretty. One is really shimmery, though, so anyone that doesn't like it can still use the side with the non-shimmery blush color which is completely matte. They're a peachy tone, but leaning more towards pink, so they look super natural, even though in the container they are SCAREY bright.

*Bronzer! Jade's Indian Wood bronzer is a shimmery rose-gold like tone. I like the shimmer because it adds dimensions to my face and gives it a natural looking glow that I don't have because of my pretty dry skin. If you don't like it STEP AWAY FROM IT, for your sake, really. Its tone enables it to multifunction as blush, as well.

* Lip product! Sephora's lip gloss in Pink Ballerina is the most beautiful light shade of pink that gives your lips the most natural glossy look. I have had the sampke size for forever now, and it is really holding up. Its texture is not sticky, and very moisturizing, but to be honest, although the smell is nice, the taste is a little iffy.

* Person! Honestly, and this is going to sound ridiculous, but my math teacher. She helped get more sure of myself and get through all the tests with good grades. She helped me feel better about myself and calm the heck down rather than FREAK OUT!

* Pride! My sister is finally decisive and decided on doing something useful for what she loves. She loves fashion as much as I do if not three times as much, and she decided on doing a local designers sale this Friday. I am so proud of her. Even the press was making an announcement about it.

* Singer! Olly Murs- this guy can sing! I love him so freaking much, for his cute upbeat music (for me that is upbeat, since I listen to depressing music all the time. Oopsies). I love his lyrics, which, to me, are the most important part of the song.

*Song! Anna Sun by Walk the Moon is definately my most played over and over song this month. Cheerful and cute, and the lead singer's moves just add on to this really, sincerely lovely song.  Give it a listen.




That's all girls! Love you very much! XOXO Roni J.
Here's to the month of May.
Cheers!