Showing posts with label May. Show all posts
Showing posts with label May. Show all posts

Sunday, June 30, 2013

June Sais Quoi

How long have I not written a normal sincere blog post? Far too long. My life has been... I'm not kidding you... FREAKING INSANE. I've got exams to finish (last on is ont he 4th of July...THE FUDGE?! You inconsiderate bunch of bastards!), I've got trips that I have already taken in the past few weeks and some thousands more to take, guests from my past coming, and a lot, a lot of goodbyes. So let's start explaining all the craziness that's already been going on in the past two months and continue on the path to the plans for July and August, which in comparison to them, May and June are a freaking knock knock joke.
The past two months:
I have basically graduated high school. I got a graduate diploma, a social excellence diploma for being student body president, and an academic excellence diploma, which my parents were all so proud of, and so was I. You don't know this, but it took me a long time to decide that this will be the high school that I will be attending after I came back from my two years abroad. I didn't know anybody there at the time, when I joined the school in the middle of middle school, and I didn't want to get back to my old group of friends that I was a part of in lower school. I must be honest to tell you this was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I became a part group of a really good crowd of people, and a large one at that. Besides that I can literally say that out of the entire senior class of around 250 students I dislike maybe 2, and get along with the most. These people were amazing, and accepting, and didn't judge me for my oddities, and I have many, from the very beginning. Sometimes I had rough patches with some of them, but being the  person I am, I click with a lot of different varieties of people, and I rarely ever got into clashes with anybody. So even if I really don't want any of them to freaking read this, I want them to telepathically know that I love them, and am so so sad to have to say goodbye to them all. Besides that I had amazing opportunities at school like the three delegations I took part in, student body, and amazing classes with very interesting teachers. So I'm as grateful as can be for the past four years. They were years very well spent.
As a graduation trip, the school took us into the city for the entire night. I mean we did not sleep, at all. We drove there (about three or four hours ride) by bus, but we didn't sit with our homeroom like we usually did on class trips and so forth. We sat with mixed home rooms, so I picked to sit with the one I have the most friends with, one of which is Tiny, which you might remember from past stories. I wasn't sitting next to her from the very beginning, and was sitting at the front of the bus. They played a sad goodbye song (Leaving On A Jet Plane) thinking they're oh-so-clever and oh-so-charming to make me teary eyed (the only one on the entire freaking bus), and I started crying, because I'm a girl like that, and I was trying to hide it, but the girl sitting next to me heard me sniffling a sob so she decided it was a smart idea to just yell "Oh look how sweet! Roni's crying", and I'm like.... Shut up bitch... Only much nicer than that, and Big Guy hears her, because he's sitting across from us, and says "Oh really? So you've got a heart now?". Apparently I don't show much emotions... Boo-freaking-hoo.. Kill me. My friend then goes on explaining she's probably thinking about how she won't ever see half of this senior class after today (good call pal), to which Big Guy replies in his snake charming voice (when I say snake charming, I mean both a snake, and a charmer, not a charmer of snakes) "don't worry Roni, we'll keep in touch" and winks, at the same time as I say "oh this is probably the same half of the senior class I really don't care about", which, because it was said in the exact same time, sounded kind of like a diss to him. Oooppsss.
So after a while I get tired of the crowd in the front of the bus, so I go sit next to Tiny in the back of the bus and we talk and stuff. I flirt with Mr. Perfect, who's taken now, but the heck I saw him first (probably didn't.. So what? Fuck off!). Then, Mr. Perfect's quite handsome (and not far from perfect himself) friend sits with Tiny and I. We cram in the three of us into one bus stool, which kinda feels like an odd orgy. But we talked and laughed and it was great. I never knew him too well, I only knew him by his name and a little background, but never invested myself into getting to know him too well. Then I got a little car sick so I went back to sit in the front section of the bus, and, Tiny told me later, this new mister, Mr. Mystery, told her right after I got up that I'm cute, and how come we've never talked before, so Tiny said to him, you seriously missed out, and he said I can see I did. Later on the bus rides from one place to another in the city Mr. Mystery and I sat together alone, and talked and flirted and laughed, which was nice, and like a new door has opened up for me. A new door of opportunities. On a later bus ride after touring the entire city, and flirting with a bunch of guys from my grade, Big Guy asked me on the bus whether or not he'll see me in the party later on that night, and I said maybe very sheepishly, knowing that he looks at me every single party that he sees me in, and can't stop staring at me, and then he said "I hope you do".
