A French Kiss

It all started two nights ago. That weird kind of feeling that God is playing a practical joke on you and you can't help but laugh with him, because it is freaking hilarious. Things that you never knew were even an option, things you never ever dared think might happen in your future are starting to unravel.

We were talking in our WhatsApp group about how lonely and old we are, and bitter we are about our love life. My friend, Ginger, started talking about how much she wants to find someone, and another friend, Curly Fries, told her to be with a guy friend of ours, Baron, with whom Ginger had been a few months back. 

Baron used to live abroad, and he had met two friend there. These friendships have lasted 13 years, through borders and miles and miles apart. These two guys, Blondie and Frenchie, came over to visit Baron before they all head to college. 

When Curly Fries suggested that Ginger be with Baron, she added "and you could have a threesome with him and with Frenchie. 

I had met both Frenchie and Goldie a week ago so very briefly during a hangout with the rest of the group of our friends, but not being too close to Baron, not since the end of ninth grade when we were separated in our homeroom classes, I didn't talk to them much at all. I could sense, though, that Frenchie was paying me special attention when we talked for a second, and kind of rushed the thought out of my mind. By the way, he's French and a complete hottie. 

When Curly Fries made the threesome I jokingly said "Ginger, you have Baron, and I will have Frenchie". God knows nothing that I say jokingly will ever end up doing what I had meant for it to do. Sometimes it ends up kicking me in the behind so hard I fall over, sometimes it's just the start of something new. 

Instead of just being this stupid, harmless comment that I made, Miss Curly Fries decided to send a picture of it to Baron. Not because of what I had said, but because of what Ginger said. Baron sees this, and from then on Curly Fries and him try to set me up with this good looking French guy I barely know anything about. 

And I am in the middle of a big family dinner, laughing so hard. Is God 

freaking joking? Is he serious? Since when do I get set up with a hot French guy. Later on it also turns out that Frenchie WAS, in fact, eyeing me that first night we had met, so Baron knew that he was interested in me before I even made the comment. A good looking, well educated, beautiful, French guy, is, finding, me, attractive!? Common, where are the cameras big guy? Where you hiding at? 

Baron and Curly Fries promise to arrange a date and I automatically get nervous as hell, even though, in reality, I'm pretty damn sure nothing will really happen, and Baron and I are not necessarily the bestest of friends, so why would he set me up with his literally best childhood friend that has only ten more days in this country? Especially when he knows how much of a prude I am. 

Last night I'm in my head gear already, still in my clothes, but so fucking ready to get to bed its not even funny. I am meters of taking my dress off, and then I get a text from Curly Fries that another girl, Wave, and she are on their way to pick me up to go over to Baron's house to have a group date just so that Frenchie and I could maybe run into the chance of being together. My heart starts beating mad. Like. Insane. I think I need to get that checked out because freaking Superman doesn't run as fast as my heart was beating. 

I get ready quickly not putting too much effort, because I don't want to stress myself out even more, or get my hope higher than they already are. 

We get to Baron's garage that he turned into his room with a ping pong table, and a pool table and we play some and I am shy and not talkative and Baron makes his little kid comments about how I should ask Frenchie to teach me to play pool because I am TERRIBLE. And I am already stressed out enough and want to go home and give up because I have work in the morning and its already 2am for crying out loud, and I'm embarrassed and scared and want to just let it go, it's not like it's believable that anything would ever happen between me and him. 

And then Baron says he's not going to let me go home unless I walked out with Frenchie. And I insist. Baron, no! Baron, I'm just humiliating myself! And we speak in the local language, thank goodness, so Frenchie doesn't understand what we're saying but he knows what I came there for, and can hear the tone of things, so I guess he knew the direction of things. 

And then Baron gets closer and looks at me and says "you know just how shy I am with girls. You know how long it took me to kiss a girl, and, you ladies, still scare me like shit. I told him it's your first kiss and that you're going to be freaking out about it (why does Baron know I have never been kissed will remain a mystery forever), and he knows and he really wants you. He really really does. You can see him looking at you. Common, just one leap of faith, once. And then after that it just gets better and easier". I almost started tearing up, and almost called the Noble Prize headquarters for him. I was shocked by how genuine and sweet he was, and by how much he was really just trying to help me out. 

I was convinced mainly because I wanted to go home, but also because what Baron said played that one right note in my head. And I walked out. 

A few seconds later he walks out. We walk around the neighborhood and talk for way longer than I had initially planned. And he knows how stressed out I am so he doesn't try anything we just walked and talked. And he made me as comfortable as I could be when I'm such a stress case. Then get back to Baron's house, and us girls leave. 

The moment we leave Baron sends me a message saying that Frenchie wants to do it again sometime before he leaves and I agree. 

So joke well played, God. I love you. You're wonderful. And so are you my loves. We'll see maybe this is like Grease and we'll have a summer romance. Maybe not. Let's keep our expectations down, and see if this French kiss is meant to be. XOXO Roni J.