That night we do end up going to that party, almost the entire group of our friends, but what's a party with a big group of girls without a bit of drama?! One of the girls gets there far too late and far too pissed of at all of her friends who've been trying to help her, and drinks just a teenie weenie too much. By the time we get to the party she isn't feeling well, and me and another friend are a little too late to get to check up on her so she points at my friend and says "I hate you", and the points to me "And you're pathetic so you can also leave", and I'm like.... Ppfffffttttt OH REALLY. My other friend takes it really hard cause A. she's drunk, and B. she cares too much about the stupid girl's opinion, but me? I don't I tell the rest of the girls to watch her and get her home, because I ain't no bitch, but I just get up and walk away after she says "so you can also leave", and I say "fine I will". I wasn't hurt by her because I know I'm not "pathetic", and if I ever were to be I would still be less pathetic than she was at that moment. You're drunk, about to throw up in front of your entire grade, looking like a hot mess, and I am the "pathetic" one? I think not. I just thought she had some nerve to say these things to us after we took care of her the entire night so that she could come to the party (we had to wait hours for her to show up, not knowing if she's even going to show up in the end, and rush to hop on the taxi, I literally had to run to catch the taxi), and after we come to check up her. She's got some nerve. I am not mad at her anymore I am not holding any grudges or anything, because I'm better than that, and I shouldn't act like a five year old, but I'm kind of done. I mean I'm not going to ignore her because I don't want no drama, but a friend who treats you like this on a regular basis, when she feels like it, and pushes you around, does not deserve me as a friend, and I do not deserve being put down.
Later on though, things get better, cause I talk to Mr. Mystery, and flirt a little more with him and with Big Guy, which always puts you in a better mood when you're being complimented. Mr. Guy though, has been ignoring me for days already, and it got really weird when he said hi to the girl next to me at the party, and said nothing to me, and didn't even look at me. I don't feel the same way I did for him as I did before, but it's still quite offensive to have the son of a gun ignore me.
Days pass, and we're getting ready for summer camp so we meet up a lot. Yesterday we did a writing session for the senior songs CD that we bring out every year for summer camp, and it was hilarious. Just insane. I love them so much. Another goodbye, though.
Tonight I hosted a BBQ for my homeroom to say yet another goodbye,which is no fun whatsoever, and I am feeling horrible, so I didn't feel like hosting anything. I think I got a cold from sitting outside last night until very very late writing songs with the nut cases I call my friends. But I couldn't have asked for better people, and a better experience than I had had with my homeroom the past three years. These kids made me the happiest, the most comfortable and welcomed I have ever felt, and I am so grateful for that. And there's a huge rock weighing down my chest because... I just am going to miss them so much. And I hate goodbyes because I always cry (already managed to cry for about an hour today after the BBQ). I just sincerely love these people like brothers and sisters, and I feel like not seeing them everyday is... heart breaking.
This is summing up what's happened up until now. What's about to happen is some crazy shit. It's gonna be all shades of nuts. Tomorrow early in the morning I have an interview for a job I might get in about a year. It's an interesting job, but I don't know much about it yet. Later on tomorrow a family that hosted me a part of my two years abroad is coming to visit me, which is sweet, but I haven't really managed to keep in touch with them over the years, so hopefully it won't be terribly awkward. Later this week will be my very final exam of my high school experience on Thursday, and on Friday we go on 8 days of summer camp. This is when I start living out of bags for the next month or so. The very next day I go to a little seminar with the people that will be attending college with me next year, which has to be interesting, but I'm resenting it for some reason. Possibly cause I'm scare, possibly cause I've had an amazing time the past three years, and don't really feel like starting something new when I'm not yet near done with high school. But that meeting is in the city so I have to drive in after not sleeping well for around 8 days if not more.
The very next day I have to be in the city again, because I'm flying out to Greece with a bunch of my best friends. We're staying there 5 days for a fun beach holiday, and then we get back. The very very next day I have to be back in the city though, because I'm flying out to my momma who's moving to Norway for half a year for her job. So I won't see her for half a year after the two week I'll spend there, which is bound to be hard as hell. I'll try my best to write in the next two months, but I doubt I'll be able to write much, because I will be living out of a suitcase. Not complaining, though. I'm going to have the time of my life. I am excited about this time. It has some je ne sais quoi about it. Some mystery. Some magic.
So my favorites the past two months have been:
1) 2 Broke Girls. Best comedy ever. I'm not even kidding you guys. This is my exact humor- sexual, dirty, sarcastic, but not vulgar! Hilarious hilarious hilarious story about a rich New York elite girl who loses all her money and meets up with another broke girl who's always had to work hard and fend for herself, and together they try rising up. Just freaking crazy and amazing. Can't wait for next season.... CANNOT!

2) Happy Endings. Sweet little comedy I started watching when I finished 2 Broke Girls. Not nearly as funny in my opinion, but still very lovable, and I am so sad they have canceled it. Hope they go all Cougar Town with it, and film it in a cheaper setting to close it up nicely.

3) Baby Daddy. Season 2 is just... 20 times better than the first. I just freaking love Danny (Derek Theler) so much. He's such an adorable character, which is funny because I tuned in in the first place to watch Jean Luc Bilodeau, but I just like Derek SO FREAKING MUCH. I follow after them all on Instagram, and they are just so cute.

4) LOL. Cutest movie I've seen in a long time. The guy interest in the movie is just the perfect personality for a men in my opinion. Confident, and caring, and honest, a good friend, a musician. That's what made this movie so lovable for me. Love her new song, too, and even though the music video is crazy and a little over over the top, I appreciate the creativity put into it.

5) Nashville. Watched that show in like 2 days because I loved Gunnar. Again, he just possesses most of the qualities I see in the perfect man.. He's just adorable. Loved the music in it, which has majorly affected my playlist with songs like I will fall, If I Didn't Know Better, and so forth. Love country music even more so now than I did then. I also love Maisy and Lennon, and think they are absolutely amazing and crazy talented, and hope to see more of them, because they are just.. Mind blowing.

6) Stubborn Love by The Lumineers. This song has amazing lyrics, and I just love the video for some reason they touched my heart very deep. I just fell in love with it very very quickly.
7) Tip Of My Tongue by The Civil Wars. Such a seductive song, but so genuine and true, and loving. I just adore it.

8) Pretties. Not yet done with it but so freaking close. I just love this series so much. They make it sound so real, and it sounds so realistic that people would think to make us all look the same and think the same.




I don't really have beauty favorites these past two months, because I have been very constant with products and all, but I promise to try out some new things. Love you, and probably should go to sleep if I want to wake up in time for my interview tomorrow. XOXO Roni J.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Fragile (May Favorites)

Hey girls (and boys. Do we have any boys here? If so, tell me, I feel like I would hate it if no one referred to me when I was reading a blog of theirs). How has this month passed? Was it any better than the last? Any worse (oh gosh I hope not).
So when I was about 13, I think, I went to a summer camp with a friend. It was a bible camp, even though that's not really my thing. I went there because she is my best friend (to this day), and it was a lot of fun, when I look back. The subject that year was fragile. How the world is so very fragile, how relationships are so very fragile, and how we need to take care of our surroundings, because we can never put together the pieces exactly the way they were before they cracked or shattered (depends on the case really). English is not my first language, so I didn't really know what the meaning was at first, but as time passed I came to know what this means.
The definition of fragile from dictionary.com is: easily broken, shattered, or damaged; delicate; brittle; frail.
In other words, I guess, it means breakable.
I don't know if I told you this before, but my sister left about a week ago to live abroad for a few months. I don't think I really have to stress how hard it was to have her leave, and how much I miss her every day she's away, and how hard it is to hear she's going through something hard and not to be able to hug her and to be there for her.
Yesterday my mother talk to her on Skype before she came home and she texted me "Will be held back a little, on Skype with your sister. Boy crisis". My sister met a guy before she went abroad who lives there and they talked almost everyday on Skype, and when she visited a few months ago they were doing alright and all this time he seems interested. As well as since she got there about a week ago.
Yesterday, after spending an entire day with her, a day she felt was perfect, a day when he was, apparently, marking his territory in front of his friends, after all that, he decides he doesn't want her anymore, and he just told her it's not what he wants.
Understandable. The guy decides that's not what he wants. I actually appreciate the honesty, but he could have said it sooner, he could have made her understand that he's not interested rather than making her believe that he really wants something to happen between them, he could have not waited this long, he could have not marked territory or waited a whole day to say it. But he didn't.
My sister is much more breakable than I am. Part of it is the fact that I let no one in maybe, and I am very calculated rather than gut follower. I almost never break, surely not in front of the person responsible, and I'm able of holding it in and not letting at show through. It's my specialty really.
I can honestly say I had a thousand scenarios of what I should have done to the guy who broke my sister's heart like, to the point where every time she heard our voices (voices from home) she started weeping. I am so protective of my family, especially her since she is, as I've said, so fragile.
My heart breaks at the sight of any person with a broken heart. I cry like a little girl. I mean, while watching Kyle XY, there were quite a few heart broken moments and I cried in each and every one of them. While watching the Hunger Games, I cried when Gale saw Peeta and Katniss kiss even thought I like Peeta better, just because I knew his heart must have been breaking, and those are fictional characters, so seeing someone real going through heartbreak, and someone that I love as much as I love my sister, I simply broke down.
Good thing I talked to her over the phone last night, because my voice did crack a little, but I really didn't want her to see the tears. Just hearing her cry, her voice so aching, her wanting to come back home, it was so hard not to cry.
Over all I think today she's probably better. I hope so. I will move on to my favorites right about now.

*Favorite T.V. Show: Kyle X.Y. I have literally talked about this a thousand times it feels like, but this is genuinely THE best show I have seen in a REALLY REALLY long time. It is a complete fiction, kind of science fiction teen drama show. I love it. I'm still not able to see the last episode they shot before the show got canceled, because I seriously don't want it to end.




*Favorite Person: Jean-Luc Bilodeau. This is the guy that plays Kyle's adoptive brother in the show and I can seriously say that, besides his good looks, he can portray so much emotion, he's funny, and half of the times I cried about something in the show (I cry a lot at seeing other people's pain) it was because of him. I am happy to say that he's coming out with a show called Baby Daddy very very soon, so I'll be on the lookout for it :) (It's going to be on ABC Family for whomever is in the U.S. and would like to try it out). Hopefully it's good. Just don't kill me if it isn't.



*Favorite Mascara: Loreal's Telescopic in brown. I know I said last month that I love PUPA's mascara, and I do think it is a great mascara, but the wand is SO extremely thick and uncomfortable. I love the formula, but the wand kills it for me. So I got back to using Loreal's Telescopic, which is also more lengthening, I would think, than the PUPA one, which I want more of than I want a thickening one. The wand is absolutely tiny, which is perfect for the bottom lushes as well. I like it!




*Favorite Artist: Paolo Nutini. This guy will forever, I hope, be my favorite artist. His lyrics are amazing, his voice sends chill up and down my spine, he is amazing (I haven't said it before enough). I have discovered new songs of his and I just fell in love all over again.




Favorite Song: Wake Up by Arcade Fire covered by (surprise surprise) Paolo Nutini. Amazing cover. So heartfelt and.... I just love him obviously.
Have a great weekend!!! XOXO Roni J.!